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  1. FieldMarshal CouchP

    This is Guka - Karibuni Wadau.....Palms Lounge. Food. Drinks. Beds.....

    Wadau, kama uko area za Mirema Drive na unataka to have a drink in a serene place, have a bite or kuosha rungu discreetly, just call the number here. The actual place ni hapo ukimaliza hako kamlima ka kwanza junction utaona kibao ya Faith Gardens on the left. First gate (Black) on the left...
  2. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Issack Hassan's Take on the Evil Trinity; Raila, the Media and Foreign-Funded NGOs

    This book is gonna be epic. And as the traditional media loses its grasp, we will come to know the truth. This is from The Star - you can't see this in The Nation or Standard. Shame, shame, shame! My battles with Raila: Issack Hassan opens up Aug. 21, 2017, 12:30 am By JAMES MURIMI...
  3. FieldMarshal CouchP

    As Kidero Concedes and Attends Sonko's Swearing, Questions Abound

    Have they struck a deal not to go after each other? Has Sonko been compromised not to go after Kidero/Wainaina's loot? What does this portend for Nasa? What do you make of the whole circus?
  4. FieldMarshal CouchP

    SUNDAY EXCLUSIVE REVEAL: Should Supreme Court Judge Isaac Lenaola Recuse Himself?

    This judge was in the same class at Alliance High School (AHS) with George Kegoro (joined in 1982), and just a few years behind Maina Kiai. The three are buddies, and often have a 'drink' together (it is rumoured that when Isaac Lenaola was arrested for drunk-driving two years ago, it was...
  5. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Europe and its Stupidity; See Now What is Happening...........

    Europeans - Whites - like to pretend they are more civilised than anybody else. So, they tell you: abolish the death penalty. Open your doors to Muslim 'refugees'. Bla bla bla........... In this same village, we told them they were gonna pay dearly for this soft-soft approach. They said we...
  6. FieldMarshal CouchP

    BREAKING NOW: BABUON CHICKENS OUT OF DECLARING HIMSELF PRESIDENT

    The biggest, baddest, earth-shaking, unprecedented, momentous, important, significant, historic, portentous, critical, crucial, life-and-death, decisive, pivotal, consequential, far-reaching, and impactful announcement by NASA has been postponed to tomorrow.
  7. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Ngai Baba! Drae Fraya-in-Chief of Chief's Three Daughters, Ama Ni Mimi Sioni Vizuri?

    Daily Nation paginimacation 43, ile ya transition (obituries). Mimi hupenda sana kusoma details ya watu wale wamekufa since am gonna join them soon (you wish!). Sasa hiyo page kuna half-page death announcement ya Dr Samuel Muchai Kinyanjui. Part of it reads thus: "Husband to Mary Wanjiru...
  8. FieldMarshal CouchP

    He he he he he! Huyu Fazul Na Yeye Jo!

    The Kalonzo Musyoka Foundation - Deregistered! Africog (Wambui Otieno and others) - Deregistered! Kenya Human Rights Commission (Makau Mutua and Kiai) - Deregistered! Key Empowerment Foundation (Rosemary Odinga) - Deregistered! All within one month. Ngai Baba!
  9. FieldMarshal CouchP

    GEMA NATION AND OTHERS; WHO IS IT GONNA BE?

    With the impeding exit of H.E Muthamaki Uhuru Muigai wa Kenyatta from the political scene ( we expect him to completely divorce himself from politics like Mwai wa Kibaki), the GEMA Nation will not have a supreme muthamaki. Who will take the mantle in your opinion? I have two choices, which all...
  10. FieldMarshal CouchP

    BREAKING AT STATE HOUSE

    Uhuru is getting advice that if Nasa concedes, he offers Raila, Mudavadi and Kalonzo (aaaaaarrrrrrgghhh!) ministerial/gavament posts of their choice to consolidate national unity. Mudavadi could retake his former post as Finance, Kalooser Foreign Affairs and Raila Chief Minister (created by...
  11. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Stupid Conspiracists; Give It Up Guys, the Game is Up!

    Sasa after the 'hacking' allegations fell flat on their faces, Nasa conspiracists are pointing to the 'constant 11%' gap between Babuon and Uhuru as being evidence of an evil 'logarithm' within the IEBC system. Niggas please! Do you have a basic understanding of statistics and, among others...
  12. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Guka the Wizard of OZ; Mtakuja Kujua Hamjui..................

    I will award 30K to anybody who will predict the presidential outcome to the nearest decimal point. Twendeni kazi. I'll go first (I could also win because by Wednesday I won't be able to edit this post). 1. Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta: 54.3% 2. Raila Amolo Odinga: 44.7% 3. Ngamia zingine + spoiled...
  13. FieldMarshal CouchP

    I, FIELDMARSHAL, NOW DECLARE THE PRESIDENT DULY RE-ELECTED

    With humility and grace. With honour and gratitude. With thankfulness and appreciation. I thank you all who helped me keep the faith. Today I drove a round trip of 150kms to keep the promise. We shall never be cowed. We shall never be subjugated. We shall never be overwhelmed. We are...
  14. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Heartbreaking News; Captured KDF Soldier Butchered in Al Shabaab Effort to Swing Election

    C&P as obtained from http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/latest-american-canadian-detained-ahead-kenya-vote-49050995 @Deorro and your mods: No links to this atrocity should be posted here. 9:45 p.m. The al-Shabab extremist group has released a video showing the execution of a...
  15. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Breaking National Exclusive: *** Reveals Who the Deported Nasa Rigger Was

    If I was working for the mainstream media, this would have been one of the big stories tomorrow. But since I now work for ***, let me just reveal that the American deported from Kenya for trying to rig Nasa in was John Aristotle Phillips, who first came into the American limelight for trying to...
  16. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Make 30K in Three Days.............Guka's Prediction Lotto

    I will award 30K to anybody who will predict the presidential outcome to the nearest decimal point. Twendeni kazi. I'll go first (I could also win because by Wednesday I won't be able to edit this post). 1. Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta: 54.3% 2. Raila Amolo Odinga: 44.7% 3. Ngamia zingine + spoiled: 1%
  17. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How Many 'Kumamazenu' Umeskia?

    At some point you can hear Oginga Odinga saying eti "lakini mimi iko na chakula' na wanaendelea kujibizana na Unyatto. And I think Unyatto is making the more sense. He he he he he he he he! These old men were another thing altogether aki ya Ngai!
  18. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Please - PLEASE! - Reassure Me Guys. I Am an Emotional Wreck Right Now...

    I keep breaking into these night-sweats and getting nightmares usiku. Jana at around 4am nimeamka screaming my matha's name aki. Hata nikitembea I have this sad, sinking feeling that the world is about to end. You know how you used to feel when the exams were around the corner? Yeah, that...
  19. FieldMarshal CouchP

    Serre Old Man Demands: "This is What I Want @Deorro"

    This morning @Yollo wrote: "Nice piece@admin ,pea huyu fossil title ya sponsor". It put ideas in my head. I always post quality stuff. This is why my post today has the highest views and the highest number of responses (I expect this thread too to generate the highest ever number of views and...

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