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  1. captain obvious

    Miguna asks court to suspend Lufthansa and Air France landing rights in Kenya

    Says they facilitated illegal prevention of his return from Canada. Does this jaluo ever quit? The other day he was talking about incurring losses in his quest to come back to Kenya, but he still has the resources to start fights with multinational corporations. Huyu akicheza atakuwa banned na...
  2. captain obvious

    Yaani Hii Ndio Upus Hufanyika At "The" University of Nairobi?

    Kurarua wanaume mattercore....shyet!! But pia, not to blame the victim, lakini how do you live with gay rapists without feeling some awkward vibe? Mimi ndume ikiniambia sijui ati "captain obvious I like your lips", next second meno yote itakua chini. Ghaseer. Also, am I the only one who thinks...
  3. captain obvious

    MGTOW Anthem As Valentine's Day Approaches

    For immediate press release... Ladies, if we showed interest in you and you felt sweet, please keep feeling sweet. Bachelors worldwide have suspended the acquisition of new girlfriends until this useless day is over. Normal fisi operations resume on the 15th of February 2020 at 0001 hours. Thank...
  4. captain obvious

    What were these bonobos laughing about?

    Comrade ananyoroshwa na mchinku kama mtoto na bonobo zinacheka kama zile ghaseer huenda Churchill live. Disgusting.
  5. captain obvious

    The Only Reason I'm Looking Forward To Valentine's Day

    Narcos Mehico season 2 drops on Feb 13th. Kumaanisha 14th hio ndio itakuwa form, as you ghaseers struggle to please your kungurus with expensive gifts and dates. Catch up with El Padrino as he consolidates his empire. Mark your calendars putas.
  6. captain obvious

    Udaku Friday: Betty Kyallo Namaliswo Kisiasa

    Huyu mboch anasema hakuna kitu cha kuibiwa kwake :D:D:D Hii comment imenimurrrder :D:D:D
  7. captain obvious

    Lesotho's first lady to be charged with murder

    Nashindwa mbona Kenyatalk African affairs senior correspondent @Antonio Mascaro hajatuletea uhondo? Lesotho First Lady Maesaiah Thabane faces charge of murdering rival
  8. captain obvious

    That guy who was shot 7 times in Kasarani...

    ...has been discharged. Huyu jamaa ana bahati sana. Yaani he's walking (ata kama ana chuma kwa mguu) na spinal cord pia haikupatwa na rithathi? Issa mirako!! Those thugs are yet to be caught. Is it really that hard for DCI to apprehend those criminals? Heneway, huyu musito atafute paybill number...
  9. captain obvious


    Atavunja records kadhaa za yule musito mwingine this year
  10. captain obvious

    Kobe Bryant

    Hivi ndio tunakumbuka musito. RIP legend.
  11. captain obvious

    Wametoa "Documentary" Ya Kupaka Mildred Atty Matope

    Ok, I'm all for freedom of expression, but the timing of this doc seems very suspect, given the drama we witnessed a few days ago. I heard that this woman was responsible for governor Sonko's current woes, so it doesn't come as a surprise that she has enemies out there. I mean, these stories are...
  12. captain obvious

    Francis wa PS alipasulia kijana mayai siku tatu mfululizo

    Luckily it went on for 3 days. He was probably disappointed when on the fourth day he couldn't play with Francis' "joystick". First Francis then Alex? If it happens once then you're a victim. If it keeps happening then maybe you're actively encouraging that shit. Some suggestions: Wear...
  13. captain obvious

    Saudi Crown Prince Enjoys Hacking

    This boy appears to have been very busy in 2018. Other than hacking Jamal Khashoggi into many pieces (that are yet to be found), it appears he also hacked Jeff Bezos' phone. If this boy becomes king, the Saudi kingdom will collapse during his reign. He seems to be stepping on some big toes...
  14. captain obvious

    Latest Viral Business Idea: Water Vending Outlets

    Today I was taking a leisurely walk because once in a while I like to "feel the pulse of my neighborhood". At some point, I counted 3 of these water vending joints along a single street, a stretch of about 150m. They only sell water. These outlets didn't exist two months back. Now, I've...
  15. captain obvious

    Upcoming Movie About Musito Carlos Ghosn's Dramatic Escape

    It hasn't been confirmed yet, but let's be realistic...I know right now Hollywood executives are camping in Lebanon, lining up to suck his cock for the rights to his story. Hiyo sasa itaitwaje? Suggestions: Ghosn With The Wind Ghosn In 60 Seconds Ghosn Baby Ghosn Mission Impossible: Ghosn...
  16. captain obvious

    Ukiitwa Event Hii Njaanuary, Make The Best Of It

    Ukiona mwezi uko 45th day, with 30 more to go, na hujaonja nyama hii 2020 yote, lazima ujipange
  17. captain obvious

    British media's portrayal of Kate Middleton vs Meghan Markle

    British tabloids can make one commit suicide wallahi. It's either they like or hate you. Hata kama tunasema hii kunguru imekalia Harry, pia amekipatapata. I don't think it's necessarily about her race, coz these tabloids also terrorize snow-white mofos. The thing is, there are racist undertones...
  18. captain obvious

    When Bonobos Have Children Without Planning For Their Future...

    ..the kids end up suffering for their parents' lack of focus. Sasa huyu alipita mtihani 2018, akakosa fee ya high school. The solution? Repeat class 8, which he did in 2019. Akapita tena. Now it's the same story. The boy is being told to repeat class 8 for the third time. Cheki, if you're poor...
  19. captain obvious

    Another Ghaseer Builds A "Helicopter"

    Of course the thing can't fly, but our brain dead "journalists" insist on calling it a helicopter.
  20. captain obvious

    Quick Question About This Whole Suleimani Affair

    Si the guy was a Muslim? Si Muslims are supposed to be buried by sunset, as in not more than sijui 12 hours after their death? Huyu mchamaa mbona amewekwa hizo siku zote? Ama Shia Muslims' burial protocols are different from those of Sunnis? Ama ni juu alikuwa musito? Comb me about this issue...