001 Desperate Hustler

Before niingie campus Nrb kuna huyu jirani yangu, it a long untold tale, who had brought me to mwambatha kutafta kibarua angalau nisikae idle. Our system allowed us like 2yrs before we joined campus. Unfortunately the guy got an accident akipeleka gari za a certain mwarabu nrb and that was his end. I was left to survive alone in 001 nikitafuta fare ya kurudi home. It was nearing my time to join the system.
One harsh dryspell season, found me broke, tired, half dead as I staggered out of that mwarabu’s gate. I cursed the day I was born, I cursed the gods for fake lies, fake promises, fake prayers, misfortunes, joblessness etcetera.
It was on a lazy, hazy, crazy Monday and the stormy clouds cried fine but sharp drops. Hundreds stood in fives and tens murmuring in front of mwarabus gate near taifa maize mills. Mwarabu was hiring casuals to work in those maize mills behind Makupa primary. An identification card was enough to let u in. Hope u are aware how the brownies offer vibaruas to casuals. Amidst hundreds, I struggled to overcome the mnazi hangovers of the previous weekend just to hand the couth illhearted mwarabu my identification.
I felf dwarfed by the long hands crisscrossing over my head to hand them theirs. The long bearded and sharp nosed Mwarabu lifted his hands high, only to pick the ID that met his wrinkled froglike limbs. No time to collect the ID in case it slips off. Some majamaa even lifted one another on shoulders to avoid being left out. I made sure that he had grabbed mine as he approached a hundredth target. I was 97th.
Mwarabu akaleft like 20mints nikabaki na majamaa nikiwapea hekaya ya the things that be fell the son of a woman that fateful morning. Arif wangu pale Mikindani ghetto flashed my newly acquired Nokia 3310 around 5times. Quite dawn around fivethate. Thot the guys had been swept last eve pale Kwa mama fatma as they bombea bottles of mnazi, and the nigga wanted me to bail them out early before wapelekwe kortini. I switched off my phone. Kesi baadae. But oh, no…arif wanted us rush kwa mwarabu kazi. Yester eve i had left my guys kwa mama fatma nikakamue nyoka Fulani ilikuwa na deni ya slices. It was her duty to service my shaft esp on weekends. Arif came with some two guys and knocked my door pale Kwa plot ya Mwangi. Mbele ya Sunset Club Nahapo. Before Sunset ijengwe the place had a joint Called Makuti. I pretended dead asleep coz sikuwa nimechapa quickie ya morning. Ama yaitwa M G. Hizi noogle zilikuwa zasumbua that early. I heard one guy ask…
“msela walahi si twaweza ishia job na huyu ndogo an’eza kuwa katiliwa mchele pale banda za West?..” Club West was one of the booming sites where most ngeos hawked masaa ya jioni. I never showed them teeth coz hiyo tym ndio story za M-neck zilikuwa tops.
my niggas knocked harder as another one retorted…
"wee mwana, huyu ndogo kanipita jana pale steji na dadake chengo. Huenda alimfania dhuluma n’kusepa zake… mwanetu nae anaumia tu hapa… "
By that tym I thought i was dreaming only to get woken up by the bang of the niggas having brocken my door. To my surprise izo milango za Mwangi ziling’oka from the hinges. Who cared by the way???
We hurriedly prepared strungi na mahamri tupate majoles za kuchapa footshibishi hadi makupa Kwa mwarabu. I woke my little service gal to show her the new tactic to exit the house and place the door safely back at its hinges. Seremala baadae. As we neared changamwe roundabout jamaa fulani the likes of @Vin Diesel98 shouted at us where we dandiad his mammoth tipper. That found us alight at juakali. It was still drizzling. I slipped off the jigger nikaramba rami. Karibu Modern coast inipitie juu. As i crossed ile side ya Church ya Anglican ndo I remembered my beloved Nokia 3310. I touched my laps and felt no bumpy sign of a communication gadget. I Quickly shove my hand in my right pocket only to touch the cold, rained on, wrinkled msedes. I started mourning my gadget.
The hekaya was cut short by reappearance of the shiny kipara chamwarabu who came barking out names as in the ID. Ukiitwa unaingia go-down kazi. My mboys were in. Sikuskia jina langu. Shait!!! And where was my ID? I tried asking him weather he had either left my id in his office but the white idiot uttered names. I furiously fired back n left the black gate. Should I have waited longer he could have called his guys. Nipelekwe pale makupa polithi. Hii mchezo ya akina @pamba sitakangi. Or else ningetolewa kafara papo hapo live.

I made a quick search of my card near the gate only to collect it looking like it had just been chewed by those maasai zebus. Hell fire broke in my heart. I felt the flames of anger swerve past my throat. I swore by my grandmas name, never again Kwa mwarabu sitawahi tafta kijanta. I cursed that day.
Hangovers still on me, I took short strides heading towards Mombasa islands CFS. Angalau ntapatana na majamaa waniokolee kufunga number plates nipate ya kunukisha kitunguu hiyo siku. Luckily before nifike CFS nkapatana na trela ya @Meria Mata akitoka na fertilizer ya KTDA. His truck snoring like that old mucangi wa magiri’s Bedford. I think mucangi alikuwa guka wa @muria.mboco.
Hurriedly meria akanituma nimtafutie maji kibuyu ya 20litres. He handed me Kshs 100 note nikanunua the only available two pwani oil plastic jericans Kwa duka ya mswahili Hapo . Nikakimbilia maji nahapo Makande and within some few minutes, I was back. Meria akagangua truck yake akanituma maji tena. Kurudi nilipata ashaachomoka na truck nikabaki n vibuyu vyangu na maji. Nikatighten the lids. Anyway, nilicheshwo hapo but nikajiambia labda ni kisirani niko nayo tu. Some lads showed me direction alifuata. Nikachanganyikiwo. I walked slowly past Makande primary perimeter wall nikatokea pale stage ya Shimanzi. Nikifuata meria tu. The fire deep in my heart was about to explode. The charcoal in my throat glew hot red and the flames sprouted from my eyes. All I wanted was to get cash ama free ride nifike nrb then nyumbani.
I was tired…then again like a mad man was making myself extra tired ferrying water to nowhere. Thoughts telling me ama nimerogwa nizungukange na vibuyu 001… Wah…nikakalia jiwe Hapo stage…
Within no minutes some two ladies crossed the rd towards my direction…niliwaona wakitoka Kwa banda za sukuma.
1st mama; “mafuta hela ngapi mwanangu…???”
Hey…" Yana mwenyewe haya mami. Ndiye nasubiri hapa steji?"
2nd Mama; “Tuuzie nawe…takupa elfu elfu.”
The mamas were used to buying stolen mafutas and unga from waswahili stores pale Shimanzi…karibu na gate ya KPA staffs. They thought nimetoa mafuta kwa mswahili. Hiyo ukora had seen it na majamaa tukitrain futa pale shimanzi football grounds.
Haya, we negotiated the price and I parted with ksh 2800. Thanks ‘my’ new looking jerricans. Within no minutes I saw mamas cross the rd laughing. They’d conned me… I grabbed the cash na kuingia mat ya tao mbio…i waved them good bye…
On reaching Mwembe I gave the konda guy the brown note and he gave back ksh 1900 as my balance. Kisirani bahati combination…i ended up with ksh 3700…that’s how nilipata fare ya kurudi home na kuingia campus. Fare ilikuwa 1k upto Embu by then. Nikitoka Mombasa I even never told my niggas. That’s more than a decade ago.

Nice Hekaya
mwanaume uyapitia mengi …I used to drink Mnazi apo nyuma ya KTDA mshahara yangu yotee.Still thenk God kunitoa uko

On point, pole bro
Huyu jamaa matusi yake ni in born.
Unawacha tu ipite

Lugha ya hapa ni matusi, kaa wewe ni mtu wa kucatch huwezi, anything goes.
Sijui niziweke hapa?

Hehe pesa ya mwanaume hutoka mbali aisee

I will only read, it won’t hurt me

Swa kidogo imenipiga chenga kwa hizo conversation.

Mungu wa boychild hangeacha uendelee kuumia…especially after those women “conned” you!

Mengine ya mwarabu hats swes post hapa. @Meria Mata go on

Sijui niandike lugha gani

Kweli kabisa

Mnazi hukupa title Boss immediately coz wewe na utambi hamwachanangi.

The Captain is back

Buana…I’ll not kip peeping

smell do ilikua worse Kwanzaa kilalo ama kiraro

Hiyo harufu ata afadhali muratina… I hate like nonsense

Hahaa swafi kaka ulikua mombasani kweli

angalau hukuingia ganahola

Hapa 001 hakutakangi museso musee

Was lucky enaf

Pwagu kapata pwaguzi. Hekaya safi sana baba.

I can relate

Mwambatha ashana naee tu!

Pia mimi niliwahi sukumwa msa after 4th form eti kutafutiwa wera, ilibidi nimepiga hustle ya kusupply maji pale staff mikindani na nikujitoa.