1999 Toyota Corolla - Fine AF

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/6565526716-3.jpg

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let’s talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car

This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts:
This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey.
In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”

Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/6565526716.html
https://jalopnik.com/the-story-behind-one-of-the-funniest-craigslist-car-ads-1825571462

analysts wanakam

Hii ni 110?? I know someone in the leafy suburbs who has never sold his. It is his only constant car he has as he changes the flashy ones Discovery etc. Now I understand why.

:smiley:

Love the car. Toyota 98, 99, 100, 110, 111. Hazikufi. Me huziita bed bugs. You just can’t get rid of them. Na tangu nijue gari huwa zinauzwa 350k on average bila change

This car isn’t going to win any beauty contests and… :smiley:

…neither are you :D:D

even puci

[MEDIA=twitter]988763926539264000[/MEDIA]

Gari ni kama bibi wa pili. Respect her she will never let you down

Guys, stop being apologetic about the cars you drive.If it’s what you can afford, you owe no one any ferking explanation. Just fill it with fuel and drive away to your destination.

:D:D:D

:smiley: That right there is the Methuselah of automobiles.

Am actually into such cars

it’s the last real saloon car that Toyota built

Is this now known as Altis?

:smiley:

How did I miss this thread.

Btw what happened to this @Okwonkwo… ni kama hapost sikuizi.

But I concur. These toyodas, from AE90s - AE110s are virtually bulletproof. If you have one and you have upgraded usiiuze. Keep it as spare car