7 questions to ask yourself before getting married

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Hash_Tag

Village Elder
#1
Hi klisters, ; team mafisi its time to settle down. Tumechoka na story ya kulamba mchele, dry frying left right nd center, kupika , kufua and the likes. Lets settle down. Thought like minded bachelors and spinters would find this article helpful. marriage can be a matter of life and death from prenups, kids, taking that path all the way till being 6 feet under parts you.
.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

Question; Why are there so many people get divorced?

There are so many reasons that motivate people to get a divorce. Some of those reasons are: financial issues, abuse, trust problems, not being satisfied with the relationship and many more.

However did you notice that many of those reasons can be rooted to the fact that the person made the wrong selection?

In my opinion, being with the wrong person can be one of the major causes for a divorce. And when i say the wrong person i am not referring to a bad person but i am just referring to someone who is not compatible with you.
So can the divorce problem be avoided?
Yes in many cases it can be avoided if you asked yourself the right set of questions before getting married.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

1) Do i really want that person or i just need him?: Do you really want to be with that person or you are just getting into a relationship because you need to be with someone? Do you need someone to make you feel good, elevate your self esteem or help you feel loved? or do you truly love that person?

2) Is peer pressure the reason i am getting married?: Are you getting married because you love the person or are you just getting married because all of your friends are already married? When choosing a person out of peer pressure then the chance of marriage failure becomes much higher.

3) Do i really want this person or is this the best thing i could get?: Are you marrying a person because you really like them or because you believe that this is the best you can do? People who think that way usually end up feeling dissatisfied with their marriage

4) Do i have realistic expectations of the relationship?: Do you have a realistic exceptions of the post marriage life or do you just believe that marriage will be the soloution to all of your problems? If the second case is true then there is a great chance that your marriage will be
unhappy

5) Do i still like someone else?: If you still like someone else but getting married just because you can't get that person then you need to ask yourself another question. What if that person came to you right after you got married and told you that he likes you back?

6) Do i think this person is great or is it the opinion of others?: Can this person really satisfy
your needs (DFHKM) or are you choosing him because everyone is telling you that he is good for you.

7) Can i be with this person Forever?: Unlike cars or houses relationships , in many cases, last forever. Are you ready to live with that person for the rest of your life? If yes then go ahead
If you can't answer those questions right away then it's better to stop and think

So many people do the great mistake of going forward with the marriage arrangement just because they already took so many steps. Those people end up sacrificing the rest of their lives for the sake of saving some of the effort they did in few months.
Those people prefer to get stuck for the rest of their lives in order not to feel bad for a month or two if they decided to stop the marriage before it happens.
Note that i am not asking you to stop your marriage but am just asking you to think very well before taking this step for the wrong decision here can result in a great deal of suffering.
 
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#nooty

Village Elder
#2
Withdraw your statement no 5 and edit the " like " to "love" You are a senior here for God 's sake . I'm sure you can do better than this.
 

Hash_Tag

Village Elder
#3
@#nooty nop I aint editing it. I went through this article like 4 times before pushing the submit button so i clearly know what i mean. It acts both ways and it can be "like" or "love" depending on how far you've gone with him/her!!
 

spax

Village Elder
#4
" And when i say the wrong person i am not referring to a bad person but i am just referring to someone who is not compatible with you."
For this statement NAH!!! I believe marriage is about how you will deal with the incompatibility. I suggest you read through again and correct those stated errors.
 

Web Dev

Village Elder
#5
Hi klisters, ; team mafisi its time to settle down. Tumechoka na story ya kulamba mchele, dry frying left right nd center, kupika , kufua and the likes. Lets settle down. Thought like minded bachelors and spinters would find this article helpful. marriage can be a matter of life and death from prenups, kids, taking that path all the way till being 6 feet under parts you.
.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

Question; Why are there so many people get divorced?

There are so many reasons that motivate people to get a divorce. Some of those reasons are: financial issues, abuse, trust problems, not being satisfied with the relationship and many more.

However did you notice that many of those reasons can be rooted to the fact that the person made the wrong selection?

In my opinion, being with the wrong person can be one of the major causes for a divorce. And when i say the wrong person i am not referring to a bad person but i am just referring to someone who is not compatible with you.
So can the divorce problem be avoided?
Yes in many cases it can be avoided if you asked yourself the right set of questions before getting married.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

1) Do i really want that person or i just need him?: Do you really want to be with that person or you are just getting into a relationship because you need to be with someone? Do you need someone to make you feel good, elevate your self esteem or help you feel loved? or do you truly love that person?

2) Is peer pressure the reason i am getting married?: Are you getting married because you love the person or are you just getting married because all of your friends are already married? When choosing a person out of peer pressure then the chance of marriage failure becomes much higher.

3) Do i really want this person or is this the best thing i could get?: Are you marrying a person because you really like them or because you believe that this is the best you can do? People who think that way usually end up feeling dissatisfied with their marriage

4) Do i have realistic expectations of the relationship?: Do you have a realistic exceptions of the post marriage life or do you just believe that marriage will be the soloution to all of your problems? If the second case is true then there is a great chance that your marriage will be
unhappy

5) Do i still like someone else?: If you still like someone else but getting married just because you can't get that person then you need to ask yourself another question. What if that person came to you right after you got married and told you that he likes you back?

6) Do i think this person is great or is it the opinion of others?: Can this person really satisfy
your needs (DFHKM) or are you choosing him because everyone is telling you that he is good for you.

7) Can i be with this person Forever?: Unlike cars or houses relationships , in many cases, last forever. Are you ready to live with that person for the rest of your life? If yes then go ahead
If you can't answer those questions right away then it's better to stop and think

So many people do the great mistake of going forward with the marriage arrangement just because they already took so many steps. Those people end up sacrificing the rest of their lives for the sake of saving some of the effort they did in few months.
Those people prefer to get stuck for the rest of their lives in order not to feel bad for a month or two if they decided to stop the marriage before it happens.
Note that i am not asking you to stop your marriage but am just asking you to think very well before taking this step for the wrong decision here can result in a great deal of suffering.
Good luck hunting for a unicorn. Btw not @Unicorn
 

#nooty

Village Elder
#6
@#nooty nop I aint editing it. I went through this article like 4 times before pushing the submit button so i clearly know what i mean. It acts both ways and it can be "like" or "love" depending on how far you've gone with him/her!!
You may need to ask questions like why are wives more dangerous than mafias. A mafia would need your money and your life while a wife would need them ALL. This would be something to ask yourself before settling down.
 

#nooty

Village Elder
#7
A
" And when i say the wrong person i am not referring to a bad person but i am just referring to someone who is not compatible with you."
For this statement NAH!!! I believe marriage is about how you will deal with the incompatibility. I suggest you read through again and correct those stated errors.
And in that context bad may mean nasty and in as far as I am concerned nasty partners add healthy flavour in a relationship. They are very spontaneous and innovative especially in the bedroom department.
 

Hash_Tag

Village Elder
#8
@spax dealing with incompatibility takes us back to the 2nd paragpraph; divorce!!! Many couples who try and fail to deal with em end up parting ways.Thats where my 7 questions cum points come in handy. Why would u get married?
.
@Web Dev niaje bradhee kwani? Have you lost hope? In marriage? Do you believe its the highway to disaster?
.
@#nooty ni kifo tena? Then a mafia and your baby boo aint different if all they are after is your cash and your life.
 

le scumbag

Village Elder
#9
Hi klisters, ; team mafisi its time to settle down. Tumechoka na story ya kulamba mchele, dry frying left right nd center, kupika , kufua and the likes. Lets settle down. Thought like minded bachelors and spinters would find this article helpful. marriage can be a matter of life and death from prenups, kids, taking that path all the way till being 6 feet under parts you.
.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

Question; Why are there so many people get divorced?

There are so many reasons that motivate people to get a divorce. Some of those reasons are: financial issues, abuse, trust problems, not being satisfied with the relationship and many more.

However did you notice that many of those reasons can be rooted to the fact that the person made the wrong selection?

In my opinion, being with the wrong person can be one of the major causes for a divorce. And when i say the wrong person i am not referring to a bad person but i am just referring to someone who is not compatible with you.
So can the divorce problem be avoided?
Yes in many cases it can be avoided if you asked yourself the right set of questions before getting married.

7 Questions to ask yourself before getting married

1) Do i really want that person or i just need him?: Do you really want to be with that person or you are just getting into a relationship because you need to be with someone? Do you need someone to make you feel good, elevate your self esteem or help you feel loved? or do you truly love that person?

2) Is peer pressure the reason i am getting married?: Are you getting married because you love the person or are you just getting married because all of your friends are already married? When choosing a person out of peer pressure then the chance of marriage failure becomes much higher.

3) Do i really want this person or is this the best thing i could get?: Are you marrying a person because you really like them or because you believe that this is the best you can do? People who think that way usually end up feeling dissatisfied with their marriage

4) Do i have realistic expectations of the relationship?: Do you have a realistic exceptions of the post marriage life or do you just believe that marriage will be the soloution to all of your problems? If the second case is true then there is a great chance that your marriage will be
unhappy

5) Do i still like someone else?: If you still like someone else but getting married just because you can't get that person then you need to ask yourself another question. What if that person came to you right after you got married and told you that he likes you back?

6) Do i think this person is great or is it the opinion of others?: Can this person really satisfy
your needs (DFHKM) or are you choosing him because everyone is telling you that he is good for you.

7) Can i be with this person Forever?: Unlike cars or houses relationships , in many cases, last forever. Are you ready to live with that person for the rest of your life? If yes then go ahead
If you can't answer those questions right away then it's better to stop and think

So many people do the great mistake of going forward with the marriage arrangement just because they already took so many steps. Those people end up sacrificing the rest of their lives for the sake of saving some of the effort they did in few months.
Those people prefer to get stuck for the rest of their lives in order not to feel bad for a month or two if they decided to stop the marriage before it happens.
Note that i am not asking you to stop your marriage but am just asking you to think very well before taking this step for the wrong decision here can result in a great deal of suffering.

Sounds very similar to Relaltionship Tips on page 23 of the Daily Nation's Satmag.
Are you Simon Mburu? @Hash_Tag
 

Hash_Tag

Village Elder
#11
@ol monk naona skuizi una tweng iyo jinako. Sio old monk tena? Btw, am also helping you here; a few years down the line najua u'l have that urge to officially divorce your left hand kama sisi bachelors and settle down. My tips will cum in handy. Post marriage life ni sasa bibi akishatulia kwa hao. That path you're taking with her mtu mbili wewe na yeye.
.
@le scumbag zii I aint him. I cn see you take tips from mburu; meaning uv settled already if ur his follower?
.
@BigMark nop that aint true. Its your state of mind. Kama wengi wametoboa na wataendelea kutoboa kwani sisi ni wanyonge aje? We should learn from their bumps and tribulations.
 
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Hash_Tag

Village Elder
#12
But if you decide to be like the CBK Governor pia aina noma. We all have different paths to take. @ol monk swali gani? Sinimejibu cheki iyo comment yangu. I can see you're curious. Its that gene in you which wants to fill planet earth and ensure survival of mankind.
 
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baserock

Village Elder
#13
Its altogether a display of weakness.. .. Whats in a kingdom if there is no right hand heir? Settling down is for the strong in mind and not kehe-nized nigga still licking their mother's pots! Bomboklats niggaz and bitchez!!!!
 
B

Bhangi Iwe Huru

Guest
#15
1 corinthians 13:4. @Hash_Tag, if you read that and you can imagine that there are situations where you cannot apply those words or you disagree with them completely, then you are not ready for marriage. Also realize that there is no such thing as settling down. We grow through change. Settling down gives the idea that nothing will ever change again, that from that point on there will be no more hustles, no more trying. We face challenges and come out the better for having faced them, whether we beat them or they beat us. Divorce does not mean failure. Just because a man and a woman could not live together forever does not mean the years they had together were for nothing. Obama's mother and father could not make it but they still produced a great human being. Marriage just like life is not a race. For 9.58 seconds, every muscle in Usain Bolt's body will strain with desperation for the finish line because of the prize at the end. That is not marriage. At 50, 60, 70 or even 80 years, no one is going to walk up to you and give you a gold medal for marriage. All you get is the memories you create. Even the children and grand children you have will not be yours; their souls dwell in the House of Tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Marriage is not 50/50, it is not give or take not is it a compromise. It is 100%. You have to give 100% without waiting to see for the other person to give their 100%. It is give, give, give, give. Your time, your patience, your thoughts, your strength, everything that cannot be measured by scale or ruler, put away in a bank or a store, or shown off to others, you have to give. There is no compromise, at all. But, you say, what if we can't agree on what school the children should go to? WHAT THE f**k DOES IT MATTER WHAT SCHOOL THE FUCKING CHILDREN GO TO? Did your ass go to that school? No? Yet here you are a successful man or woman. Clearly which school one attends is not that essential. But the way she squeezes the toothpaste is really irritating? GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TOOTHPASTE! When you were single, did you have a crisis of not having someone to share toothpaste with?

Contrary to what preachers tell you, God does not hate divorce. No God does not sit up there seething because you hired a lawyer and went to the courts to end your marriage. God, does however hate it when you cheat on your spouse, beat her/him, treat them like a second class citizen, don't listen to her/him, nag, complain, or put him/her down, or do any of the things that would make them say, "I've had it." The part of the Bible that says, "let no man part asunder"; it's not talking about your neighbours, or your parents or brothers or sisters. IT'S TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!!! If you have given your all, done everything to make someone happy without holding back and they cannot see that, you are able to walk away without feeling any guilt, no if I could have done this or that or the other because you already did it.
 
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incognitus

Village Elder
#18
1 corinthians 13:4. @Hash_Tag, if you read that and you can imagine that there are situations where you cannot apply those words or you disagree with them completely, then you are not ready for marriage. Also realize that there is no such thing as settling down. We grow through change. Settling down gives the idea that nothing will ever change again, that from that point on there will be no more hustles, no more trying. We face challenges and come out the better for having faced them, whether we beat them or they beat us. Divorce does not mean failure. Just because a man and a woman could not live together forever does not mean the years they had together were for nothing. Obama's mother and father could not make it but they still produced a great human being. Marriage just like life is not a race. For 9.58 seconds, every muscle in Usain Bolt's body will strain with desperation for the finish line because of the prize at the end. That is not marriage. At 50, 60, 70 or even 80 years, no one is going to walk up to you and give you a gold medal for marriage. All you get is the memories you create. Even the children and grand children you have will not be yours; their souls dwell in the House of Tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Marriage is not 50/50, it is not give or take not is it a compromise. It is 100%. You have to give 100% without waiting to see for the other person to give their 100%. It is give, give, give, give. Your time, your patience, your thoughts, your strength, everything that cannot be measured by scale or ruler, put away in a bank or a store, or shown off to others, you have to give. There is no compromise, at all. But, you say, what if we can't agree on what school the children should go to? WHAT THE f**k DOES IT MATTER WHAT SCHOOL THE FUCKING CHILDREN GO TO? Did your ass go to that school? No? Yet here you are a successful man or woman. Clearly which school one attends is not that essential. But the way she squeezes the toothpaste is really irritating? GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TOOTHPASTE! When you were single, did you have a crisis of not having someone to share toothpaste with?

Contrary to what preachers tell you, God does not hate divorce. No God does not sit up there seething because you hired a lawyer and went to the courts to end your marriage. God, does however hate it when you cheat on your spouse, beat her/him, treat them like a second class citizen, don't listen to her/him, nag, complain, or put him/her down, or do any of the things that would make them say, "I've had it." The part of the Bible that says, "let no man part asunder"; it's not talking about your neighbours, or your parents or brothers or sisters. IT'S TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!!! If you have given your all, done everything to make someone happy without holding back and they cannot see that, you are able to walk away without feeling any guilt, no if I could have done this or that or the other because you already did it.
bangi iwe huru
 
#20
IT'S TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!!! If you have given your all, done everything to make someone happy without holding back and they cannot see that, you are able to walk away without feeling any guilt, no if I could have done this or that or the other because you already did it.
Jeez! Ya on point!
I think I know you from somewhere
 
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