(Long Read Warning!)
I was born and raised on the Plain Fields at the feet of the Ngong Hills.
My parents made a daily commute into Nairobi from Ndeiya for work and while some may argue that the traffic was not as bad as it is today back in the 80s, most may not know that there was just one Single Matatu on that Route. A Mitsubishi Canter owned by one Mr.Njoroge.
Mr. Njoroge was a heavy set Kikuyu man who could also speak fluent Maasai and he didn`t need to employ a Conductor as he knew everyone that boarded his Matatu. Either that or he was just too Stingy to pay a “manamba”.
This is a Tale about me,a Lukwart tree and the “Class” system in Kenya!.. (you are going off topic Son!..)
My Dad thought it was a good idea for me to join a Primary school as close to Nairobi as possible as he didnt think much of our Local Primary school. I cant blame him;every parent wants the best for their kids…
And this actually made me feel like i was “better” than my peers who attended the local school; hell,i could speak better Swahili and even the Maziwa ya Nyayo in my school came fresh in a Tetra Park unlike theirs that came “Preserved” in a Box Carton!..
It was also convinient for my Old Man because he could easily Drop me off to school on his commute to work in his Nissan Datsun 120Y. and Pick me up later in the evening on his way home.
The School was Ngong Forest Primary School.
I am not sure anymore but it was located just next to the Ngong Forest and on one side bordered the Plush Neighborhood that is Karen while Not to far off was Lenana. A less than "up and coming " neighborhood if compared to Karen.
My school was a mix of kids from All the neighboring Estates so you had one kid whose father worked for the Mzungu, another kid whose dad had actually made it and could afford to live in Karen. But on the whole; the majority of the students were from Lenana ,Dagoretti Corner, and as far as Kuwinda ; a small settlement on the other side of Karen which was a host to all the people who worked for the “Karen Residents” - mostly Wazungus but with a sprinkling of the Odd African Politician and a few wealthy Anonymous Black Kenyans.
Ngong Forest Primary was not a high perfoming school back then and it shouldnt have taken a few officials from the Ministry of Education to figure out that the Morale was low in thiis school. I remember hearing the Kids from St.Marys Karen Primary (our neighboring school ) always sing this when they saw us in the bus and at inter-schools activities…
Ngong Forest -In; ,Watoto Chokoraa…
Waalimu wataliii…
Head Master GITONO! (Grasshopper)
It took me years of growing up to understand that what this kids were insinuating was that we were just chokoraas in a school where the teachers were tourists,and the Head master had basically shagged all the Female teachers!..
The Lukwart Tree
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Curiousity and long evenings waiting for my dad to pick me up from school on his way from Nairobi always left me plenty of time in the evenings,mostly alone but often in the company of kids from the neighboring Kuwinda and Lenana.
We would explore the neighboring Karen just to see how the “wazungus” lived and sometimes we would jump over their fences for a bit of “exploring” their sprawling gardens which would always have something for the picking!-The odd abandoned bikes,toys etc… There was always something to be had for the bravest among us who would dare scale the fence and see what was lying around on the other side of the fence.
Me; I just wanted to help the Wazungus do abit of “Harvesting!”…
There was Apple trees,mango trees,orange trees and all other Fruit trees you could imagine and all the fruits looked to me like they needed to be harvested!
And every so often,the Fruit of my choice would come to season. The Lukwart bearing tree.
How could any normal person Not want to eat that fruit?How could a mzungu let the birds eat all the yellow juicy fruits?.. “What kind of People are these?..” I wondered to myself as i scaled that fence that evening for a Harvest. Or as “Peter wa Maluku” -the watchman would later refer to it ; - Raiding the Farm!
We called him Peter wa Ma-luku (lukwarts) because he was the only watchman who came in our way everytime we went for a harvest and he was even known to release the German Shepherd dogs on us in his bid to protect “mali ya Tachiri” -Stupid twat!
There was 6 of us and as fate would have it,as soon as we got “onboard” the yellowest looking tree , we heard the rowdy and violent Barking of Dogs!.. Peter wa- Ma- Luku had got us!..
There was no escaping now and the wisest thing to do as the 8 or 9 blood-thirsty hounds barked and foamed at the mouth looking up on us as we scaled the large tree,was to hold on tight lest you fall and become Dinner for the Hounds!
Mulamba was a Bukusu and he tried to negotiate with Peter wa ma-luku in Luhyia in a bid to letting us off as a Last Warning but Peter wa ma-luku was hearing none of it.
He told us that “msungu tachiri” was on his way with the police and that there was nothing he could do to help us.
The mzungu was fed up of us raiding his Orchard and for all the missing stuff in his compound and we were basically DONE!
As time passed,i knew this fucker was actually not joking and while i held on tight to the strongest branch on the tree,i wondered what my dad would do to me after he discovered what i had been up to.
He must have been looking everywhere for me and at this stage the sun is going down faster and faster.
I even longed for that time when the Mzungu would arrive to set us free…
True to his word,the Mzungu arrived with Police in tow and when the police ordered as down and reversed the Blue landrover,i knew this was now Serious…
When you are 11 years old,the only thing you can do when you are “caught” is CRY!
We were all Crying helplessly as we were thrown into the back of the Landrover with our pockets fully stuffed full of ripe yellow Lukwarts!..
First stop. School.
Nobody at school because it is too late but at the corner of my eye at the main entrance is a Nissan Datsun 120y with my dad in it and looking relieved just to see anybody around!
At this stage i yelled out in fear and told the cops that that was my dad.
As the cop approached him to explain the situation, i thought the end was near but how wrong could i have been? My dad actually asked to talk to me of which the cop refused but in anger,he reached out to me inside the Landrover,pulled my cheek and gave me a hot quick slap!
Next stop.
Karen Police Station.
I didn`t have a clue about the workings of the justice system in Kenya but i knew that the Mzungu was looking to have us all charged and taken to prison as he exchanged words at the Booking counter hapo police station.
We were too young to be charged and i remember that cop assuring him that he need not worry about any more raids on his home that we would be Punished.
And Punished we were!
The Next morning we were paraded in front of Assembly with the OCS Karen Division present and a few strong words were spoken by the Chief,Headman and other Officials about the importance of not raiding orchards in the neighborhood.
My dad “sorted” things out with the cops and he gave me a thoruogh Kichapo when he took me home.
He also transferred me from Ngong Forest Primary but he saw to it that me and my Lukwart thieving Crew served our Punishment.
We cleaned the Police Station every evening for the Rest of the term.
The silver lining on this cloud is that the Mzungu whose farm we had raided always donated his fruit to the students every year after that.
And that is the Story of the Kenya we live in.
Where some people have so much they don`t know what to do with it; Yet some have to Rob,steal and Beg… Just to Survive!
Ni Hayo Tu!..