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  1. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    I have a very sensitive situation at hand. It is usually very difficult mixing relatives and money issues. I have a close relative who is married. The family is not well off financially. I used to assist her with some cash when I started earning, but it soon became a habit. She expected me to give her cash often, as if it was my responsibility. Nonetheless, I helped when I could. About a year ago, I started a business for her, stocked it, paid rent for six months to give her a sufficient grace period for it to pick. Basically, I catered for everything and the business was located in a busy bus stop so there is huge flow of customers. I did this because I knew that she would soon start paying school fees for her girl who is due to join secondary school this year. Basically, I wanted her to be on her feet before this year. Yesterday she called me crying and begging for school fees. Considering that she has a husband, who is a chang'aa type addict, I decided enough was enough and told her to ask her husband to look for school fees because it is his job, not mine. How would you deal with such a case, considering that it is a close relative, and her husband doesnt seem to step up and do his obligations? I have tried the best I can, and it has come to a time when I have to tell her to learn how to make her husband responsible, because I cant perform the responsibilities her husband should be doing.
     
    ladyp and AMB_Sunday like this.
  2. kasaman

    kasaman Village Elder

    You did pay all along..Why not in secondary school ?
     
    ladyp, grandpa and Saka like this.
  3. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    Because I feel that I cant help her all her life. Her husband needs to step up.
     
    Riddim, daddy kool, Ice_Cube and 4 others like this.
  4. Randy

    Randy Village Elder

    if the kid is smart do the needful if you are in a position to do so.good deeds will always payback tenfold.
     
    ladyp and Swansea like this.
  5. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    What about her husband? Should he just go free drinking in chang'aa dens because he does not have a financial burden (school fees)? I tried my best to make her situation better...I even launched a business for her. Unfortunately, she seems to have married an irresponsible and lazy husband.
     
    Ice_Cube and grandpa like this.
  6. kasaman

    kasaman Village Elder

    Pay the fee and give a warning to the parents .You will not pay in May
     
  7. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    I already told her last year that she should save for january school fees....I repeated this to her for the whole of last year on all social functions where we met.
     
  8. loonkishu

    loonkishu Village Elder

    Just marry her and do all the responsibility. From what iam reading and your response it seems you already have a solution to your problem.
     
  9. Randy

    Randy Village Elder


    am assuming this is your sister we are talking about?
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
    Fr. Lingwangwa likes this.
  10. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    I cant marry my relative....please post sober comments
     
  11. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    A close cousin
     
  12. john_doe

    john_doe Village Elder

    Kwani biz ilienda aje?
     
    Nattydread likes this.
  13. loonkishu

    loonkishu Village Elder

    Hahaha now you see a close cousin.
     
  14. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    Ni kama walikula yote ikaisha. Last time I checked the shop was almost empty. There was no stock and no money to show for it. I think she shoulders all the financial responsibilities of the family as the husband blows all his cash on alcohol.
     
    AMB_Sunday likes this.
  15. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    Where I come from, we dont marry our cousins mate
     
  16. Randy

    Randy Village Elder

    How did you get in this arrangement in the first place?
     
  17. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    This is not an arrangement. She simply started borrowing money when I started earning...since she was desperate and I knew it I assisted where I could. Because she is a relative and we grew up together, I view her like a sister and I decided to open a business for her so that she can get an income. Unfortunately, it is as if she is the breadwinner in that family because the husband doesnt really care about them.
     
  18. gashwin

    gashwin Village Sponsor

    mwambie you are ready to assist her one final time but lazima awe tayari kufunga mizigo ahamie tarakea where the deadbeat husband will not find her. kama ni muti atapata ingine mbele....
     
  19. Voltron

    Voltron Villager

    I will not provide any financial help to her again...so that she can be forced to either leave the deadbeat man, or figure out how to make him responsible for his family. She cannot make a choice unless she is desperate enough to see the effect of having a deadbeat husband in the house.
     
  20. Zee

    Zee Village Elder

    waambie punda amechoka
     
    Riddim, ladyp, Some Say and 1 other person like this.