Afternoon Rant:The Pain of Having Wankers for friends

magreb

Monocotyledon Combuster
#1
Marafiki ni wazuri lakini kuna marafiki ambao you can do without. Wankers are the worst type of friends you can be cursed with. I am not talking of team bajaj. There is a different type of wankers. Narcissists if you like. Jamaa anakuja kwako kidogo kidogo anaanza kufananisha vitu zako na zake. you lend this niggar your car for some errands, he comes back with stories of how inefficient or slow the car was. na saa hio hana yake.
I once had such kind of a friend. niggar would talk big as if he was capable of moving mountains. Ikifika time ya action, anaingia mitini. You ask the ninja about something as simple as a nice gadget in his possesion and where you can get one from. baadala akujibu anaanza ohh! this is the best, ooh it is very expensive, ooh ni ya ng'ambo. Fanya makosa umwombe kitu. Estate muzima itajua hio maneno vile alikusaidia.
One incident broke the camel's back. Ninja had a fairly expensive car (Mercedes E200) that he could barely afford to maintain(flossing manenos) hence a state of disrepair. As such, the car was so unreliable that it could only be driven around town since it could seize at any moment. Halafu ujinga jamaa ameweka ngoma kama ile ya matatu. You don't want to go on safari with such a car. At that time, i used to own an old subaru but otherwise well maintained since i used to drive it myself and rarely lent it out to friends. despite this, my ninja would remind me of the superiotity of his car over mine. Sasa ikatokea safari ya kwenda somewhere in Rift Valley. Jamaa akaenda garage kujaribu gari ifanyiwe ukarabati ikakata. In fact the road side mechanic messed it up further gari ikakua na misfire ingine kubwa sana. At his wits end, he had to humble himself akakuja kuomba mkebe yangu. mimi nikampa tuu. Wacha ile siku jamaa alirudi. Conveniently forgetting ile shimo nilimtoa, ninja started bitching at me vile gari yangu ni mzee, haina ngoma wazimu, ooh sijui kule alikuwa yeye ndio alikuwa mkulima mdogo na subaru. I just politely asked him to give me back my mkebe na aendele na Mercedes yake. Mpaka wa leo, hio gari yake haijawahi toka kwa mawe.
 
M

Miss Finest Wine

Guest
#19
I understand your predicament but we should both agree on one thing. That what you both have in common is that mko na umama mob.
Both are doing what we call 'my jigmathing is bigger than your jigmathing' which you are damn right should be left to wamama wa chama. The competition I see in women nikicome home...maajabu ya firauni. It starts with where you take your kids to school, where you live, where you hang out on Sundays after church, which salon unaenda, what you drive....
Not really manly at all.
 

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