Allow Me To Introduce Myself

From the Pishori Rice Fields of Mwea, in Her Excellency Anne Waiguru’s County, allow me to introduce myself.

I love Jack Bauer so much that I have stolen and continue to use his passport size photograph on most of my online presence.

It is also such a profound pity that he is currently locked up in a Russian Gulag for almost shooting the Russian President in Season Ten. However, that is a story for another thread.

I am old. I will be fifty years of age in October this year. Children in the villages where I reside call me Guka.

I am an old system “Advanced” level dropout with a fetish for correct grammar on account of an English Teacher I had a bad crush upon while I was young.

I am not a registered voter. No one has excited me enough, as His Excellency Emillio Mwai Kibaki did, for me to register to vote for him or her.

2022 might be different. I am beginning to have a healthy respect for Hon. Bill Ruto and I might register to vote for him. However, 2022 is a long way away.

I am a freelance copywriter by profession but I had a stint as an employee at Fountain Enterprises Programme - FEP among several other employment opportunities.

I am a senior bachelor, single and unattached with no children and do not intend to have any.

I am also a member at Wazua, a place where you go if you want to invest money you have made.

KenyaTalk, in my opinion is an excellent place to make money. That is the sole reason why I am here.

Let the conversations begin.

Bro, you are far too refined for this kijiji. This place is for the rugged , base, brutal, chaotic, psychotic and barbaric ruffians who made their money before they attained majority age. You would well be advised to hawk you wares in Mukuru kwa Zukabaga or Kilimani mum’s. Either way, personally I don’t particularly give a flying fa$k. Kapish…

plug or socket?

Are you now doubting the gentleman’s socket…hehehe…

hapana Wakini. nampa some of the treatment wanapatiaga newbies huko kwao.

NV punguza pressure…

Eti NV?

@FieldMarshal CouchP acha kusumbua

No one gives a rat’s ass .I might as well have been a 75 year voodoo high priest of a small village in fiji. Quit the formalities and get cracking na ungojee kiti ,we seem to have run out of them lately.It’s a jungle out here

badala jamaa aandike hekaya…

My, my, my. This is going to be much more fun than I thought.

Plug actually.

I will be back shortly.

[ATTACH=full]171618[/ATTACH]
Guka ni kuchungulia tu
cc @pamba

Sasa unataka aje

Wewe ni yule jamaa ulikuwa unafukuza freshers kwa kile kijiji kingine cha Wazua? :slight_smile:

Umbwa mzee rudi wazua

:smiley:

As the old cliche goes, been there, done that.

On the contrary, I think I will stick around.

And as dogs are bound to do, you will “smell me” and I will “smell you” then we shall see how it goes.

Bite me.