An Almost

Am home early, with nothing to do. So I thought, WWUDo, or better still, who best to share my nothing time. The answer was regrettably, Ktalk. So gather up, geezers and greenhorns, round about my feet, and lend me your ears. Am not Known to know much else, so, let me wltell you about coomer bearers.
Every so often, you will come across a girl that is An Almost. An Almost is a girl who is a perfect 9, or 8, maybe a 7, but a single feature throws the proverbial spanner in the works. This kind of a Girl, An Almost, is very hard to deal with. It’s best to deal in her, and move on.
You will find a girl with a perfect ass, angelic face, a crevage to drool on, and the perfect hair. You sermon all your courage , throw your lot in, and say hi. She opens her mouth, and voila, she displays a set of very uneven teeth that tell of a resident rat that gnaws at them daily. You stand there, awe struck, wondering whether she was weaned on raw iron ore, coz her teeth look so corroded and eaten.
Months later, when you have regained your mojo from that traumatic teeth episode, you meet a girl who is a 9, but, has flat feet. Meaning, she can’t stand still lest she tips over, and when she walks, her feet slaps the floor like tap dancer.
St the bank you meet a perfect 8, but she makes pig noises when laughing. Another perfect 9 will narate her life story to you in a restaurant with her mouth full. Still another perfect 7 asks for Tusker baridi at the bar. Yet another perfect 8 insults a makanga like what is this.
This ladies, it’s best to just walk away from. Any prolonged tenure with them will cost you heavily in Street cred. Cast your lot with A Certain. A Certain is a girl whose scale is best agreed by any four men present. A Certain 3, or A certain 2, however hedious she may look, is worlds better than An Almost 9. That’s my bit.

:D:D:D

K

Kodoo wewe brary bure kAbisa. @introvert , njoo hapa uone your disciples

Iongezwe kwa lexicon

:D:D:D
Samehea yeye.
Very nice piece here.

wtf :D:D

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

My worst of such encounters was a 9 that later turned to be a feminist lesbian. To top the cake with icing, she had a heavy Kikuyu accent.
The cognitive dissonance was too much for me to handle!

Oya Clawmatsu, you write well, but shukuru Mungu niko Brussels mahali Osungu.dll ya ‘crevage’ is not legal tender.
Saitan.

Kuna ingine na ilimaliza 4th form last year lakini ni kama hatambui toothpaste…mdomo inanuka kama burst sewer…huyo nitanyandua doggy alafu niLaunch yeye na teke la tako aLaunch na trajectory kama ya RPG hadi Siberia…Meffi yeye

:D:D:D:D, good as always.
Nikiwa kijana I knew an almost. Flaw yake ilikuwa vodka. She once drank 750ml & 250ml smirnoff red almost single handedly.

Wewe ulituambia kwaheri kumbe it was for the duration of the flight

:D:D:D:D

Huko ndio utapata the MOAS…Mother of all stench :D:D…

:smiley: Wacha hizo shimo mbaya ni la nyoka

:D:D:D:D:D:D

Sounds like someone I know…

Umbwa

:D:D:D
I didn’t know my password can work on a laptop in Brussels until I asked someone on the train.