nimeland hapa late.i can relate,i was like your brother.....it started after a certain lecturer decided i must have done all cats to pass not withstanding the finall exam score.i didnt have one cat.
to me it was a small matter,i had passed anyway,but that decision broke everything.
things that triggered me to be rough or abuse drugs:
1)academic excellence is all i had known,while people could count their gifts,i hoped after graduation i will do whatever i had studied and gradually learn other skills that might intrest me.failling here meant i had nothing else to live for.
2)my family,friends,everyone who knew me...i felt they had build their relationships with me purely based on my intelligence.failling confused me,i didnt know or no one knew how to relate with me.i felt like the last man on earth.
3)all my efforts had come to nothing,i was blamed but i wondered,why?everyone was hard on me yet i had seen others allowed room to fail and still try again.
4)punishment.i reasoned with that lecturer aniekee 0 but he refused.
5)here in kenya if you excell academically then face some challenges and temporarily appear doomed,everyone laughs at you,you suddenly realise you were a marked man,it becomes harder when most people you have to deal with either were on the lower side compared to you,or if you were in the same category,you are viewed as a failure.either way,you feel alone.
i could go on and on...but i used drugs to cope,things that triggered me to show some violence or aggresiveness:
1)branding me a failure
2)anything that i could interpret as madharau for my situation triggered me
3)lack of understanding that i tried my best,it is the only time am failling.i have never failed
5)seeing i couldnt do any other thing,i had invested myself in that degree.i felt it was a scam to work hard,fail once n the whole world turn upside down yet everyone else had enough room to fail,use some drugs and still get to the end.
how did i manage?
taking more drugs.but as talkers have explained,you get worse and worse
my mother contacted the school(i had refused to play along the school rules of doing the paper again so as to graduate at a later time,i find it hard to adjust to new environments/people,my friends graduating as i wait for another group made my head spin).my refusals had also made lots of time pass.
a way to salvage my situation was found,i had to chose among available options when i could so that paper again.
my environment was also changed,i went to live with one of my understanding cousins.he works and is succesful but he also drinks,but responsibly.looking back,it made me learn moderation and gradually cease drugs.while there i used to work at some place,it was one of those places things are not too strict.
the biggest thing if i look back,was the day my mother said to me,'it doesnt matter how long it takes,or how much more she and my dad will have to spend'
so take the initiative,salvage the situation at school such that the guy will do that unit at a later time.
then change his environment,take him.hook him a job around where you are,then tell him awachane na other drugs,pombe mtakua mnahang naye after work and take kiasi(this is to help him withdraw)assure him also he has done well,you all inderstand him,will help him fix things.
atleast that is how in a nutshell things worked for me.