It was one of those lazy Saturday afternoons when one is plotless and bila psyche. I was in my crib (bedsitter) flipping through channels on my new Startimes decoder. Kidogo kidogo, I heard a knock on my door. I hesitated. I was not in the mood to entertain anyone. The knocking persisted and I could hear giggling. I instantly knew who was knocking. It was my neighbour Jackie. Jackie was the kimbele mbele type of chic who happened to be in my situation i.e. usually broke and in a not-so-permanent job. Many a time I’d loan her cash which she never repaid but I never followed up since I regularly got free meals at her place. She was a good sport though and there was never a dull moment when Jackie was around. I opened the door for her to come in.
And alas, she was not alone. She was accompanied by this naive-looking but fine ass mama. Ma introductions zikaanza; " Sasa KK? Mbona unakataa kutufungulia?" “Na mbona hata curtain hujafungua? Kwani unawatch porno?!” I swear this chic had a loose nut. Mimi nani. Sikuwa nataka kuchoma picha day one. “Hapana. Nilikuwa nimedoze. Hata nyinyi ndio mmeniamsha.” I turned my gaze towards her friend, “Achana na huyu amechizi (referring to Jackie). “Naitwa KK.” “Unaitwa?” She told me her name was Angie. I asked them to have a seat as I poured them juice. Angie sat on my bed while Jackie made herself comfortable on my 2-seater. Small talk ensued. I gathered they were in college together and that she worked at one of the 5-star hotels as an accounts clerk. She had come to look for a house in our hood. Sasa mimi kuskia yeye anafanya kazi kwa hoteli Fisi mode ikakuwa activated. Anyone who has interacted with people who work in the hospitality industry will tell you that most (esp. chics) are very liberal. After 30 minutes of banter the two decided to leave so as to embark on their house hunt. I gave them contacts of two guys who were property agents and also gave them tips on where to look. They left and I went on bumming indoors.
Later that evening at around 7:00 pm, I got a text from Jackie. ‘‘KK si ukuje nikupromote supper. Na kama uko na mzinga unaeza beba’’ I immediately figured out that Angie was still around since Jackie was no fan of hard liquor. My whole body became alert. A small bulge started showing through my boxers. It hit me that I hadn’t showered the entire day and since there was no time I chapad a passport mbio mbio, got dressed and brushed my teeth. I also ‘withdrew’ 2 packets of Trust Condoms (Maisha iko sawa na Trust:D) from my stash in case this was to become my lucky night. I did not have any drink in my house so I passed by the local wines and spirits and bought one 750 ml bottle of Viceroy brandy.
(I only had 5k on me which was meant to last me the remainder of the month-1.5weeks- but I spent 1,300 on this endeavour ndio nisikae ovyo #UjingaNi).
I got to Jackie’s place and found the two seemingly having a good time. I was no stranger to Jackie’s crib and sat strategically next to Angie on Jackie’s bed and was offered ugali and a very generous serving of chicken Hiyo kuku ilikuwa delicious kuruka na niliirarua haraka kama mtu wa mjengo and within no time I was done. After the meal, I helped pour the brandy into the two available tumblers while I took mine in a mug. Jackie had already bought a 2L Coke bottle the contents of which we used as a mixer . I then hooked up my phone to Jackie’s woofer and we blasted songs from a playlist I had created specifically for these sort of shindigs. I engaged Angie most of the time as Jackie typed away on her mobile. This was turning out to be a good night!
As we were sipping our drinks and making merry, Angie received a call on her mobile. She stepped out to receive the call and Jackie immediately turned into her usual normal self. “Skiza KK. Huyu dame beshte yangu nataka umkeep company hapa kwangu.” “Mi nataka kuduck juu Mike (her sponsor/boyfriend) ameniita K1 na staki kubebana na Angie.” I sensed she was afraid of competition from her hotter friend. “Nitarudi saa nane hivi so pliiiizzz we mbambe na uhakikishe ako sawa.” I received this new piece of information with excitement and even made an imaginary salute to Mike for making this all happen. I promised to do my best to entertain Angie. Shortly afterwards Angie came back and Jackie broke the news that she would be leaving to meet up with her boyfriend. Angie did not seem upset or perturbed that her host would be leaving her. If anything, she seemed happy. It was probably the alcohol though, I thought to myself. Jackie picked a very revealing outfit and rushed to my crib to get dressed (#BedsitterManenos). After dressing up, she came back and called the local cab guy to pick her. As she waited for the cab guy to arrive, she gulped what remained of her brandy. She had lied to her sponsor that she was out partying with friends so the alcohol breath was meant to be proof. Smart girl this one.
After Jackie’s departure, the night really began. I quickly realized I had misjudged Angie . On face value she… (to be continued. )
Boss hii TBC imecome speedi kushinda vile utacum ukipewa na hizi kunguru za njiani, Ungengoja hio mboga ingine at least ifike K1 na ikupigie imefika… Meffi sana
-it was one lazy saturday afternoon
-jackie came along with angie in[COLOR=rgb(84, 172, 210)] kana kega’s single room
-7.00pm kk got a text msg from jacky aende kupromotiwa supper
-kk chapad passport mbio mbio instead of kuoga blaming it on time
-kk made an imaginary salute to mike.