This is what you do if you are man with your own money;
Pay a hot woman to do all those things when she is in the house and make sure you defend the woman you are paying for those chores. Then walk out to go f**k her knowing - she will never disrespect you again.
Thats a fake note. Its clearly written by two different people. Somebody took a womans diary and added notes to her points. Just look at the M in Melvin and the M in PUM PUM. They are visibly different.
Also the M in COMPLETE is different from that in PUM PUM.
Huwa mmedanganyika sana that 'pum pum' is something so mysterious and sooooo valuable that you need to jump through hoops, sell livestock, cross croc infested rivers, and do all manner of mind numbing bullshit etc. to "unlock".