Beyond stories of Giants: The Real Potential of KTalkers, and an Opportunity for Greatness

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The_Atheist

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Yes Yes.

I hope you answered “yah yah”. Where I come from, “Yes” is a fully-qualified form of greetings, and “Yah” is equally qualified as a response. So, msichangae naongea ruga gani.

I have been away and about looking for unga for my josto-handler and my josto byproducts, and unfortunately, I haven’t kept my promise to finish the Corinthian Series, plus another story I wanted to beat you regarding my encounter with a T9. Am not talking of the rabid dogs that once invaded the village where FieldMarshal CouchP was born and brought up. Neither am I talking of the T9 mode of predictive text input. I am talking of ladies with red eyes, sharp protruding teeth and, a protruding snout that resembles a wolf. I met one the other day, and the things she showed me would only fit in a series. Plus another one I wanted to beat you about how my skinny misbotch arranged for a threesome with the neighbour's XXXXXXL misbotch. Well, that will not happen soon coz the VIP, where my stories of giants and ogres fit, has vanished. Hopefully, it shall return before Jesus comes back for his sheeple.

While I was away, I heard that the Boko Haramia released the 234 girls kidnapped last year, and unfortunately, 214 of them are visibly pregnant, meaning they have broken legs. Well, I looked at that as good news. Because one, the blessings of God are upon then as promised to Abraham when he was told to count starts, and secondly, the girls were rescued alive. I read that everyone is sad that they are pregnant. What do you expect to happen when a real man (yes, book harams are real men- tough, energetic, determined) dangle their jostos inside the little girls’ pussies every evening after a hard day’s job, for a whole year? Nature requires that they fall pregnant. The ones who are not pregnant should actually be investigated and treated for infertility. A big question, and what is saddening most of you, is, what next for the girls? Well, you don’t have to look far. God knows every problem or situation we are likely to face under the sun, and has provided perfet answers in his word. Just grab your Holy Bible and read with me Deuteronomy 22:28–29. The number of feet (namba cia maguru-ini) is 327:

28 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found,
29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days."

The Lord commands that the warriors take those girls and keep them as their wives. All they have to do is pay fifty shekels, in this case 50 Naira, to the girls’ parents (or where they killed the parents, pay the government) and take the girls as their wives. Problem solved the Godly way.

Stories of giants and boko haram aside, let us explore the real value of Talkers. I am impressed by the diversity of thought and talents exhibited by the contributors of this forum. Starting with the entrepreneurs like old mangi and fellow admeans. To the humor of @mabenda4 (whom, am told, has resigned), not forgetting the witty analysis by @karl marx, and the cartoons by some guy I can’t remember. And @Ka-Buda and his mis-adventures in life. And the solutions to kaswende by our very own village apothecary @Luther12. Is there a way we can use this diversity of talent for the benefit of Talkers and the society in general? Well, there are several things we can do.

Something like publishing a magazine- yes, a real magazine, where our talkers are the contributors. We design it here, I tell stories of giant, our Daktari advises on a health topic, Ka-buda writes on how not to live life, @Meria Mata advises on motoring and FTA chieth, @Ingia writes on how to suvive after prison, @msalame grace poses for the nudes section, @aviator hustles to get adverts on the magazine, @pamba does the marketing, @Mundu Mulosi guards our store, etc. All this as a side hustle. I am sure that such a magazine would appeal to the general society, and can sell at 250 bob. We make it a monthly affair. We sell, We get money.

Alternatively, what if we Talkers set up our own pub in CBD, and call it The Talking Point, complete with holes and beds SJ style? Instead of taking dogogio at SJ or Kericho, we be taking the beer there with our friends? And with the busty @Unicorn and @Supu don as madams of the ferking section? Just count how many beers and ferks talkers take in Nairobi on a daily basis, and imagine we are the ones pocketing that money! For the nondrinkers, you will still get profit from your investment in the pub.

Or, we could produce a TV talk show and start debating the first constitution of Men. Am thinking of something in the line of “Man Laws”, but we could occasionally include women. We can have topics like “Is it ok to DF a lady HKM” and the panel would have guys like @uwesmake (for a physcopath’s point of view), @Luther12 (for a health view point), @Purr_27 (first-hand experience), @ol monk (for a worm’s eye-view of the subject), @karl marx (to tell us what the poem of Man God says about the topic) and the fearless @The-Atheist as the speaker cum moderator. We make the program explicit and source for KBL or Keroche as the sponsors. We shoot the program at various local joints on Wednesday evening (live recording as we chat and take free beer courtesy of the sponsor), then we run the program on KTN when NTV are doing Churchill, tuone nani watashinda.

Anyway, ideas ni mob. What sayest ye talkers?
 
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