Birthday MILF #TBT

Wadau,

It’s yet another hekaya time. Na leo, there’s no ati sijui part 2, 3…Hii ya leo inaisha hapa hapa. Kwa hivyo watu wa Aramis kuweni tayari.

This time we are taking it #TBT. The year is 2005 and had just cleared campo. Those were the days of NARC government and the Baks had just come to power like two years earlier. Things were looking up for Kenya and to be fair the Baks brought about many reforms which enabled the economy to pick up. However, the effects of the disaster that was KANU’s 24 years were slow to shake off.

Anyhoo, for me things were kidogo thick. A nigga didn’t have any chums. Maisha was one big struggle. Now, don’t get me wrong. I was still staying at home hapo Dagoretti, so I had a roof over my head and food on the table. Lakini boss, a fully grown man’s pride takes a hit when you have to ask your old lady for chums even to buy cigarettes (I still used to gaff those days) I applied for jobbos,scholarships lakini wapi! Nothing doing.

Nikaona hapana. Mwanaume ni effort baana. So I started ma side hustles hapa na pale…Nothing illegal, you see…just burning movies, music, sales jobbos on commission, nininini I did it all…Bottomline is atleast at the end of the month I had some kidogo chums in my pocket and I even helped around home with bills, etc. I could now even afford to peleka Naomi my ka girlfriend of those days (I called her “Naomi Campbell”) to classy joints…Buffet Park, Choices pale Baricho Road, Tropez kule tao…dinners pale Junction…My clad game was on point…wacha tuu. Simple pleasures for a simple man.

Now, kitu April like this, my big break came about. My maternal Aunt used to work in Coasto for some international NGO dealing with issues of maternal health. She called my mum and told her about an opening for a research assistant on contract basis, and was I interested? The salo was based on the number of field trips undertaken plus a monthly stipend. Because my Aunt was in charge of the whole Coasto region, there would be plenty of travelling and I was looking at kitu 80K per month, plus I would be staying at their digs. Are you f*cking kidding me? I jumped at the offer. This was like 4 times the chums I was getting from my side hustles. Yaani, if I landed this gig, I was escaping poverty kapsaaaaa.

So now, si mimi huyo. I packed my stuff, wekelead my chile a ka last stroke and I was on my way. Enyewe my stroke game was on point cuz si the squeeze cried a good one. Lakini I didn’t blame her. Those days I was LL Cool G, yaani Ladies Love Cool Gabz. Hehehe “Yaani Gabz you can leave me like this, aki I’ll really miss you” she sobbed. “Don’t worry sweery, I’ll make sure I visit often, and anyway it’s a good excuse for you to come Coasto and visit” I assured her.

Wapi! Ndani I was like…

https://kenyatalk.s3.amazonaws.com/2018/06/242084_5a7e40e3531387d6e3ac1a7aacfe50a4.jpg

Out of sight, out of mind. I was going crazy just thinking of that 80 ngwanyaz salo and all those Coasto mamas and the mad fun I would have. Those days we used to go by bus called Busscar (I don’t know if they still operate) so sisi hao, it was a night bus and I fikad Coasto kitu 9:00am asubuhi. My Aunt had come to pick me up at the stage. As we drove to their digs pale Buxton, she briefed me on what the assignment entailed. Basically, I would be part of a team of research assistants who would be conducting a baseline survey on maternal health. The contract was for three months with possibility of extension if we did a good job and there was donor funding. We fikad Buxton and it was great meeting my cousin Nyawira who I hadn’t met in a long while. My Aunt was a widow and my two other cuzos were working in the US and this one was the last born. We chapad mad storo as we caught up. The other occupant of the digs was the mboch who was an older Digo lady who would travel to see her kids in the village every weekend. It was a three bedroom digs, so I had a room to myselfu. Sasa basi si I settled in, nininini… After two weeks training, I started jobbo. It was really tiring cuz it involved a lot of travelling. Man, there’s no corner of Coasto I didn’t fika. Msambweni, Siyu Port, Hindi, Kikambala, Witu, Mpeketoni aka Mpex, Ukunda…you name it. Our jobbo was basically collecting data via questionnaires, focus groups, na kadhalika. Our team was assigned a van, a driver, two research supervisors, 4 research assistants and a liaison officer from the Ministry of Health. We basically lived on the road and it was challenging work but also really fun. Unfortunately, the only females in the group were the officer from MoH and one of the research supervisors. But goddamn, they were these motherly matronly looking types so nikajua baas! hapo hakuna “zero grazing” ni kukauka tuu.

https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/mjcry1.png

By this time, we had slowly drifted apart with Naomi, my girlfriend in Nairobi. The job was hectic and most of the time when I arrived back in the hotel after a long day, I was too exhausted to even think straight. At first, it was calls everyday, then kidogo like this it was a call every other day. Then texts now and then. After some time we had completely drifted apart. Whenever I called we just argued. Eventually we just mutually called it off. I was Mr. dry spell mwenyewe. So, what I did was I waited till we took our breaks from the road trips after every two weeks and returned to Mombasa for debrief. Man, si I balled! Pale Bob’s bar I was like a celeb. My life reminded me of Jay Z’s “Big Pimping”

It’s big pimpin’ baby,
Spendin G’s
Feel me uh-huh uhh, uh-huh

Kumbuka my aunt was a head honcho in that NGO, so she frequently travelled abroad for conferences, seminars etc So me and my cuzo and her boyfriend Fred had her moti to ourselves most of the time. Kwanza it was a Pajero. As my Luo brothers say , “ofuk bandal” yaani big pimping baby!!

Man, akina Halima na Farhiya walinitambua kweli kweli.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgoqrgc_0cM

Now, it was one of those days when I came back to Mombasa from Msambweni for my break. My aunt had travelled to New York and my cuzo and Fred had gone to Nairobi to visit his family in Buru Buru. I hurriedly entered the digs to unpack, get the car keys and as per kawa head to Bob’s. The following day was my birthday and I planned to paint the town red. Since it was a Friday, I knew the mboch would have travelled to her village, so basically I had the house to myself…Big pimping baby!

https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/mynicca1.pnghttps://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/mynicca1.pnghttps://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/mynicca1.png

I ingiad the esto and went to look for the key where my cuzo had hid it but I couldn’t see it. I called her. “Nyawira, its how, you good? I can’t see the keys to the digs?” I asked “Oh no! I’m so sorry cuzo, I was in a hurry to leave for Nairobi and I forgot to tell you that mum’s friend would be staying for the weekend. Please knock, she should be inside. I’ll also send you her number just in case. Pole and see you later” she said. “Sawa cuzo no beef, safe journey. Salimia Fred sana”

I went and knocked and the lady came and opened the door. She looked like she was in her 40s, chocolate skin tone and was dressed in a loose fitting long bathrobe and had wrapped a towel on her head. She seemed to have come out of the bathroom or something “Hi, how may I help?” she asked “Iam Gabz yule mmoja and I’m the nephew to Mrs. Ireri” I said. “Oh wow, come on in! So it’s you, she mentioned you would be coming. I’m Doris” As we entered I noticed that even though the lady was wearing a loose fitting bathrobe, she had bebad a serious one and I could see the outline of her full figure. She was a Lunje and she had that stereotypical look…masguembez, diab ile ya ugali ya kusiagwa… eh wacha tuu! She caught me staring at her “assets” and smiled. I was quite embarrassed and excused myself to go unpack.

I unpacked, had a quick shower and came downstairs. By this time it was kitu 8pm and I was actually feeling kinda lethargic, so I semad l won’t go to Bob’s that evening so that I save my energy for the next day cuz it was my birthday. The mama had cooked ugali, chicken and greens-sema Mluhya! “I hope you’ll enjoy the food” she invited me. “thank you so much, very kind of you” I replied. Sasa, si we got talking. She told me that she was a nurse by profession and used to work with my aunt in the Ministry of Health and they were good pals. My aunt had retired and became a consultant with the NGO while Doris had got a better job with another NGO working in Darfur, Sudan. So we talked work, siasa, everything under the sun. She told me she had a 12 year old son who was living with her mum in Nakuru which is where she was from. She was in Mombasa for a workshop and my aunt had insisted that she stayed with her instead of a hotel. Around 11 pm I was too tired and I went to swatch. “Goodnight madam, I’m a bit tired and since kesho is my birthday I have some errands to run” I said. “Oh it’s your birthday? Happy birthday in advance and goodnight” she told me.

Kesho yake, I woke up kitu 8am. I was in a good mood man. I went downstairs and found a sumptuous breakfast waiting for me. But Doris was nowhere to be seen. I had breakfast and got ready. I was to meet one of my FwB’s for lunch. Kitu midday, I heard someone opening the door and I went to check. “Don’t worry, it’s only me.” I heard Doris as she opened the door. She came in with a gift wrapped box. “Happy Birthday, this is for you” she said. “Wow! Thank you so much, you didn’t have to” I said. “Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure”. Ndani was a leather belt, watch and a Calvin Klein cologne. I was like wow! What a nice way to start my birthday. “Here are the car keys” Doris said. “by the way, don’t make plans today, I will treat you to a birthday dinner. I promised your aunt I would take care of the house and that includes you”…she laughed. “We should be done by 7 pm and you can go for your other plans”

I was like zile za…

https://media.giphy.com/media/CKHo4ZlaudKdG/200.gif

Damn! I had planned to hook up with Farhiya, a cute Somali chick who was born and bred in Coasto. She was my FwB :wink:

We used to chop it up na yeye when I was in Mombasa. Damn! I thought to myself, mambo gani hii tena? I was in a dilemma cuz now I couldn’t say no to the offer especially after Doris had gone out of her way to by me a present. “OK thanks, I appreciate the offer” I told Doris. I drove to Nyali and met Farhiya where we had lunch. Later, as I dropped her at her cousin’s place, I told her I would call her kitu 7pm and plan for the evening.

Now I went back home and met Doris. She looked really elegant in a long red strapped dress, pearls, the works. Lakini I was a bit self-conscious cuz I was dressed casually like a rapper. I offered to change but she insisted I was fine. I was mad conscious now cuz I was now looking like her son or something. “Damn, this will be embarrassing” I thought to myself. Anyway, she drove us to this grown ass place along the Mombasa-Malindi road. Man, I can’t even kumbuka the name but it was one of those makuti places but with a classy restaurant huko ndani. We had a seafood dinner and I had my kawaida Tusker Malt while she had wine. Then the waiters came with a big ass cake and sang happy birthday to me. Man, I felt good. We shared the cake with other patrons. By this time, it was around 7pm. I had even forgotten about my plans with Farhiya. Drinks were flowing kabisa. The music was some grown ass lingala crap but at this point I didn’t care.

Kidogo like this, wacha Doris grabbed my hand and led me to the dancefloor. We started dancing those ma salsa styles which was rather embarrassing cuz I didn’t know how to do it well, but she taught me. Sasa, if you know the dance, you have to hold your partner by the waist. Mimi na ulevi zangu si the hands would drift downwards I felt her big ass kidogo. She takes my hand away, we continue dancing, I “accidentally” touch her ass again. Hivyo hivyo tuu pole pole. Kidogo we go back to the table, back to the floor and the cycle continued. At around 11 pm she whispered to my ear “I’m tired and I’m sure you had other plans. I’ve kept you for so long” “Go and enjoy with your friends” Damn, I thought to myself, how now? I panicked and kumbukad Farhiya. I called but nuuuuuuuutin. Simu ilikuwa imezimwa. Sema kuboeka! We left the place and Doris told me to drive as she was too drunk. Sisi hao we shikad the barabara back home. She fell asleep on the seat. We fikad Buxton and I woke her up. As we were walking to the house she was a bit unsteady on her feet with the heels she had on so I held her by the waist to stabilise her and she similarly held me to gain her balance.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eP_vK_6pMqA/Rt_lz86iWZI/AAAAAAAAAMU/CEC-xgeGQYs/s400/shak.jpg

We entered the house. “Gabz yule mmoja, why don’t you warm some food we eat” she said. Now I wasn’t that hungry cuz I had a big dinner but I had a shower and warmed the food. 30 min later the mama had not appeared. Since she was the one who had requested for the food, I went to check on her upstairs. I knocked but there was no answer so I funguad the door. Whaaaaat! I saw her lying on the bed face down. Man, the mama was stark ndethes with only her panties on! Nikajua sasa hapa, ata maji chafu huzima moto…

https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/shaq.png https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/shaq.pnghttps://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/shaq.png

I went and shook her. She woke up and turned. She had actually blacked out. She was startled to see me but I was just staring at her humungous tits. She sat up on the bed and she was just inches from me. “Sorry, please hand me my robe” she requested. “Hi, you requested for food, it’s been ready” I said. I was speaking in a hoarse voice cuz I was horny as hell. By this time, it was the mjulubeng that was thinking for me. I started stroking her neck and asked her if she wanted a massage. “Stop this Gabz” she said. But I continued stroking her neck, then her back. She closed her eyes and was clearly enjoying the massage. “You know you have been sending me funny signals the whole night, tell me want you want and I will not tell anybody” she said. Nikajua baaaaas! This is it!! “Thank you for a wonderful birthday” I told her. “You’re welcome” she said her eyes still closed. I was now stroking her bare thighs. I whispered in her ear “please teach me how to please a woman, I’am a virgin, just this once for my birthday. Pleeeeeease?” “Stop lying” she said “you mean such a handsome guy like you has no girlfriend?” “No I’m shy I told her” “naughty boy”, she smiled.

I took her in my arms and we passionately kissed, our tongues doing a dance inside each other’s mouths. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. I could feel her hard nipples. I started to suck one of them but she pushed me away telling me not yet. She removed my Tshirt and wrapped her arms around me and pressed her breasts to my chest. Our lips merged again as she rubbed her breasts on my chest. MMMMMMM that felt good. I touched her boobangas and they felt so hard She started to moan and ordered me to suck the nipples. I felt her one hand start to work on my shorts and I felt her hand start to reach inside. She told me that she wanted me now. She gently stroked the mjulubeng and started to lick it baana. Yaani, my niggas, nothing beats a grown woman’s experience in this world.

Her other hand was massaging my balls with a passion. I placed my hand on her pudesh. Chile was so wet, waaaah!! She leaned back so that I could see it and then showed me where to play with her. After playing with her p*ssy for a few minutes, she said she wanted to feel me inside her. She valishad me a CD and then climbed on top of me and lowered herself down. She looked at me and told me that I felt amazing inside her. I told her she felt awesome also. She told me to play with her clit as she rode me. After about 5 minutes, she started to shake, and she said that she was cumming. This caused me to push as far into her as I could and I exploded inside her. I thought I was going to black out. Doris collapsed on the bed beside me, we were both out of breath. We laid there for a few minutes. She told me that was some of the best sex she had ever had.

In the morning, I asked her if we could have sex again. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone” she said and pulled me on top of her.

Man, we spend the whole of Sunday in bed. This mama must have been on a dry spell those ones of Sahara desert. Baana, we did all imaginable styles and positions hadi I was totally drained. That day I learnt why they are called cougars. Waaa! We only took a break for her to prepare dinner and I bomoad her again. I was completely drained wadau.

https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/noah.pnghttps://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/whew.png https://www.thecoli.com/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/deadmanny.png

Kesho yake very early in the morning the team came to pick me up. I gave Doris a good bye kiss as she told me she would be travelling back to Darfur the next day. Alas! I never saw her again. Later that month I was called for an interview in Nairobi for a scholarship I had applied for. By this time, my 3 month contract at the NGO had expired. My interview was successful and to cut the story short, I found myself in London as a student.

Doris, if you’re reading this, I wouldn’t mind a Part II.

Shipoto

Siwezi soma

Tupewe summary hii ni ndefu :D:D

Ata mimi

nice read. really nice. You should consider uploading it to wattpad

Are you alright @Charley Flani?

Hekaya ni tasteless kama zile pilau mwitu za kina Njeri Wa cendro

nisaidie na no yake mkuu

nice hekaya well written. salty niggas hating

You are too kind.

nice hekaya

nice hekaya but cd ilitoka wapi?

My guy, I’d have somad, but my dog semad zii. The nigga just kataad.
But don’t think I’ve lengad.
It’s just that I don’t want to get umwad.
You gich?

Nugu.

Gabz yule mmoja, the nephew to Mrs. Ireri… Hekaya iko fyn

Nimesoma yote. Iko safi. pewa likes tano

Nimesoma but I have to tell you that some of us don’t like very long hekayas and with gifs. Storyline ni poa and is relatable. Would have been good if you kept it short. Gifs and hekayas do not really rhyme.