Good morning class, today we will discuss about the characteristics of wasee wa ocha in majuu. Please note that in today’s topic we will not include kenyans from the gulf because nikama hawananga akili. We are talking about Kenyans in the USA, Europe , Australia etc
So how do u identify a muchatha Kenyan in majuu
Heaven on Earth mentality:
Once in the diapora they get this mentality that they have made it in life. Very excited and shiet like that. Rich cool kids (born tao) like Panyaste look at them and just say what is this?
BOW DOWN TO THE MZUNGU
U see how waiters in Kenyan hotels take a mzungu for a god…baaaas this is the same way muchatha united Kenyans treat a mzungu in the diaspora. When they see a muthugu they may even piga for him/her salute ati ni heshima. Even in the streets they will give way to a mzungu na ni chokosh.
PICTURES EVERYWHERE
Fools zikifika malls or place ya kuonyesha uko majuu (and i hate this btw) lazima they take selfies or pictures alafu wana pose na style ya kiocha. They later post these pics pale FB to tishia their fellow muchathas back home.
KENYAN PARTY SAZOTE
They like organising Kenyan parties and meet ups za upuzi. Especially during this xmas season kuna party mob za wakenya. They meet kunywa beer, nyama choma and talk upussy. U can never find panyaste in such places.
SPEAKING MOTHER TONGUE IN PUBLIC
They say when u go to Rome behave like a Roman. Uko kwa wenyewe example kwa bus instead of conversing in English/Spanish/German unaskia watu in public and they are loud wanaambiana “Karii Kii mudu wa nyuba”…I will tell u for free this disgusts the natives of the country u are in the same way u hear msomali back in Kenya speaking ki wariah in a matt. STOP IT
SUMMER BUNNIES (80%) = Muchatha
When they visit Kenya , they like to be noticed. …and that is where the name summer bunnies iltokea. Wanapenda attention sana. Watu hawawezi pumua kwa club kama summer bunnie yuko. Alafu unaonga pale churchill these chics who go with walami wazee hapo ati marigo…ndio hawo…dont let the make up cheat u,that one is a muchatha united team captain. Cool kids like panyaste uingia polepole +254…fika place kama K1…adidas juu chini but not so loud…cheza chini talk to every one then leave in peace…no madharau no maringo…mtu anajijua
DRESS Code:
You can spot them from a mile away. It is either the scream color combination or they are in sweats and sneakers…day in day out. They are stuck in time, a 40 year old and they still dress like Ja Rule in 2000 and your not be surprised they sag pants
Have Not been to Nairobi:
Thanks to the bypasses, most of these guys never had a whiff of Nairobi air. Most came from reserve, through the bypass either at Waiyaki way or sides of Thika Ruiru straight to JKIA to destination. They went to airport escorted by fellow villagers in muddy matatus even though Nairobi had not seen rain in days.
FLASHING money:
Refer to #8 above. Due to their inferiority complex and the fact that they are a different breed from Nai folk. They always get online and insult the community because they think they have made it, unaware that some Nairobians are actually browsing while having coffee at an upmarket cafè where a fresh brew costs more than a Starbucks Venti Lattè.
izaa mkubwa…next time. That time nlikuwa na haters na zikujua how to contact u na pia kuna vile i dint trust u then but now i do. K1 ni home groud yangu
