1.)
I was about 10 or 11 years old and even though i came from a very humble family where things like Soda and “queen cake” were considered treats,we lived in a very up and coming estate in the West of Nairobi (thanks mostly to my Fathers foresight in the property trends)... Most of my new neighbors were rich kids with Choppers and BMX bikes that i could only get on by "kuomba ride" and one day one of the boys from the Esto was having a Birthday Party of which i luckily got invited to. I could not believe how posh in their house looked - they even had a microwave and although me and my other Riff Raff boys from the neighborhood didn
t have a clue as to what it was,we gleefully watched as “our friend” turned it on and we stood there watching it like it was a telly.
Anyway; the Party kicked off when his mom opened the Dining room and made us sing happy birthday
as she unleashed unto us a room full of all nicities that a 10 year old could only have fantacized about…
There was chapos,pilau, stew biscuits,KSL sweets,Kashata, Queen cakes, House of Manji Biscuits… that room looked like it was the Ginger Bread House come true!
And the beauty of it all was that for the first time EVER!, there was nobody telling you how much of anything you were allowed to eat!
Mama Kenno said that it was Kenno`s Birthday and that we could eat and drink as much as we wanted!..
I dont remember much after that but i know that the room went silent as we indulged in the mlo; I opened at least 3 sodas (just to own them) and then i ate everything that i could get my hands on;starting with the chapos,then the biscuits,sweets,cakes,and all these time stuffing my pockets full of anything else i thought i couldn
t munch fast enough.
Long story minimised 30 minutes later i was so full i struggled to stand up and it wasnt just me in this predicament! Most of us boys were so full that we thought the best thing was to go to the toilet and try and squeeze out what we had just stuffed into our faces!... Now kina Kenno had a toilet in the house but they also had an outside pit latrine and this is where i found myself after a long walk from the main house. I was so full i thought the buttons on my shirt were going to pop so when i went to take the "position" on the pit latrine,i couldn
t balance and i remember holding my weight against the toilet floor and trying to pu pu but nothing would come out!..
After many knocks on the door and about 20 minutes later i decied “faq this” i am just going to go back to the dinning room,carry as many treats as i can and head home to have a lie down on my bed.
Kesho yake i had to be taken to hospital with a serious case of Constipation!
2.)
I was in Primary school class 6 and we used to play a game called “Chobo”
There was 2 types of chobo; if the ball (normally a tennis ball) was kicked between you legs or you accidentally touched it with your hands you could get “chobo ngoto”- everyone chapas you ngoto OR; If you were playing “chobo mob” everyone was allowed to chapa you kama mwizi.
I was wise enough to stay away on this particular day juu it was just the big boys from Class 8 playing that day but as i walked past,the stupid tennis ball was kicked in my directions and in my attempt to kick it back int the pitch,i missed and it went through my legs!!!.. CHOBO!!!
The next thing i know all the players are chasing after me and so is the rest of the school (including some girls) and i knew that there was no point trying to explain to them that i was actually a by-stander so nikatoka chut heade for the school gate hoping that if went out of the gate they would stop chasing me lakini wapi"?
It looked like the whole school was after me and when i saw the “first body” chasing me out of the school gates nikajua hawa watu wataniuwa and lucky for me right outsiide my school gates kulikuwa na bus stop and at that particular time there was a Kenya Bus getting ready to depart nikaenda kama nimeingia Chubwi!..
And all the kids chasing me wakabaki na alama ya mshangao as the bus drove off.
The only problem was getting home bila bag and too early juu it was lunch time.
I alighted a few stops from home nikajipa shughuli mpaka when the other kids came from school and then went home.