It’s ideal to make this formal so, here goes…
King of Kings, Jehovah, Lord of Lords, the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. The Alpha and Omega, Good afternoon…
Hopefully, you read this letter and respond to my tears, fears.
First, kindly instruct St. Peter of the pearly gates, or Angel Gabriel to find and lash Jomo Kenyatta, Arap Moi and Oginga Odinga for me, 60 strokes each. Why? I’m convinced they set this country on a decadent, destructive path. You should see what their sons are doing to us…it’s attrociously dehumanising
Good Lord, you know my shortcomings and sins, lying, stealing glances at things (people’s) and consuming too much of what I shouldn’t. However, trying to do good and benefit to others is personal for me. But…
Dear Lord, I’m clueless on what more to do, and on The Verge of Giving Up. And I’m not the only one. One your receive to Kenya’s frequency…you hear that? Harrowing!
Everyday, well, most days, at dawn, I’m out waiting for customers to buy kids items. By sunrise, I’m thirsty and hungry. Hours later, it’s sunset, then darkness and back home for a rest. Auditing my pockets, after 15 hours, I’m proud of sales totalling Kshs…NOTHING. LET THAT SINK IN. M regular, too frequent bad days.
Rent, school fees, electricity, food, NHIF, airtime,…Lord…NOTHING minus cost of goods sold is…unfathomably my reality.
2020 has been about slipping, falling and rising again. On repeat like some pesky and annoying Kenyan radio. NOs and silence are soundtracks to my applications and requests. I love bouncing back, I live for it. But…
For how much longer Lord? How many more days till things work out. Being on your feet, or walking 12-15 hours a day, everyday just to make a crack at life? What good with such returns? What bills to take care of with zero? When will that break ever come?
A mess I am, I know, as much as you do. But don’t I deserve a chance? Breathing room? Don’t we all?
They say you are closest to those who suffer. How close? A million kilometres away? A centimetre? How close when your servants who cater to our spiritual nourishment only take and take…they don’t give accordingly to the less fortunate. Not all, but some…a good many. What good is a house of God when it can barely genuinely, help it’s most helpless members?
So yes, I’ll rise again and go out with my best smile, optimistic things will be good today. Full of faith, hope and belief…that today will be better. Yet most days, reality mocks me, laughs at my exhaustion, hope and faith, hiding my efforts. Please, put reality in check, it’s being a twat. Sorry
Almost finally, Lord, please soften the hearts of our so called leaders-especially Kenyatta, Ruto, Moi and Odinga to understand that BBI is not the citizenry’s priority? Rent, school fees, food and NHIF are. The billions towards the BBI, HUJUMA number cost, all can support 1m families next month.
Finally, Father, can I genuinely call you that? I love what I am doing. But my prayer to you is, please make it work out sooner rather than later. If not, give me another way. I don’t want or deserve pity, just a way, a sign, Lord. We all do. And today, please send many customers so I can finally send my son a New Year’s gift he really deserves.
I know thigs will be okay. The wait, the when…thats most disheartening
Yours,
Sinful, undeserving yet beaten, and almost-giving-up child