Dear Ladies

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PepoPunda

Village Elder
#1
Dear ladies..,

When a man asks you to come visit
him at his place be it for a movie/drink/
cooking/cleaning or whatever excuse there
maybe; there are some fundamental rules you
should observe/know before visiting his house

(1).DO NOT come in close proximity to the
man’s house if you are observing your monthly
emissions of hemoglobin. Try telling a man that
u are on your periods before coming to visit
him and u will be met with a text “can we
postpone this please; my uncle just got struck
by lightning”…on a sunny hot day. Periods are
the closest form of Ebola men can relate to not
only because both involve emission of blood,
but also for the fact that both limits “touching”.

(2).The Agenda of your visit.

When you are
heading to the man’s house, please understand
that the voyage from your residence to his
habitat has got nothing to do with watching a
movie in unison or teaching him how to cook, …
you are simply escorting the real Guest of honor
(that is your pelvic areas) to his residence

(3).When you visit a man’s house, he will
express the interest to copulate. That is a must.
This can be done in subdued mannerisms like
suggestive utterances e.g. “kumbe unakuwanga
na haga smart hivi”, “ukiskia pillow ni un-
comfortable, kuja u-rest kwa chest yangu” or
directing his hands to strategic zones of your
body. I say strategic zones because u will never
find a man caressing your elbow no matter how
exposed it is.

(4).Once the man has initiated suggestion and
hints pointing to mating desires, you are
expected to comply in appreciation to the fact
that that he has secured an enclosed habitat to
facilitate intimacy. Do you know how many
people achieve copulation within the thickets of
uhuru park/arboretum at the mercy of nature’s
elements and passersby?

(5).When a man summons you to come to his
crib in the morning/afternoon hours, my dear
ladies, after fulfilling your obligations, by 6pm
you should have been gone…and please keep
time coz u don’t know how many people living
in that house had to go for exile for u guys to
exchange pleasure and they are about to come
back. If he summons you to come from 8PM
onwards…do not attempt to leave at 9 or 10pm
because your pelvic areas will be one night shift
attending to his gonads…
listen, If you dont want to copulate, dont
go..but the moment you enter the door of his
house, men assume that you have willingly
brought the guest of honor. huko sio bench ya
city council unaenda ku-relax alafu unatoka
tu...ala!!

Now you know!!


Copied from Maddie(FB)
 
F

Female Perspective

Guest
#4
Well put!! Kwanza I make sure am all clean down there so that the moment I ring that bell... Copulation begins!! Hakuna salamu...oh! I don't cook/wash dishes.
 

gashwin

Village Chief
#8
hii hua tunavumilia kama hatujawai kula but once done next time tunakukaribisha na leso na scotchbrite (sp)
by the way inaongezaga mrembo bonga points aki-offer kung'arisha. halafu wale wa kusahau ka-nika chini ya kitanda wanaonyesha inattention to detail...wacha niachie hapo...
 
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