The year was 2011 or 2012, I as any man, am not good with anniversaries especially where you will be required to spend money or lost money or both…Well, what is life?.
I think I weighed a paltry 53 Kilos just enough to make me legally weighted to donate blood incase Kenya had an emergency blood transfusion exercise and I really needed that bread & soda (Someone should actually sue this guys for such a deficient diet after giving them your healthy blood - Sugar & Carbs?
)…This is Kenya, Home of Delarue
One Friday afternoon, some 2 guys who i had known since kitambo when we were doing the tuweekend gigs zile za EABL, approached me at my workstation, i used to work for a now defunct Finance Sacco which has evolved into a bank-how? i dunno where they got capital from after they fired all of us. So in their eyes i had made it or rather i was better off than they were.
Haya, Sasa hawa majamaa wawili looked distressed and in need of help. Wakakuja tukasalimiana, mastory za maboy kama kawa, nani anauma nani, tei siku hizi imeiva wapi, mboga safi zinajipa wapi siku hizi etc basically lots of sex talk as is norm… they then proceeded to tell me that the bag they were carrying, a standard back pack contained mzigo.
I was curious, mzigo gani hii imejaa kwa mondo hivi hadi inataka kupasuka, the niggas showed me a sample of a crisp white 1000 Kenyan Shilling note. My heart skipped a beat. Ile hesabu hata Sonko na Sultan hawakuanguka shule ni ya kuhesabu pesa, sembuse mimi. No wonder i was a loans officer (sic).
Quick calculations and i could tell they had like 6Myk in that backpack.
The niggas told me that they had bought the mzigo from a guy who works at Delarue lakini wakakosa doh ya kununua chemicals za kuifanya pesa. If interested they were willing to split the money with me 50/50 kama ntafund kubuy chemicals.
Haiyayayaya… yaani Mungu unanipenda hivi. Mimi nafanya kazi ya ‘bank’ kuhesabu pesa za watu na leo umeniletea zangu. I lifted the bag nikaskia enyewe hio ni uzito ya Mita 6.
‘So, how much money do you need to get the chemicals?’ I asked. The guys eyes lit up like when you are watching a blue movie and you are just about to go (past tense of come).
‘We should first start with small amounts of Chemicals like for making 100K which is 30K for the components’. Nikasema hapa sasa nitaiva na niungue na pesa. My next question was how would i confirm that the money will be genuine if i invest that cash. Without hesitation the guys told me that they would come with the Cash doctor next day atuonyeshe how legit the mzigo was and if ok tufanye biashara ya haraka haraka.
It was past 6 and the guys were getting impatient since they said it would be unsafe to carry the money in a back pack at night.This made me believe that the money and plan was genuine even more.
Juu ya tamaa na nisipitwe na bahati, I convinced them waniachie mzigo juu kwa hii sacco ni ngumu mtu kuiba. Si unaona hata tuko na soja.
The guys reluctantly left the mzigo making me swear sitawacheza kiraka na hio Doh yote. Apana, si mnanijua, siwezi cheza hio, alafu si mnajua mahali nafanya sasa.
I gave them a K for fare and other niceties na tukaachana hadi kesho yake.
I couldn’t sleep.
12 midnight, 1 am, 3 am, 6 am, snooze, 6;30am… hii usiku ilikuwa mrefu. Daylight wacha kunikazia pesa yangu! Kumbe a 1000 sh is 17 cm long i had enough time kupekua ile noti ya white i had been given as a sample
By 8 am on a Saturday, i was at the door ya jobo ready to be a milionaire. Ala!
Kitu saa nne, my guys popped up, they had a guy driving an Ipsum, mmoja, Alex akakam akanishow huyu ni yule jamaa wa Delarue na alikuwa anataka kunishow vile hii biz inaenda. I told them its ok since in the countryside the sacco isnt busy on weekends.
The cash doctor came and we rushed through intros, story za pesa hazitakangi mambo mob… sijui umelala aje that isht. I was the financier.
He had with him a small container like what is used in the hospital with a black/dark purple liquid inside. He asked if i had a sample mzigo and i gladly gave him the note. Jamaa aliiweka ndani ya kale ka chupa, shook it vigorously and then very carefully pulled it out. The note was now pitch black. he then asked me to get some water and a kabasin from the toilet tuioshe ndio nijionee. Fast plus quick maji nikaleta, jamaa akaiweka ndani na kuifua. Lo & behold aki it was a 1000 note - rangi ya turungi, texture, ndovu hadi ilikuwa na ile aluminium. haiyayayayaya,… the guy pressed it between newspaper sheets ndio ikauke, wale maboyz wangu pia wako dumbfounded midomo iko kwa floor.
Hee, to prove that the money was genuine, the guy asked that we go to the super next door who have a UV light and buy something. True to his words cashier aliipitisha na ikawaka kama vile pesa hufunga macho kwa nganya za 23 zile ziko na UV lights. Nikajua hapa kameiva.
Unfortunately, the chemical was just enough to make 1k so we were to revert to the original plan and changa to buy the chemicals.
Now, upto this point, we were all convinced that this was our path out of poverty. Tukaketi chini, strategy , timelines chap chap tukapanga.
I went to the bank safe and chomoad 30 K clean, we agreed to meet kwa hou yangu where the mzigo was and finish hio Biashara on Sunday all day.
This guy even told me nikuwe na magazeti standby na niombe stima zisihepe juu tutapiga pesa pasi hadi tusweat miguu.
The guys had to leave since the chemicals za kuosha doh huwekwa DOD. na ikifika 1pm access there would be a problem, so they left - hurriedly, 30K kwa mbosho…that was enough to buy crystalizer - gives money texture, sijui which pellets (national security) - za kutoa rangi ndio ikae thao, and some other money juices that werent clear…
Nilifanya ishara ya msalaba, licked my lips and knew that Sunday was going to be a big day, a jackpot day…the silver lining on that cloud was finally here
To Be Continued…
