Don't count your eggs before they hatch.

This happened some time ago.There was this fine lady whom we got to know each other through a business deal. The chick was hot and had all the characteristics I look for in a bitch in terms of body. She was also very open and could maintain a conversation which is kind of important for me. For some reason intelligent bitches give me a boner. Anyways our deal went on smoothly and we got to know each other in a good start. I didn’t really pursue her from that angle as taking such a risk with a business partner is not worth the hussle. It might back fire and you lose a customer and some future recommendations so it’s always good to play safe but akijieta unakula obviously. That’s my life rule.

So fast forward kitu 2 weeks later she contacts me and tells me she would like to discuss a business proposition and was hoping for a meeting with me.I agree and we set a time and place. The D day arrives and fucks sake am running late. She calls me and I inform her have been caught up somewhere but would be at the restaurant in like 25 minutes. She declines to sit alone for that long and suggests this in her own words
“Let’s do this we could meet at my place as it’s not far from here. I will give you directions”
Ferk at that moment a litre of blood rushes from my brain to my small brain downstairs. I am just like ferk that’s the jackpot. Basically the job was done 75% and all I had to do now was chill and live up to the occasion. I obviously agreed to met her in her place. I make a quick stop to a chemist and stock up on condoms. Put them in my jacket and head to the place with a wide grin of confidence in my face

I am really poor at navigating directions but this one time I got the house right to the needle giving Google maps a serious competition. I call her to let her know I have arrived. She gets out in some tights and I give her a very warm hug just enough to transition the mood to a romantic setting. She reciprocates and I get a boner. Some small talk later and she leads me to her apartment. Ndio huyu mimi still unable to believe how easy this lay has been.

So I get to her apartment and as I bend to remove my right shoe my left eye catches some dark figure. WTF!!! it’s a NIGGA. What the hell am so confused. Why is a NIGGA here. Anyways I compose myself broaden my shoulders and regain my composure. I make some quick assumptions and convince myself that all is not lost yet. Maybe it’s just a frugal neighbour borrowing some salt ama ni caretaker fixing a bulb. You never know. Dude extends his hand to greet me and he seems like a warm fella. He introduces himself and we have a small chat. All this time the bitch has bolted to the kitchen. Anyway am sitting in the sofa next to me is a ferking huge nigga and my boner has long disappeared. She finally gets back to the sitting room, looks at me and says “Hey MadPhilosopher this is my boyfriend”
Huge Dude “Yah we’ve got to know each other”
Am just there forcing a smile on my face while deep down am just so confused at the events that have transpired. Why the hell would this bitch call me to her apartment when she has a boyfriend who you know is ferking there!

Anyways I gather my losses and we start talking with the guy. He was a very cool fella and we had a nice chat. He told me he was a footballer in the Kenyan premier league in passing. The business deal went well and I got out as fast as I came. Later on when I leave I Google his names and I kid you not dude is a prolific player in the Kenyan premier league. So yah at least I met and got to hang out with a Premier league player .So yah all in all it was not a complete L I guess…

Kwani huoni ball fala hii? Sijasoma.

You know when a league game is on and it starts raining, it becomes wet and slippery.

fag, we all know the guy mesmerized you more than the lady.it is our humble request that you keep your faggots stories out of here

Heheheeee…

Pole.

Nice one.

That is a subtle power trip. Be careful with subtle trippers. If you detect such a bent in anyone in your close circles, quietly move them out of that circle. Do not make them aware of the fact.

At least your teeth were not knocked out :D:D:D

You were really into her akajua wewe ni fisi akakukataa Kabla ujaanza ufisi

Unaconfuse @mad philospher with @ major prophet. Hata miminilikonifuse

he he he,lakini zote ni ngombe tu.na by the way uwachane n a khupipi kwangu

What did you do with the unused condoms, ??

Fanya hivi enda hapo koinange usimame kando ya hiyo lamppost, hutakosa mtu wa kukutomba mkundu na hiyo umama yako.

Sijawahi Katia ng’ombe mimi boss

Did you ever meet her again?

:D:D:D,

kuna thread fulani ya MajorProphet yenye alisema (among other gay shiet) ali lipwa naku tombwa na mzee fulani married and he’s contemplating exposing the guy to his wife because he was rude.

thread nilikua na fikiri ni ya MadPhilosopher, nika cheka sana nika shindwa musito MadPhilosopher ameamua a bomoe kabat na fujo hivyo:D:D
nika scroll up nione jina vizuri nika pata kumbe sio MadPhilosopher:eek:. ni fala inaitwa MajorProphet:D, and the whole thing became alot less funny because MajorProphet si mtu anatambulika hii kijiji. lakini a known talker mwenye amekua kijiji miaka mingi without ever being suspected of faggotry a admit to being a fag, uta shangaa ucheke sana:D.

anyways, when you make a quick glance at those two names you wouldn’t notice it’s two different names, uta dhani tu ni jina moja.

hujuma kwa MadPhilosopher bana!

Ha ha haaa… May be he’s still looking for other bitches… :D:D:D

:smiley: I think ni juu both handles have ‘Ma’ and ‘p’ is the first letters of both words, akili inajijazia.

Hahahaha nimecheka sana. Hujuma kweli bana :D:D:D:D:D

Yah man ata mimi while on my strolls in the village nilicheki hiyo handle and I had to double check. Mbwa hiyo faggot atolewe kijiji :D:D

It actually has a lot to do with this phenomena. @kijanamrefu @Afrojack
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Hebu piga hesabu kama hizo kondule zingeanguka kutoka kwa jacket amidst your confused state mbele ya huyo footballer.