dowry

Kajiado man walked out of dowry negotiations claiming the bride’s family was extorting him. The elders asked John Kasee to pay Ksh 10,000 to facilitate the dowry negotiations amid other unnecessary requirements. The bride’s family claimed their only daughter was well educated and went to some of the best schools in the country

There was a drama in Rongai, Kajiado after a young man walked out of dowry negotiations saying the family was robbing him.

John Kasee whose girlfriend is three months pregnant had visited the girl’s family to negotiate dowry in a bid to formalize his union after cohabiting with her for over a year.

However, what started as a beautiful ceremony soon turned chaotic.

“I wanted things the old-fashioned way. I didn’t want to ‘live in sin’, especially now that my girlfriend is three months pregnant. I wanted to pay dowry and officially settle down, but her people seem to have had plans to extort me,” said Kasee.

The elders demands for the dowry proved too much for Kasee and his delegation to accept. Some of these demands include:

[ul]
[li]KShs 10,000 fee to facilitate the negotiations[/li][li]Lengthy list of unreasonable demands[/li][li]Claims that the daughter was well educated therefore requiring a cash price[/li][/ul]

Kasee was overwhelmed by emotions asking the bride’s family to be reasonable considering he does not have a well-paying job.

He was shocked by claims that their daughter was well educated saying he had also been educated by his parents.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, Kasee walked out causing the dramatic collapse of the negotiations.

Reports indicate his girlfriend followed him days later and they are back to living together.

Whether the two families will reconcile and finally formalize the union is yet to be known.

This incident among others only proves why most couples prefer to co-habit rather than go through with the whole tradition of dowry, wedding then marriage.

Relationships are known to fail and weddings halted over outrageous dowry demands.

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My sister and my father are not in good terms over this issue called dowry. My sister got married while young just after secondary school she got pregnant. Currently, she has two children, a younger daughter (about 2 years) and the son who is the first born. Her husband has never come home even once, and this makes my father furious. He had even advised my sister to bring him home ajulikane before she can get another child with him, lakini wapi. Now, her son is 14 years old, just cleared primary school and yet to be circumcised. Reason: My father insists that her husband has to come home ajulikane before he can have the son circumcised. I wonder who is right/wrong in this situation but in a way I side with my father because for almost 15 years they have been together, her husband has never set foot at our home huko ocha. Is my sister as stupid as I think she is??

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Your dad is right

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what recourse does your sis have in case the ninja brings another woman and kicks her out?

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I would walk out too if they make unrealistic demands

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Nothing. That is why my father thinks that my sister is the greatest fool South of the Sahara. I side with my dad on this one, because his man has never come home for 15 years…wazazi wangu hawamjui…and he has fathered her two children.

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:D:DMujamaa anaogopa tutoa mahari?

:confused: This is hilarious. Eti sasa she needs her dad’s permission to have her own son circumcised? o_O

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what if she just said she is married for social acceptance. You are punishing the boy by delaying circumcision na pengine huyo sis yako kazi ni kugawia village sponsors slices pale sj

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:D:D why do you presume that it’s your sister who refuses to bring the husband at home? Put yourself inyour sister’s shoes. The husband adamantly refuses to be seen. Utambeba na gunia umletee wazazi?

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Ati 10k kufacilitate what? Sasa ata ka ni mimi I walk away. Hii ni rip off.

i don’t know about your place but among the Agikuyu, and i know even the Babukusu, the boy needs the permission of the uncle before he is cut…ni mila…

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That is not the case. Reason: I have visited my sister’s place very many times. The husband comes home every evening after work. They live together.

She was advised not to get another child (second born) before bringing her husband home ajulikane. Lakini wapi…she got pregnant and delivered before bringing him home…wise ladies especially wa huku Nairobi will not allow you to impregnate them without making it somewhat official because they understand the importance.

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My father said that he would pay for the circumcision and allow the boy to be circumscised by mid Dec kama huyo jamaa hatakuwa amekuja home kujulikana. From then on, he will assume that his daughter is not married and that that can can forever never come home because he is not welcome.

aende akikauka

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Among the Agikuyu, the boy needs permission from the Uncle (me) to get circumcised. I already gave my permission. Mzae ndiye alisema anataka kuona nani aliiba mtoto wake:D:D:D I am currently waiting for the bullshit to boil over by Christmas and it is one of the reasons I am not in a hurry to go home

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For the sake of the young boy, si uongee na huyo sistako na bwanake if you already know him? Lakini am wondering why the guy has taken 14 years kujiwasilisha. Any phone communication between your daddy na your inlaw?

No phone, no nothing. My parents dont know the guy. I personally blame my sister for not pressuring him to meet her parents. First hangekubali kumzalia second born kama hajajulikana home…and she was advised not to do it…but she did it anyway. Now the guy has absolutely no reason to come home or pay any dowry. Ameshamaliza kazi yake. After all, he has already fathered a boy and a girl. Maybe hata hiyo chapter amefunga tayari. Kijana akitahiri kazi yake imeisha…he can even dump my sister for a younger wife is he wants to, and no questions will be asked anyway. I see a case of a cunning man aliangukia msichana mjinga.

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