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  1. Scorp

    Scorp Village Elder

    Tumbo haikuwa na kitu alafu ikaanza kucomplain
     
    epoch likes this.
  2. Scorp

    Scorp Village Elder

    That was the last time I attended a meeting on a. empty stomach afdhali nishibe kupita kiasi
     
    gashwin likes this.
  3. kitikyumu

    kitikyumu Senior Villager

    men do not take nude selfies unless gay
     
  4. introvert

    introvert Village Sponsor

    Shait.
    :D:D:D
     
  5. jinchuriki

    jinchuriki Senior Villager

    my mzae decided to call in a favor since boy child hakuwa anafanikiwa kujitafutia job kazi ilkuwa kulewa na madem hic!( rick&morty style naration). sasa one day mimi huyo staggering my way home from my usual drinking sprees ilikuwa kindu 1130hrs hic! mtu akanitwangia simu kucheki ivi naona ni very senior persona very respectable man i shud say hic! ulevi ikapungua na nikachukua simu. akaniagiza nimtumie my documents to his email na akaniambia niandike email juu nilikuwa nimemdanganya niko kejani hic!(good boi image lazima imaintain). anyway nilifika home na kuanza kutengeneza email then nikasend alafu nikacollapse kwa bed hic! sasa wacha boi child aamke the next day aangalie kama email ilienda hic! nilikuwa nimandika jiberish (zzzznahdghgdggdg that kind of thing) alafu juu nilikuwa natumia phone nikaattach zile video za wazzup za kijana anawank kumbe ni viatu anabrush that kind of shit hic! hio mambo iliishia hapo. funny thing though i got the email right and everything else wrong! the devil is lie hic!
     
    Marketing 101, IsMundu, Giggz and 8 others like this.
  6. epoch

    epoch Village Elder

    :D:D:D noma
     
  7. OldBacteria

    OldBacteria Village Elder

    After campus i got attacched na NGO fulani huko Kisumu in the year 2012 as a clerk wa data entry,, that time Kenyalist was everywhere, whenever i reached at my job io ndio ya kwanza ku login, one day nimefungulia site za nudes na my boss a lady frm Kakamega came to correct something kwa whatever i was entering, tht time mmefungulia screen full because my computer ilikuwa kwa corner ya office , hizi machine za kitambo with 512Mb RAM ikakataa ku minimize screen,ni ivo ndio nilipewa off mpaka sahizi nangoja kupigiwa simu nirudi job
     
    Giggz, Sterphyle, Mr Black and 9 others like this.
  8. epoch

    epoch Village Elder

    Hehe, umenikumbusha comp yangu ya 125mb memory. Kuna kunguru aliniwekea mchelele, but hakuwa anatambua mambo ya comp. Alikata cable ya tft na akaenda na screen akaacha cpu. I still have the machine since 2006.
     
  9. Luther12

    Luther12 Village Sponsor

    :D :D :DThese things are arranged by Satan! :D :D
     
    pamba, Mrs4thletter, Giggz and 4 others like this.
  10. Luther12

    Luther12 Village Sponsor

    Kama ni mimi ningeacha pombe hiyo siku.
     
    gashwin likes this.
  11. Luther12

    Luther12 Village Sponsor

    Very important.
     
    gashwin likes this.
  12. jinchuriki

    jinchuriki Senior Villager

    pombe tunaachanga evry day. :D:D
     
  13. Useless Spectator

    Useless Spectator Village Elder

    Mine is not original, in fact, most of you might have fallen for it once. Now , our company's management consultant was in town to conduct his half year review. he normally organised some training session which he conducted before we got to the real business of the reviewing sales performance,(you dont want to attend one in a bad year such as this one). so every sales person was stuck in the boardroom complaining about deals the could have closed that day and meetings they had postponed. by the third hour, being naturally restless,i was already looking for a distraction and my phone accorded me one. stealthy, i checked into whatsapp to reply to some girl i was hoping to get slices from that weekend.
    Now, there is this whatsapp group made of former colleagues from college and the devil tempted me to see what had been posted. an old friend had just posted a video, in hindsight, knowing the nature of my friends, i shouldn't have opened that video but as you know the devil is a liar.i lowered the volume on my phone to zero and clicked play. just an old man talking about nothing then came the texts "you need to raise volume to watch this video". without thinking i raised volume and you have never heard louder micwake noises. there is nobody in that boardroom who didn't hear it. i quickly switched it off but the damage was already done.
    i kept my head high and collected my warning letter from HR the next day. life continues.
     
    bluetooth, Thitima, A.G. and 3 others like this.
  14. bure

    bure Village Elder

    I think I know this story
     
  15. AntonioMnono

    AntonioMnono Villager

    Use Textra SMS app. Great interface, has option for delay up to 30 seconds. Download it on iOS ama Google Play . Na uweke default SMS app kwa phone
     
    sludgist likes this.
  16. sludgist

    sludgist Village Elder

    9 secs max delay lakini
     
    AntonioMnono likes this.
  17. Mwendabai Albert

    Mwendabai Albert Senior Villager

    Maze this is madeup fake boring story
     
  18. jinchuriki

    jinchuriki Senior Villager

    and you bum fake ass niga
     
  19. Mwendabai Albert

    Mwendabai Albert Senior Villager

    Watu wengine hawana creativity aki.....like none zero kabisa hii ata sio story unaeza pigia watu kwa matanga this is just lame creativity juu ya kuwatch vitimbi
     
  20. jinchuriki

    jinchuriki Senior Villager

    look here fatface you should concentrate on loosing weight, the blubber is blocking oxygen from flowing to ur mock of a brain. excuse me if i don't respond to you again brain death is infectious.