Enyewe shetani no mbaya!. Autocorrect fucked me.

Sex & Relationships
1

Watu wamechoka na my babymomma innuendos wajiondoe was hii!

Sawa basi, so end of last month I successfully sued one of my baby-mommas for access.
Judge pale family court allowed me two school day evenings and Sunday afternoon.

Nikasema Allahamdulilla.

Jana was the first day and Everything went swimmingly best day ever.

Tomorrow was supposed to be the second day of the week.
But leo morning she texted me ati it’s not possible for me to see my kids because they have a scheduled dentist appointment after school that she forgot to mention!..

So, haina shida and I want to reply back and tell her it’s okay. (We’re currently not on speaking terms)

Nikafinya reply and I wanted to keep it to the point…
Hi, never mind, I’ll see them Sunday.

But my phone had other ideas!
Badala ya hi, the message she received was…

Ho! Never mind, I’ll see them Sunday.

A second later my phone is ringing and it’s her!..

“Hello!” I reply apprehensively!

Yeye:. Why are you calling me a whore?!! What have I done for you to call me a whore? All I do is look after your children while you’re out there being a man whore… And now you’re calling me a whore?..
You will never see them again and I am reporting you for verbal abuse bla bla bla…"…

Haki, I couldn’t get a word in sideways to convince her that it was my phone that did that and after a long rant, she hang up on me!
She still won’t answer her phone but hopefully she will listen to her best friend whom I just explained the whole situation to.

Hii autocorrect how do you bypass it?..

2

hii ujinga yako ya fictional baby momas usituwekee hapaa . kuma wewe mpaka umekuwa mumama na hio topic jingaaaaa .

3

these baby momas will be the end of you. any right thinking person can see the spell check thingy. But again its not like you are dating normal birds. Don’t argue with her.

4

Niaje jinga?
Yaani umesota mpaka Bibi ameshangaa hii jinga inafanya nini Kwa nyumba saa mbili usiku na anataka kuingiza soldier amkamue!..
Kusota ni Kwa muda buda, payday haiko mbali.

5

leta calculator tufanye hesabu ya the no. of baby momos & kids u have so far

6

bibi aliniambia by 7 nikuwe nimekunja mkia kwa nyumba nikatii

7

Unafanya nifikirie kukaa single forever.Hizi mashida mingi sitaki

8

Panda mbegu hata kama ni nje, omwami.

9

aki ungekua Sudan ,white rhino haingekua extinct.

10

hatuna haja na bibi yako, ni kiatu

11

Handshake imeharibu maneno, watu wa baba wamekunja mikia huku

12

‘Hi’ is an acceptable word when typed on any phone and doesn’t need to be auto-corrected unless Ulikuwa umeset language from English to Ka-buda’s stupid shit

13

KB…That is a v huge problem right there. That is a nutcase. You need to tread cautiously else she will harm the kids and blame you which is why I told you to take pikchas when you pick them up and when you return them back to her. You know the law favours women here. Do not try to compete with her. You will lose out on their formative years and you are still paying child support.

Actually how about you start emailing her going forward and keeping the records? pikchas, video clips and pls don’t tell her. If she is the Mzaze one chunga sana bro. Those women are like the Akataas in Nobamaland. Entitlement.

14

kabuda how do you afford upkeep on your kids? Ama you think social welfare was designed for you.

15

Watoto wangu hawajawai Kula social welfare.
Tusizoeane priss!

16

I like the fact that my Mungikeress Sis amefungua macho. No more, no more, no more, MOMOS, home early to do homework with Clichy…'dad what is 4x4 tables, I only know your car:D

Usikuje kuniita ng’ombe.

17

Hizi hekaya zako za ufala si utafutange huyo shosho mnapigiana wakati baridi ya randan imezidi ndio pia na yeye anakuambia hivyo ndiyo alifanya na ex wake.