And in the spirit of gender equality, I’m also urging female Jubilee sycophants to avail their pussies for copius grabbing (#TrumpManenoz).
Lemme start by saying I’ve cast a special magic spell on this thread so only bonafide Jubilee sycophants can see it. This means you can fungua roho without worrying about “The Others” seeing what you’ve typed.
Now, on to the meat of this thread. You all know I’ve been away for a minute. In that minute, I’ve had time to think objectively about stuff. I’ve stayed away from politics and for some reason nowadays news is soooo boring that I go for even 3 weeks without watching. What this means is that I’ve managed to avoid getting emotional over some issues. As I become more involved in Kenyatalk, obviously my objectivity will get clouded again and I’ll return to default settings i.e full blown sycophancy. But before that happens, while I’m still sober, I’d like us to have a little discussion.
First, a question: What do you think of this Kaguy? This…this Kamwana of ours. For real, what do you think of him? Are you impressed by the way he’s steering this country? Coz I’m not. If I had to grade his performance, I’d give him a strong C+. Sure, we’re moving forward economically speaking, but that’s just about it. We have the SGR, airport terminals, bypasses, power projects, secret tunnels being built all over the country. But what about the other stuff? By other stuff I mean the runaway corruption. Do you think this guy is doing enough anything to tackle it? This vice poses an existential threat to our society, you better believe it. We can implement as many development projects as we want, but if we don’t tackle corruption then ultimately we’re doing zero work. When the president publicly castigates the auditor general for wanting to go abroad to investigate corruption but maintains silence when his own henchmen are caught in one scandal after another, does it inspire confidence in his leadership? What is the world coming to when people like Boniface Mwangi-BONIFACE MWANGI!!-start making sense? When individuals who’ve been implicated in corrupt dealings openly talk about withdrawing 100m shillings without looking like they’re scared of retribution? Who says economic development and corruption have to go hand in hand? Should we ignore all these scandals simply because the economy is growing?
You might dismiss these scandals as machinations of the opposition, but they’re coming too thick and fast to be ignored. And where there’s smoke, there’s fire. It is also easy to say “If the opposition was in power, there’d still be massive looting of public coffers”. That’s probably true, but it means we’re in denial. Because the opposition is not in power. And the fact that the opposition would probably steal too doesn’t make it okay to steal. The fact that the president is not directly implicated in any corruption scandal doesn’t mean he’s not culpable. Ultimately, the buck stops with him.
When we elected Uhuruto, our main aim was to show a giant middle finger to ICC. On that front, we succeeded spectacularly. You’d think these two guys would thank us by working hard to vindicate us. In 2013, Uhuru losing meant their two asses rotting at The Hague, probably getting worked on by Thomas Lubanga, Jean-Pierre Bemba or some other warlord. So in 2013 I had a really good reason for going out to vote. This time, I just don’t. While I’m firmly committed to the Raira Wiro Neffa Be Prisident movement, I’m not as enthusiastic about a second Jubilee term. Obviously Jubilee will win next year, because I only have one vote, but I just don’t see myself being inspired enough to vote. Kibaki inherited a country that was in ICU, nursed it back to health, then made it grow. All Uhuruto had to do was maintain the momentum, and tackle corruption. Really, how difficult is that?
Guys, while I was away, I started seeing things with astonishing clarity. 20/20 vision my negroes. Like Saul after that encounter on the road to Damascus, the scales fell from my eyes, and what I saw was horrifying. I didn’t sign up for this, and I won’t keep pretending like everything’s okay. We can do better. Faster.
The emperor is naked ya’ll. The earlier we let him know, the better it’ll be for Kenya.
