Morning niggas bet u good and all that . Kuna kitu imenisumbua the whole night …
Kuna this lady calling herself mama zacky…
The previous day kitu 5p.m a V8 packs outside my shop … M used to this heavy machines stopping by to exchange cylinders but on this day a hot damsel steps out… By then was busy bargaining with some low life either nimuuzie gas 850/= (6kg gas) badala ya 950/= … We had argued for some time …but the moment the damsel in heels n purple jeans stepped out of the V8 my mind was elsewhere …
“Hallo Nani anauza gas ?” The lady asked …
"NI Mwalimu " the short skinny lady (lowlife ) said pointing at me …her name is njeri a mother of 5 ako in early 30’s n it’s kama she ain’t stopping soon to reproduce hata Kama ni single mum …
“Eeeeeh iko mum”… I tell her …
“Aaaaaah just call me mamake zacky, uko na AFRiGas 13 kg …” She enquires…
"Ipo NI 2k pekee n free transport "… I conclude…
“No need for transport , wacha nikufungulie boot utoe empty” she directs me …
In no time it’s a deal done am by then waiting for the payment …
“Alafu u can have my phone number in case imeisha will deliver to yah doorstep” I tell her … She saves my number n flashes my phone… I save her too.
"Do u have mpesa here or lipa na mpesa " she asks …
"Hana mpesa " njeri answers back …
Sasa Nini husumbua wanawake was rentals ? Anajuaje siweki mpesa soon aiiiiiii, I give her that look “wacha kiherehere mamiiii enda ukazae”…
"No problem Mwalimu , lemme mpesa you the cash wen I get home "…she tells me …
Sijui au NI juu she was driving a V8 ndio maana sikuuliza mbona asitume sahio au NI ile kasumba yetu ya kuamini the rich can’t scam us … Sijui but off she drove away to the gated communities , a 10 mins drive away…
It’s then I remember about my lowlife njeri …"leta hiyo 850/= na ujue sikubebei " I take the 850/= n give her a proto 6kg gas …
Something in my mind tells me “mama zacky has played u fool” but something else tells me “b calm hukuona ako na V8”…
By 10 p.m m closing the shop , no mpesa message alert from 07_________89 ya mama zacky…
I tell myself labda kesho morning atasend this rich folks always forget petty …
Hakuna kitu mbaya Kama hustler kulala akiwa anajua ameoshwa faida yote ya hiyo siku…
Nikiwa kea bed around 11 p.m I decide liwe liwalo … I call mama zacky … Ako na skiza tone ya Celine Dion , the power of love … She picks immediately …
“Hey Mwalimu , polee 1st thing kesho asubuhi will send , goodnight dia one” …she ends the calls …
The fact she called me dia , leaves me confused … Kwanza dia one … Ooooh Lord wtf is happening…
The next day as in Jana I wait for her to pay … Inafika saa nne I decide bitch pesa zangu utalipa … I call her guess how she starts the conversation…
“Sasa ticha , hope ur night was good … Imagine hii gas yako Ina leak , plz come over n assist ukifika ingia gate C tell the watchman to direct you kwa mama zacky , mwaaaaaaah” she cuts the call …
M left confused again … Nipesa nadai au hii NI mambo ngani Tena…
The problem mostly huwa the kaplastic ring at the nozzle of the cylinder incase u don’t know … I pick one na some needle to do the job … In few secs my Yamaha engine roars into life n I speed there ta kwaga fata yaani like I mean business…
At the gate we argued with the gateman eti sifai kuingia na nduthiii but finally kikakumbali… Nini husumbua Masai akiii anathani pikipiki na zile viatu zao za ngomee madafaka…
I knock at her door… Wen the gate opens m confronted by those funny little dogs kamoja nilisikia kanaitwa Digi na kengine kush …
“Digi don’t bite mwalimu shuuuuuuu” she tells the little rascals that run inside the houses … Eti mbwa anakaa kwa nyumba ndani nkt…
She welcomes me inside the bungalow straight to the kitchen to fix the mess…
As I fix , she is busy interviewing me …
Questions like why I no longer teach, nilisomea University ngani, blah blah blah and of coz I lie nilisomea egerton , nikafunga Mary hill , Thika high etcetra untill she realizes m just lieing n laughs off her hand resting on my shoulder , as I the handyman as in kimutu Cha gas do my street skills to fix the gas leakage…
We light the gas cookers n it’s fixed … She apologized for forgetting to pay which she does instantly n tips me extra 500/= for the good work …
I ask about zacky she tells me ako boarding in some school called juja preparatory Kama sijakosea … She serves me some juice as we enjoy some music streaming in the smart t.v … N it’s like she is a fan of hip hop coz hii beef ya kaligraph na blaqbones interests her alot… Mimi mwenyewe hata kaligraph simujui najua tu willypaul … I like how the beef will grow our artists in Lagos n worldwide …hehehehe … We share few laughs b4 I pardon myself to leave … She promises to be my customer n incase of a problem she would alert me… M like ok mama zacky be safe …
As I sit here writing this for you readers to roast me am asking should I call her to wish her a good day ?