Guka's True Coming Out Hekaya: The Day I Ditched My Gay Toyboy

I met Steve at Cameo, Verandah Bar.

At the time, I was an impressionable country boy new in town, and hanging out at Cameo inbetween brief sojourns at Afro, Karumaindo and Modern Green was what we campus lotharios did.

At the time, Cameo was being run by the Muigais, including Kamau - Kenyatta’s cousins. Near the stairway was this giant painting of Jomo and, oddly, a picture of a white woman from a movie I can’t remember; you see, Cameo also screened blue movies.

Anyway, Steve taught me how to play pool - Cameo had one of the very few pool tables in Nairobi.

We became firm friends.

For years, I hanged out with Steve, who came from Banana. We did the whole circuit. Shamuras and Shades in Westlands (the latter is what you know as K1). Njugunas. Kutwa. 680. Summers. ZanzeBar. You name it.

Years later, our favourite haunt had become the newly opened Simmers, which was just starting to get a reputation of being the upmarket Karumaindo. The open-air kuma market.

Again, here, we played countless games of pool with Steve. I ferked a few hoes too, to my everlasting shame.

Because Steve was always a bit hard-up, I almost always bought the alcohol. I didn’t mind really, he was good company, and from the way we laughed and touched and hugged - you know, the bro code - anybody could tell we were close.

One day, after I had had an extremely bad day at the office, I went to Simmers. Soon, Steve joined me, and like kawa he just sat at the table with stories and didn’t order a beer.

When I went to the loos, he called a waiter and ordered a beer on my account. I got mad.

Why did he take things for granted, I asked. Ferk, why didn’t he ever buy me a drink? Was he a woman?

Insults and anger later, Steve stormed out, leaving me seething. It was then the then supervisor asked me to calm down, and he then explained.

“FiudMacho, pole sana. We always thought Steve ni mtu wako, you know a special friend. Unajua hii Nairobi…”

“What do you mean a special friend…”

“Fieudmacho, you always sit together and you drink together all these years. Sisi tunafikiri nyinyi huwa pamoja…”

That’s when it hit me; Steve was gay. Worse, he was a a gay CSW. All this time he had been using me as the prop to make discreet connections with his clients. To all the staff of the clubs we had visited, I was the SPECIAL client. To them Steve was my toyboy.

I never sat on the same table with my toyboy again. Several years later I saw him and he was obviously ailing from a serious disease. I was later told (by a mutual bar friend) that he died a year or two later.

While I felt sad for a young life lost, I also felt a twinge of anger that he misused me so.

DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE COWBOYS WHO, BACK IN THE DAY, HANGED OUT AT MEOS, INCLUDING STEVE HIMSELF, MEJA, OSCAR, SWEETIE, ROOKIE, JOE AND BRAYO, AND WHO NOW HAVE CROSSED TO THE OTHER SIDE.

HOPE TO SEE YOU SOMEDAY, BUT NOT TOO SOON. I STILL GOT SOME FISH TO FRY.

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Phew! what a relief Ngabu…i was expecting some shocker there…I had even asked myself kwani what dawa did the Gikonyo’s give our guka now?

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Gashwin, hizi headlines za Star pia sisi tunajua kuziandika. When the Pope comes, just rush to him and ask, “Are you a paedophile?”

Following day lead with a story: “Pope Denys He is a Paedophile”

Halafu uendelee na stori…“the denial comes amidst a raging storm in the Catholic Church on child abuse…bla bla bla bla…”

100,000 copies sold just like that. Kachingching!

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Not that I am judging you but I think you should have been your brother’s keeper, he must have held you in high esteem if he never approached or tried to funga you during all this time when he was your friend… You did not have to break the friendship just because your friend was gay, anyway that’s just me

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How comes you know so many gays? Is it a case of birds of a feather. …?

… .INCLUDING STEVE HIMSELF, MEJA, OSCAR, SWEETIE, ROOKIE, JOE AND BRAYO, AND WHO NOW HAVE CROSSED TO THE OTHER SIDE.

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Sema tu alikukamua na haukupenda

Good to see u frequented Afro Unity bar…that was a bar and a half those days in our early days at UoN…

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No wonder mm mzee kila siku ni hospital,luwere utafwata steve.

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I miss Afro. Got inducted into university drinking ways there…

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Proof that homosexuality exists in other species. You should subbmit yourself to be studied, it could give us an insight in the progression of homosexulity over the eons.

A GAY OLD MAN! THAT IS A SHOCKER!!!

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Gati gaka, who told you everybody who frequented Meos was gay? Ama comprehension ilikuwa unapata 2.4%? Serre!

Mluhya mjinga. Ni hayo tu.

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Coomer knee ner!

Gays know each other that is how you ended being together,
Kubali tu ulikamuliwa na ulipenda sana :D:D

I thought you were better than this, lakini ni sawa tu…

So sad the way you treated Steve.I am not an advocate of gayism but at least he was human.He respected you and valued your friendship.You have even acknowledged that he was great company!You should have talked to him and made clear your principles and the no go zones. Its no wonder the guy was much hurt and heart broken at the lose of your friendship than his status.

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Guka shoste hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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A friend of mine went to Germany for a short course.The first weekend, he decided to sample some of the local pubs alone. After a few rounds, he picked one pub that was appealing to the eye. However, as he made himself comfortable and put out his order, he felt an eerie like tingling sensation.Why?Every patron within the pub had their eyes funnily glued on him.He thought it was his colour but there were several black guys around.
He hurriedly gulped his Heineken and made out as there was this choking feeling that was threatening to suffocate him.
Later when he inquired around he was told that that was a gay pub.And since he was a new face, the guys were weighing their opportunities before making a move!
So its true this guys know one another.

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hehe did he not notice that there were no ladies in the pub…but one can notice a queer from a mile away by observing the body language and behaviour