It is up to our generation to try alternative living arrangements. What I want to try is kuzalisha tu without marrying. Alafu mkae in separate houses but within walking distance of each other. Visit each other regularly, like 5 days out of the week, but pia mkuwe na hiyo breathing space whenever necessary. Remember our ancestors used to do something similar where they had the husband in the main boma, but the wife/wives in separate bomas nearby.