There is this place past Bahati in nakuru where we are invited for a wedding on Sato. I hear its home to some prominent people like Kihika Kimani, Njoki wa makodo, Njeri Muchene and others. And you see when you get into a wedding ground, the first thing as a normal three legged species like me (google) is to place your eyes on the bridal maids team checking for a potential lady, which I did.
The reception setting is the one called restaurant where you sit round a table. Unlike other settings where you sit as if you in a Chief baraza. Two ladies join me in the same table and one places her techno gadget on the table. Beside the techno is another peeled gadget which I guess its either a mobile phone or a calculator…Minutes later the calculator rings but I am not yet convinced that its a telephone at this age.
They are sipping water; perhaps to irrigate their skins…at first I thought they are white people but looking at their knuckles and elbow joints reveals something different. After bleaching I think they are in the latter stages of evolution from Wanjiku to Lakeesha and finally to zombies. All I hear now is two mzungu mwitus exchanging knowledge on their next visit to bleach clinic.
My attention is shifted back to the bridal team where I initiated communication with one of the ladies. She has a funny name that sounds like a type of a car or something, but I still enjoy her company.
I decide to rush to the toilets and promise her il be back soon. Remember this is a remote place so toilets are not the ones of water, no…no…its the ones you have the freedom of calculating the velocity of your missile.
I find all the toilets occupied and just like any other Adam would do, I decide to water the nearby fence.
As am busy relieving myself, the same bride maid I had approached is making a call and moving towards the sides of the toilets, away from the music and noise. She has already seen me and am thinking of lying that I was also on phone, but she has already seen me holding my kababa (don’t ask me whats that).
Its embarrassing I cant go back to her. I decide to take a stroll and thats how my wedding attendance came to expiry, I just walked towards the gate. I left pilau, keki ya muhiki and fanta of babies.
What’s embarrassing about taking a leak, the one freedom that God gave us as men is the ability to have a bush moment (read peeing) anywhere , it’s actually natural
reminds me of em days i was in primary… when we used to leave in those mabati rentals and there were two toilets serving 12 families one day nikiwa loo zile za mbao but kuna tumwanya twa cctv where you knock before the other persona gets to the door…sa sijui ni maringo ama alishindwa kufika this momo browny lady of kindu 30 just pulled up her skirt na akateremsha ka thong and shrrr …behold the inner thighs the skin that … just 2 metres right infront of me that image still lingers till now .i had never seen her so iyo wiki nilishinda nikiulizia na hakuna anamtambua it was the last time i ever saw her…would i have liked to see her again? hell yea