Has an active attempt ever been made at your life?

Well I have. I almost got killed in Tanzania visiting my Dad’s place of work. The university was closed being December, I was bored senseless nikamua kutembelea mzee Tz. It was all nice and adventurous at first, I hitch hiked with the company oil tankers from city to city across Tanzania.

The problem started when I was coming back to Kenya. My Dad fixed me with a driver who was to take me To DareSalam, from there I was to take a bus to Nairobi directly. It didn’t go as planned at all. I got a very bad vibe from that Tanzanian Maasai driver from the get go. Kwanza he suggested I should not go with him in the tanker and would be much more comfortable taking a bus. I thought to myself fuck that shit there is no way I was requesting a bus ride at the risk of coming out as a complete sissy to my old man. So nikamshow am good we can go together. Halfway in to the journey this Masai Tanzanian motherfucker pulls over the oil tanker and calls some guys from across the road. They literally start syphoning from the oil tanker with some 20 litres jerrican. I am amazed by the balls of this driver, yaani unaiba mbele ya your managers son. Anyways they do their stealing, I kept my cool there was no way I was standing up against 8 guys in a deserted road.we don’t talk about this until 30 minutes pass by and he stops over and buys a machete from a road side vendor.

This is when it all hit me at to why this nigga did not mind stealing in front of me. Motherfucker was planning to off me for a few litres of petrol. I thought about how he could easily cover it as an attack by night bandits which was a normal occurance in that particular deserted road. We have a long nervous silence in the tanker. Like complete uncomfortable death silence.In that very brief period I thought about everything manze, I thought about my family, my girlfriend who I had not seen for over a month,how I was a cunt to my older sister growing up, how I could successfully fight off 2 armed guys, yaani life became so much sweeter. I was so motivated to do things that I previously thought were beyond my reach.

The driver breaks the silence he starts telling me that every driver practises such behaviour and it was completely normal so as to ease the journey. I knew this was the moment, my life probably depended on what I said in the next few minutes. I had to completely convince this driver and his assistant that I didn’t give a rat ass about the fuel they stole and the morals behind it. I over exaggerated how little I cared about it and even went on as far as commending them for looking out for themselves.

The motherfuckers were convinced and we continueed on our journey to DareSalam with little incident. Needless to say I snitched on the bastards once I was safe and sound.

Ilikuwa lorry make gani tena? That has a petrol engine

Boy you were just paranoid nobody was attempting anything on your life.

Hakuna place nime mention “lorry”. It was an oil tanker.

Yes. In my kitchen. Love conquers all :cool:

I assumed that they were siphoning oil from the vehicle’s fuel tanks and not from the load tank since your journey was from the hinterland to Dar. Just like it would be strange for a tanker transporting fuel from Sagana to Mombasa.

you call that an attempt on your life ???, the nigger was buying the machete to protect himself from highway robbers not to cut your head off.

Haha nothing has been far from the truth. You will only truly have felt the seriousness of the situation if you were in it.

Words will never do this story justice. If you were in such a situation and you think a guy randomly buys a machete all of a sudden on his return trip in the middle of nowhere for his “protection” you are naive as fuck.

Scary…

you do know that Paranoia Kills, don’t you

None so far, but I have made several on others. Hekaya for another day.

@aviator wewe ni muuwaji hio tunajua.

I have never killed a person.

Haha I will even say being paranoid saved my life that day as it made me completely aware of the situation. Kaa ningekuwa na mdomo kubwa I would have been history.

Ii kijana ni mwoga tu
How often do you hear of such murders on the road?
Halafu Masais are not that kind of people at all.

That driver just trusted you as a man not to snitch, ilhali we bado unajiona mtoto ya mdosi.

I was almost died one day from sweetness and niceness of a woman.

Am not “mtoto ya mdosi” very far from it. Anyways any man who steals from the employer that puts food on his table is a scam and a piece of shit. Practically the lowest of the low. Ka una support hiyo umalaya ati to “be a man”. we ni kondoo sana.

ooon no…nlikua nangoja kuskia venye ulikamuliwa nama ngeus wa dar

Bruh, hapo ungejaribu kupeana speech ya morals ungetii…