Hekaya: Cuzo kuchanuliwa na pokoste.

This happened to a cousin of mine a few years back. Not really a first cousin but kitu like second or third degree cousin. Yaani clanmate.
He was living in Naivasha the year was around 2004. He had just cleared high school the year before. Went to Nairobi even before Kaimenyi had announced KCSE results. He stayed for two months but akaona life ya Nai haileti shangwe coz he was only getting kazi za mjengo huko. Luckily, a certain neighbor from his village akamuitia kazi in Naivasha. In those expansive flower farms. Salary was not bad for a young bachelor and he was being housed by this guy who invited him there. So guy worked really hard for several months without any major problems. Shida yake tu ilikuwa effect kidogo ya irritation from the chemicals used to grow those flowers.
Now in those days, the management was considering workers welfare in a number of ways. For example, since savings accounts in banks were not so available to most ordinary citizens, ungewekewa pesa yako for several months ukitaka then wanakulipa ikiwa lump-sum. So, for three months leading to August of that year, he decided to forfeit pay and take it at end of August, ili afanye kitu ya maana nayo home.
Come end month in August, jamaa akaendea pay yake for the three months. Around 22k. Not bad cash at that time. Pia alikuwa ameomba off ya siku NNE coz ilikuwa weekend. Aende Friday arudi Tuesday. At that time there was his close buddy in the workplace, a guy of same age as him. Guy was too outgoing. My cousin naye alikuwa ameanza kujuajua Raha kidogo ya kulewa na kwenda rave. So when they got paid, huyu beshte yake akamshow waende Nakuru hiyo Friday jioni warudi kesho yake. My cousin hakuwa na hiyo plan lakini ka-excitement kalimwingia akaingia box. Tena host wake alikuwa ameenda Nairobi shughuli za job na lorry ya kampuni.
So walitoka kitu 4.30 pm na by 6pm waliland Nax. Jamaa wakaanza kumeza maji. Walianzia Tidys. Chupa tatu nne wakaona hapo haishiki. Wakaamua kuteremka club iko huko karibu na Afraha. Huko wakameza different types of concoctions mpaka kitu SAA tatu. Ndio wakachukua tuktuk wakaamua kurudi town. Huko walienda Gituamba. Sasa hapo ndio kisanga ilitokea.
Juu kalikuwa kameshika, Ngoma ilikuwa inabamba na lanyes wakaanza kuvutia. Kila mtu akajishikia yake. My cousin decided to sample one yellow yellow momoste. Wakadance na yeye, kujuana kiasi na kujibamba vilivyo. The last time he remembers was descending the stairs of Gituamba and heading to Three Ways.
Alijikuta ameamshwa na miale ya jua SAA mbili za asubuhi. Simu, pesa, viatu na jacket mpya zime-Malaysia. Hata momoste haiko. I think hata hakuonja mzigo. Ilibidi aongee na wahudumu hapo chini. Bahati mzuri wakampea fare ya kurudi Naivasha na wakampatia slippers mzee asitembee barefoot. Bahati mzuri pia hakubeba pesa yote akienda Nax. Alikuwa amebakisha 15k kwa nyumba.

Hivyo ndio kunaendaga

Alijua hajui. Hiyo storo alinichapia last weekend akinitolea mzinga. Ilifanya nicheke karibu nikufe!

@ChifuMbitika umeamua kufungua roho as your “cousin.”

That story is funny lakini hao pokoste wako hivyo ukikaa mbaya unaibiwa

Nice hekaya but factually incorrect. 2004 the Minister for education was one Prof. Saitoti.

It’s true

Ni kama akiekewa mchele

Actually

Ni ‘cousin’ yake aliamua kufungua roho on his behalf

Vile Tu utasema!

Kweli kabisa. Lakini 2004 Minister of Education hakuwa Kaimenyi…hapo umetudanganya kidogo

Synopsis ikuje

Nakuru iko level yake na kuwekewa mchele, I’ve literally drunk in every major town in Kenya, only in Nakuru did my luck run out. Personally experienced it first hand. In Nakuru, never drink in a new place with strangers. Learnt the hard way.

Leta hiyo hekaya

Na asisahau kuiweka paragraphs

Siku izi kuweka hekaya niwaste of energy and time, kila mtu ako Sex and Relationships on alphabeta stuff.

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smart guy

Hizo bar za Naxvegas hapana macheso. Kuna hiyo Gituamba na ingine opposite inaitwa Lipps. Mchele hutembea kama njugu