Hekaya Fupi

I just remembered experiences of years back when we would visit grandma pale ocha…
Hii sasa ni time nilikuwa class 1… Grandma was a nice woman who really loved her grandchildren… She would treat us fine, tell us stories of how life was before mzungu came, advise us and teach us how to eat good food and keep healthy ndio tuweze kuwa strong adi tukizeeka kama yeye… She would even teach us how to hunt for girls, how to choose the good once and what defines a good girl… It was fun when she narrated to us how our parents used to behave how they were toddlers:D:D

My grandma had several cows… She worked hard to keep them fat, productive and healthy… We used to walk long distances to help her look for pastures for her cows… Unlike talkers, cows really take long to get horny… Lakini zikishakuwa horny, waah inachizi banae boma mzima haiwezi pata amani… Normal cows get horny like after 1.5years… Lakini sasa zile za shosh design zilikuwa zinakulishwa fiti, miezi tu kiasi kitu inapandisha joto inataka kudinywa… Hapo mbeleni nikiwa nursery, I never knew the meaning of this… Nilikuwa nashindwa mbona sasa ng’ombe inachizi, si ichinjwe tu tuikule tujiue na nyama…

Sasa, ng’ombe ikipandisha joto lazima ingepelekwa kwa ndume itombe iwekwe mimba… In greek they say that the cow has ‘moruke’:D:D… Whenever grandma’s cows would get horny, alikuwa anatutuma tuzipeleke kwa Mama Beth zikapigwe kuni… In Greek, Mama Beth == Wabeth which is pronounced as Wabethi… Wabethi had many ndumes of cows which were very huge and she would charge and she would charge us something small for those ndumes to fuck our female cows… She was in charge of that biz plus milking while Baba Beth worked in the shambas to find pastures, and sell milk… They also had female cows…

Shosh alikuwa anatupatia za macho za kupatia Wabethi alafu sasa tunapeleka ng’ombe… By the time tunapeleka ng’ombe, mimi nishashtukishwa na hii mambo ju sasa nashindwa mbona ng’ombe ichizi alafu ilipiwe kwenda kwa ndume… Alafu shosh lazima angetwambia, “Na ihaiswo maita mainge” which translates to, “Let it get climbed several times”… So I wondered what was the essence of cows climbing on each other…

Sasa tukipeleka ng’ombe, Wabethi anauliza “Ni kuhaiswo??”(“Ni kupandwa??”)… Tunamwambia Yes tumetumwa na shosh tuilete kwa ndume… Wabethi anachukua pesa alafu anatufungulia tuiingize huko ndani… Ndume ilikuwa inajua ngombe iko horny, nayo inakuwa horny… Ndume ikishakuwa horny inachomoa kikunyi kirefu alafu inakuwa tayari kuingiza kwa kuma ya female cow… Female cow nayo ni kama @TrumanCapote kuogopa kunyi… Sasa lazima ingeresist hio mambo na inasumbua sana inatoroka… Laki ni ndume naye ni nani… Inakimbiza inaifinyia kwa kona inaruka juu kikuni kinaenda kama kimeingia ndani indaa… Alafu ilikuwa inamwaga haraka sana sijui kwa nini… Na haikuwa inapump, ilikuwa tu inaingiza inashake mwili kiasi inawaga alafu inashuka inatulia ndio kikuni kichangamke tena… Alafu napenda sana vile ng’ombe humourn…

Sasa mimi nikiona ivo nilikuwa nashtuka mbaya sana… Tulikuwa tunajua kutombana ni siri ya kitandani lakini sasa here comes a bull that is raping a female cow hatharani bila kuogopa… Hio crime scene ilikuwa inanisumbua akili siku kama tatu… Sasa nilikuwa naona Wabethi ni kama mganga design unamlipa, alafu anafanyisha ng’ombe yako very evil things ju sasa nilikuwa nashindwa anaangalia aje ng’ombe zikitombana apo na kwanza ni rape case…

Sasa sisi tunaambia Wabethi shosh alisema ng’ombe itombwe mara mingi… Tunatulia hapo saa io ndume inakula napier grass alafu ng’ombe ya shosh imeshtuka apo kwa corner… Kidogo kidogo unaona all of a sudden kikunyi kimechomoka ndume inachangamka inakimbia inasukumuka kike kwa corner alafu indaa, kikuni kiko ndani alafu inamwaga… Saa io mimi nimezubaa apo nashindwa what the hell is this…

After kitu shot tatu ndume inakaa ni kama imewezwa inatulia, alafu Wabethi anatwambia imetombwa ya kutosha… Saa io kakike ketu kanakaa kameshtuka mbaya sana… What used to surprise me is, ng’ombe ikishatomwa alafu tuifungulie, inatoka mbio sana inatuacha hapo alafu tunaipata home ikikula… Sijui ilikuwa inajua njia aje… That act really traumatised me at that age… Lakini saai kuwatch scene kama io naweza enjoy kama nansenz… Lakini sasa shosh passed away sina kwa kuenda kuonea banae

This felt illegal to read.

damn this hekaya is like a grissly car accident,i shouldn’t be interested but sheet,i cant take my eyes off of it.For all intent and purposes,i have been reduced to a sad excuse of a higher primate.:confused:

@Addi Teacher ,kunyi ni nini in your context?

Now its your time too kurukia kungurus shosh did her job well to educate you on how to do that next tunangoja hekaya yako

I meant kuni… Let me change it

:D:D…Zitakuja zikiwa kama 50

umeweka kwote aiseh hadi nimerudi kwa sheng dickshonari yangu ya 1986 kuitafuta ju labda sikutumia miaka mob. sawa lakini,kuni it is,.Duly noted

It seems you grew up in a true village environment just like me. Those experiences are unforgettable

Njoo nikututume to our former farm guy. He’s got the bulls