Hekaya: The night a stranger bailed me out!

Back in campus, I had secured maximum loan by getting clever with the helb application form so pesa haikuwa shida. Kama kawa, we used to party every Thursday to Sato sometimes in town or kwa hostels and then slept the entire Sunday unless exams were around the corner. Favorite clubs used to be ibiza, (hey who can remember ibiza? :p:p), winkers, tribecca (had a different name can’t recall), club sylk and bettyz (which was kinda new). As part of our night rituals we used to play an awesome game “grind a beer” which was quite challenging but interesting. For a beer of your choice, maboyz would challenge you to dance with a particular chick on the dance floor…usually one who’s too hot for you or seemingly expensive lakini sio poko…The kind that will give you only one look and decide whether they wanna see your face again or not. But hey it was worth it, if you got it right you had a free beer to yourself and an awesome night. One condition though, …For maboyz to qualify your dance, the girl has got to grind you and get into it. Usually Maboyz would let out a loud applause while the girl is grinding you to signify you have won the dare!! If you convince the girl to join you at the table she too gets free black ice (mbili) ama ma-kingfisher…

Usually If I am on a bet, my strategy was real simple, check out how my target is dancing and study her moves while downing my beer then figure out my approach strategy and execute it. I usually had mixed results, some chicks let you have that grind while others stopped dancing all together. For the latter my reaction was something like “schtupid chick!! you ruined my chance to get a free beer!!” :D:D:D:D. So one night we get into bettyz, at around 11 in the night immediately after having our dose of old school hip hop at winkers. Ndani ya bettyz, club imechrome, it’s all noisy and music quite loud, lots of guys at the dance floor too. We weave through the dancing crowd and reach out to the waiter who finds us a table for five next to the dance floor kisha sisi tunaagiza drinks na ma-fegi… So we are into chatting mode and drinking ma naps hivi hivi na kuchapa fegi when one of my friends says something to the other three then immediately asks…“nani anajiskia na game leo? leo challenge ni big-mama” So I ask where is she? My friend points to one huge momo dancing alone way bigger than the momos @ekamsweu posts here. I am like “WTF???:eek::eek::eek: kwani umechizi? wacha hio beer ikae”… then one of my pals interjects “Bia tatu Mkufuu. Bia tatu ukidance na huyo dem. we ndiye hujichocha hapa kila mara ati uko na game…” First dude adds “mi nitaongeza bia moja kwa hio game Mkufuu, ziwe inne.” That was really too good an offer for me to refuse, four beers na venye nilikuwa nimesota…so I took one more look at the momo… She had a pretty round face but with shaggy hair held together by a red bandana, wore a white top, a short skirt and some tights. My target was tall and huge…huge everything , reminded me of those ladies who dance to taarab coz she was really curvy and wore a couple of bracelets which I could see from where I was seated… In the middle of my assessment my friend interupts " so unasema aje mkufuu?..leo ni kunoma mbaiyaa!" With a smile in my face mimi nikakubali…“I’m in”. With that I stood up but just as a rose one of my friends who had been laughing all along without committing himself added a new clause to the bet… “akikosa kuku-grind unatununulia si wote raundi mbili mbili” I gave him one look and nodded as I made my way playfully to the dance floor.

Part 2:

So I made my way to the furthest end of the dance floor, directly opposite my target as I danced and studied her moves…. She really had a simple but efficient dancing style which involved slightly moving her legs while her huge ass and hips swayed in a huge way in tune with the beat…honestly I didn’t know how to get to her. Then I felt my dick bulge and I knew I gotta do something because in my experience most girls won’t grind you if your sword is pocking them and that’s a requirement for me to win the bet… So I rushed to the loo, but as I made my way I could hear my friends break into loud laughter and hi-five each other. Back In the loo, I tucked in my sword and then quickly resumed to the dancing corner lest my target decides to give her huge body a rest… Again I started from where I left, studying her moves …she was dancing while singing to the songs as if she was consumed in it and every now and then turned around 360 in tune to the beat, I could tell she was good at either taarab or salsa…so I started moving in her direction slowly and rhythmically while lip syncing to the song and smiling at the same time. I was about three meters away when our eyes first met but I pretended to be just enjoy myself while dancing to the music.

Then something nice happened the DJ switched from the bongo of akina mr nice to the ragga music of akina sean paul, the kind that would allow for a nice grinding. So I turned immediately to see if my target was enjoying the new music. And wow! Boy was I amazed? Her ass was now moving like the twin propellers of them Obama choppers but with her legs kinda stationary (feck me? How is that even possible?). I turned to look at my pals and from what I could see they were dying with laughter-clearly not very good friends. So with my eyes now fixed on her I started moving closer and closer buoyed by the desire to teach my pals a lesson and get them free beers. Our eyes met again when I was about two meters away with a couple of guys dancing in between us. This time round, she noticed I was singing to the words of the song, coz she looked at me flirtatiously. All this time I was dancing in sync with her moves… I somehow panicked but to counter this I smiled at her and she kinda smiled back. I felt my heart celebrate, I kinda lost it and gained lots of confidence. Now I was easily the best dancer on the floor. Within no time I was dancing next to her. I had momentarily forgotten I was a seemingly athletic dude weighing approximately 70kgs now pushing to dance with a yokozuna……clearly for any spectator present, this was the best thing since wrestling. I had now managed to sync our moves and we were now gazing at each other and smiling… I moved diligently towards her putting one leg between hers while holding her waist and stated rubbing against her, it wasn’t easy. She was quite big indeed but at least she supported herself nicely…I could smell her sweat but I knew by now I was sweating profusely it was pointless calling kettle black.

After a minute of dancing this way, I slowly held her hand, moved slightly away from her and turned her around kinda like the salsa way to allow her twerk on me with her gigantic ass… She obliged and I knew this was the last step of the journey and my pals would soon set out a loud applause and it will be job done! But that was quite premature….soon as she bent over, I felt her place her hand on her ass with the palm facing me and started rubbing against me, actually against my dick…”SHIT WHAT IS THIS? I wondered “IS SHE TRYING TO FEEL MY DICK?”…. before I could even answer these rhetorical questions, momo started openly feeling for my dick, of course I had tucked it in at the loo…Somehow she couldn’t feel it well and she was frantically rubbing her palm against me while still dancing. I held on hoping my friends would set out a loud applause and the torture would be over. Then momo got frustrated, switched to fifth gear and reached for my zip. It felt like she was now unzipping me and reaching for my dick… Feeeck:mad:! WTF:eek::eek: Now I couldn’t hold on. I jumped back like a guy who had been stung by a wasp accidentally stepping on another reveller who immediately shoved me… As for momo she didn’t respond, she didn’t even look back….she knew what she had done and went on dancing like nothing had happened. I stood there momentarily stunned and then made it back to my table. I found my pals now laughing, literally in tears…

“Hauwezani!!!, Mkufuu Hautoshi!!!” “Unathani mbona hakuna mwanaume ame-try ama unathani we ndio Mwanaume pekee” I immediately interjected “Sikizeni nyi mafala, huyo big-mama ame-try kunishika mdeki….” but no-one was listening, everyone was in laugher, wiping tears…. “Kubali Mkufuu haufiki bei, waiter leta pombe hapa raundi mbili Mkufuu atalipa”…. I tried contesting the bet but no-one was listening because the “Maboyz hadn’t applauded yet ” Shortly after, my friends got into a chorus “mkufuu anunue raundi mbili” I had clearly lost the bet…Then something awesome happened… God himself intervened……a guy from nowhere tapped my back, a God-sent angel …he was also laughing and wiping his tears “Congrats Sir that was awesome! Enyewe wewe umeshinda ha ha ha ha”. In between his loud laughter he went ahead and explained he was sat on the next table with his crew and they were following. So tukangalia hio table hao majamaaz wakatugotea “respect man, respect!” The guy called waiter na akaitishia kila mtu raundi mbili mbili… Stranger saved me. I finally managed to explain to my friends why I gave up on the dance and we all laughed…

At about 4 am we left the place very drunk and hungry so tukaenda hapo sonford’s kula chipo and chicken ndio turudi shule…. As we were walking out after kula I notice someone beckoning me… a momo with a cute face sat next to an average sized girl both eating fries na kuku. Now drunk, I say hi and ask where we have met. Both were wearing lessos. She smiled and badala ya kujibu she lifted her lesso revealing a short skirt and tights covering her yellow skin and I immediately recalled it’s her that I danced with………

Wacha hii hekay iishie hapo as per the title…. Leteni comments ama Matusi

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Tribeka was Tropez back then, Ibiza is a Somali restaurant now.Bettyz ifungad like every weekend.Nice hekaya bro.

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Tropez… Stop right there youngling! This 1/2 years back? Jes! We should have ktalk oldies…

Njuri Ncheke inducts you to the hall of fame. Nice hekaya. :):smiley:

this is before 2009, we were in campo the same time buda

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In 2006 tropez was operating if I remember well… Ibiza closed after someone was murdered about the same year or something…

We don want SHOT CUMMINs…weka hekaya yote hapa.

Nice hekaya, inakaa wewe ni agemate. Winkers was it back in the day

8-9 years ago,calm your titties

That’s like yesterday! Tits are calm…can’t say the same for my pussy!

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Watu wa Zeep hivi hivi.

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Maliza story wewe

Used to order beef fry alafu they come with those hot towels, if a bird didn’t understand that sofistication back then their guard was lowered an inch. :D:D

P. S @mtukufu we can finish the story ukikaa sana.

nice read… yearning for the next dose

their guard or grade?

Acha nifundishe wewe kizungu zungu leo mwalimu :smiley:
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bia tatu plus zingine mbili mkufuu,hizo ni tano ama mwalimu wangu wa hisabati ni punju???

:D:D

It reminds me of Tropez, there was a certain waitress, by the name Yvone Nyambura from Githurai i used to DF. alafu tuka loose contact when she left the place, we then came to meet at Club Afrique(International Casino ) After kedo 2yrs, akiwa Hostess wa hiyo Italian restaurant ilikua hapo. Sema old memories, within 10 minutes, tulikua kwa parking ndani ya gari tukidinyana…

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Hekaya imeisha…kuja soma.

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