Me first day to get drunk
Am saying the first day to get drunk coz taking alcohol in majeii in Thika was very common even to kids but I was never drunk. The year was 1997 and I had finished my k.c.p.e. By coincidence,this was the same year Kenya was holding the general elections. Shameless politicians were wooing the electorates by all means including cheap alcohol. My siblings and I had been taken to shaoz to avoid commotions during elections in towns. Lemmi tell u kulelewa mtaani ata kama no kwa slums them times it was prestigious. Even older guys looked upon you coz you could speak fluently in shwahili n sheng. Coming back to the agenda,an MP aspirant had visited our mushatha contesting for Kiharu constituency seat. All the over 18 guys were told to converge at ngurunga bar and I was asked to go along just incase mheshiwa never understood the mushatha Kikuyu,I can address him in Swahili. As fate would have it,the pig did not have anything to tell the wananchi except that he had a small gift for jeshi. The next thing I heard was kila MTU achukue gilasi and Irungu rolled out 3 mitungis of machozi ya simba. Everyone for sure knew hii haiezi isha coz even ngenye who was always the last man standing on all drunkards spree,hangemaliza gilasi tatu.
When my turn came,I ordered irungu,‘jaza…!’. Little did I know simba was an acid in the making. My first taste n swallow was followed with a burning sensation from mouth all the way into my stomach. Nikajua hii kitu sio mjanje kuniliko and I decided to shout it chicken teketeke.
When the glass was emptied I called on irungu n told him with my eyes closed,‘ingine!’ I shouted it chicken again and ran out of ngurunga like a shot out arrow.
My first stop was at my shoshs nyumba kubwa n got on bed coz my stomach could not stand the heat while I was upright. Chemistry started making circles in my head that I could not even raise it. The next thing I recall was me waking up at about 400Am with kumwaura allover the beddings…
I have tried to understand.,.And to be understanding…
Niaje NV, a hekaya needs all the tiniest of details for it to be great alafu haiwekwi kwa tbt.
Nice try though.
25/40
KTalk welcoming committee kujeni Na viti tafadhali.
that’s too generous, nampatia 3/40 kwa kujaza ukurasa.
Wueh… Those two glasses must have burnt your brains too! Can anyone understand this gibberish?
Anyone who jots down a hekaya needs encouragement and Guidance, with time ataangusha a masterpiece ile imefikisha @mabenda4 standards,
Unasema @mabenda4 started with words like “lemmi” and “shaoz”?
NV keti pale - - - - ------------------------------->
https://roamaboutmike.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/wolverine-chair-01-26.jpg
Hekaya in there somewhere. Keep writing bro
Rome wasn’t built in a day… Don’t let the internet bullies bring you down… Thank me later…
I was flowing in the mix till last paragraph. Nonsense imejaa last paragraph. You need polishing kidogo . Don’t give up. Keep writing
Hekaya inawesamek but first explain hizi terminology …
- Drunkards spree
- Shout it chicken
- Hii 400Amps ndo nini
- Na huyu kimwaura ndo nani
#2. Kuugia nguku, yaani kukunywa haraka faster faster
unabembeleza mwanaume mzima ni kama yeye ni mtoto,the guy is over thate
There is a hekaya somewhere in there. If only the nv could stop trying to be funny…
Puke
1.Drunkards spree-moments the usual drunkards2 went to compete n see who will take more alcohol.
2.Shout it chicken in Greek is,‘kuugia nguku.’ Those who might not understand Greek,it is taking a drink in one gulp.
3.400Am is where I got it wrong coz it was supposed to be time I regained consciousness n woke up.
4.kumwaura is generally puking
Terminologies explained
Am a villager here but I still called the village shaoz
Angalia chokora…who asked u to read my gibberish. Your opinion and criticism is always welcome. Keep on impacting positive need improvement to me
Sema @uwesmake I can always smell your stupidity and nonsense from a mile away. Nilisikia ulikuwa banished kutoka kwa hii village, welcome back…