I am new here and this will be my first hekaya, if it doesn’t meet ktalk standards please feel free to critique and I will review the subsequent ones.
Once upon a time I was working for a serious NGO and we had gone to Homabay on official duty with a colleague. Normally the script would be draft a field visit, include a few sight seeing spots and a few irelevant stops to see some projects that would enable us have as much free time and enough time to relax as possible. As it was apolicy, we had to go two of us. This colleague of mine (for the purpose of this hekaya lets call him Jemo) that we happened to go with was my boy we had come from far with him a guy that was a happy go lucky and fun to hang out with.
To take you back a little, I am one person that never drinks, hata kwamka eti niende club solo has never been my favorite, but I can hang out with friends when I cannot avoid like the time I am out in the field with time to kill. So kutoka nairobi I was the designated driver my colleague knew that mys sister worked for an alcohol manufacturer/distributor so hakuwa anakosa makali/wine kwa nyumba (damages/expired) and since we were heading through my rural home, we were using this opportunity to declutter, so form ilikuwa we pack all our stuff, pass through my sister’s house, pick what she wanted to be dropped upcountry in the process Jemo abebe makali ya kumsaidia kufupisha safari. Sisi hao kwa sis, kupakia mzigo, siz naye kuona mgeni akaingia store na kutoa cask ya wine (expired but wine gets better with age) apunguze takataka.
Teketeke safari kaanza, destination was homabay (coincidentally ndio around ocha kwa akina Jemo). Tukaingia barabara… by the time tunateremka escarpment Jemo ashabugia glass kadhaa. Kufika Narok tukawekelea kanyama na sembe atleast itupatie nguvu, tukikula boys mwingine akatokea, this boy was a former schoolmate of mine and Jemo’s campusmate alikuwa anaitwa Ochi. By coincidence he was travelling to his rural home which happened to be enroute. Kuskia tunaenda area code moja jamaa akaleta his baggage from a transline he was in. In a spirit of giving back akaagiza mzinga. It was getting late I was of the idea that in the spirit of saving time, tubebe and they imbibe tukiwa safarini. On the side I had made calls to a certain kunguru who we had a history so she was expecting me with open arms (and thighs)…
Tukaingia kwa gari sisi hao by five thirty tukashukisha mizigo nyumbani, by this timeJemo alikuwa ameteremsha cask hadi nusu na akaongeza tot za makali and he was very tipsy talking inappropriate things as my parents wondered …
Phase two ya safari ikaanza… by the time tunafika junction ya kwenda homabay na kushukisha Ochi, it was dark around seven. Jemo naye ni mlevi, cannot reason, the only thing anasema ni, shukisha nikojoe hapo. Tukaanza safari ya homabay. The twist in this hekaya starts here… Apparently Jemo’s house was no longer in Homabay but in some remote part of homabay. Bibi alikuwa alikuwa anafanya kazi homabay but sasa alikuwa ametupwa field and I was not familiar with the route to the new house. Kujaribu kuamsha Jemo anipe directions, Jemo hajielewi he is in a useless state na simu yake imezima.
Wadau this is where when your boy calls you with anew number, iwe ni ya kunguru ama wife, it helps to save the number. By goodluck jemo alikuwa amenipigia na number ya wife wake mara kadhaa so nilikuwa na number ya wife. Sometimes akiwa anahepa kunguru fulani, alinipa number ya bibi. So here I am nikapigia bibi. It turns out we were still about 40 Km from the new home… as I digested the news I could feel in my heart the hopes of having warm puthy fading with each minute… nikafuata directions za wife, midway barabara ilikuwa inatengenezwa nikachapa tyre nikapata puncture mbili by the time tunafika kwa Jemo, jemo was not in a position to talk. Bibi naye amefura akasema hamtaki, aende alale kwenye atalala arudi kama ako sober.
Jemo naye akasema ni sawa. We turned back to homabay. For me the motivation was more of the what awaited me than anything else. By 10.30 tulikuwa tumerudi homabay. Nikaona kuacha jemo kwa hoteli sio poa, and since my kunguru had a one bedroom I asked her atandike kiti Jemo alale apunguze ulevi. Kuingia kwa kunguru kunguru must have really been waiting, alikuwa ameandaa fish na ugali tulikula faster faster, nikaingia kuoga. Vile nilitoka, Nikapata ulevi ya Jemo imerudi chini ameanza kuzua akisema hawezi lala nje na ako na bibi, bibi hawezi mkazia kuingia kwake. Kujaribu kumtuliza akasema hata yeye anadai kusafisha rungu na wife… Nikaona hapa ataongea mbaya kujaribu kureason akashika funguo na kutoka nje, I was too tired to argue na vile aligeuza gari nilisema tu kesi ni baadaye.
Mimi naye kunguru akafunga mlango akaanza kunipa mate kutoka kwa mlango… kumvuta na kingiza mkono… ile nguo moja nilikuwa naona ndio tu alikuwa amevaa… dem alikuwa na moto… Nikasahau story ya Jemo nikaanza kushughulikia threshold. … (Part two coming up…)
Sienz. Not acceptable
Maliza hekaya NV
Siku hizi hulalangi??
He he, nilikuwa na kashida kalikuwa kananilemea lakini kanaisha. Good thing kanaisha kwa mazuri na ni kujitakia.
Hehehe… wewe pia hulalangi? Umeona mwenye hii avatar?
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Hehehe… and then the name morphed into ‘mende ya yellow’
:D:D:DSimtafuti
:D:DNajua ako tu hapo amezima kama koroboi…
Cheza chini… 
Phirethi hakuwa hizo enzi, asikudanganye. Am sure amejua saa hii…
Kiino
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ndio hiyo hapo juu :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
imerudi
Hekaya Ni POA… ulianzia na rusungu swafi ukaanza kunyemelea lugha ya taifa ukamalizia na mother tongue!!
new villager unacheka nini?matapaka
Hekaya iko poa, part 2 ikuje fasta