If there were awards for being single, yours truly would
scoop all the awards and add them to his cabinet of
trophies, which include the most friendzoned nigga South
of Sahara & North of Limpopo among others. But I
console myself by telling my heart that my singlehood is
by choice…a choice by the persons I try cutting for, not
mine. But whattundu?.In Greek we say ‘utari ni muigire’
which in English means alcohol brings peace.
But sometime ago, I was in a very promising relationship.
This was the second girl to fall in love with, since the one
who took my virginity years ago and left me immediately.
Well, I understood her for leaving me because honestly,
which lady could stand a guy who entered the doors of
canaan and ‘died’ right at the entrance?.and before that
had bitten her lip twice while learning to kiss?. But
haisuru.
Now back to my second love. By the time we started
dating, I had more experience obtained from several short-
term FISIcal internships here and there. As the relationship
was growing, satan started creeping into the relationship
slowly. One time, the girl came to my place on a Friday,
with plans to leave the following morning for a function.
Just before she arrived, I went to my closet and while
arranging some clothes, found the most unexpected thing;
a panty. After a quick look, it didn’t look familiar; well
none has ever looked…after all, no man even remembers
to check the colour or make while removing it. I wasn’t
sure where it had come from…could have been from past
persons who had come to the house, or the current one.
Either way I was not taking any chances, and started
thinking of ways to hide/dispose it. Just then, I heard a
knock on the door. I thought of putting it in the pocket,
but no. I took a paperbag, wrapped the panty and put it in
the furthest corner of the dustbin, and then proceeded to
open the door. Everything went on well that night. Back
then, I was more energetic unlike now. Nowadays if I go
for more than one round, labda ukuwe unanilipa…I berra
find a cheque on the table in the morning.
So the following morning after she took a shower, she
asked the question…’i left something here but I cant see
it.’ Of course I helped her ‘search’ for it, frequently saying
‘lazima ikuwe hapa’… In the end, we gave up and she
decided to go to wherever she was going in commando
style. It’s healthier that way, they say.
Later in the day, I went to the dustbin and uncovered the
panty and returned it to the closet. When she came back
in the evening, I told her that I had recovered it in the
closet, in between some clothes bla bra bla. When she
saw it, she took it, folded it silently, and hit my face so
hard with it. “Whose is this??” was the only question
asked and the only thing spoken for the rest of the night.
From that day, the relationship started going sege wa
mnege until it ended not long after. Up to date, long after
the incident, I have never found her panty in this house,
nor known hiyo ingine ilikuwa ya nani na iliachwa lini.
Some things are mysterious…you just blame them on the
sins of your ancestors and move on with your life.
Keyana wewe bado angushwa vilivyo. Acha zako na ujue uko in the race. No worries.
Gathee, etha gafuku getagwo day bang by roosh v utare uratwika gichuki muerugeri
Swear umenikubusha the other day was chilling with my girl and I was kind of high. She sees this chewing gum stuck on the wall and goes like “Eish utaacha tabia mbaya” the high idiot me goes “Ah sio mimi you know I never use chewing gums”:D:D A second later I feel so dumb. “oh whose is it then huh” I blabber and say it’s probably from a friend who sometimes chills kwa keja. I definitely did feel the relationship took a hit that day.
:D:D:D apa ulichemsha kweli
karibu ujishike
Your narration skills are awesome. i wish you a fruitful 2018 that’s kama huja iba hii hekaya
Hii hekaya ni ya ole weru kule mukuru kwa zukabaga
Good hekaya like the earlier one,I look forward to yr hekayas. Nice , real and makes one read, on and on.
meffi, acknowledge the source