How a 110-shilling chips run turned into a 40k plus bill! WITH PICS!

so i owe ya’ll motorists a hekaya
i currently write subdued by poofateh and vitu kama hizo
no kabla muendelee, hii ni chipo za ukweli si zile za yule jamaa wa proboX6

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so here i am niko panari testing boost on my way back home
me niko 185km juu wasee wa kumap gari walitoa speed limiter
huyo dumbass driver nimemuona kutoka mbali sana. so my driving calculator kicks in.

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hii boyz anaindicate anataka kujion lane ya m
manze taa nimeflash hadi zinakaa kama macho za yule msee wa kukula dog food
juu ya hii nikaslow down to a manageable speed as seen in the mbisha naba 2
driving calculator stage 2 activated. this guy was still indicating

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finally mse akajoin baro. ah sawa basi si nitajoin lane yake nipite
lakini kumbe yaliyondwele sipite. kumbe mimi sikukuwa ndwele
i floor the car so that we exchange lanes so that i can keep flying
speed now increasing and a quick peek shows i’m at 150km (turrrrrrbooooo… ;))
(at this stage i broke my second rule of driving; never drive high speed up a blind hill. you might meet a stalled lorry)

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my fren’s, kumbe this guy alikuwa na agenda ingine juu aliniona late and decided kurudi lane yake
at 150km, i couldn’t join the outer right lane or swerve back to the left lane since i was still on joining trajectory. the car was moving at joining-lane angle.
i quickly slammed the brakes but because this guy was basically crawling, i was fast approaching hitting him from the back (DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS STATEMENT! I KNOW YOU NYANGAUS :D)

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i avoided hitting his car, turned left, hit the pavement, and quickly turned to the opposite side
next thing headlights ziko direction za cbd

damage
2 tires, 2 rims, control arms, 2 shocks, rear cross member, steering rack

luckily no bodily damage - both to me and the car

here i am. just about to tear into some ugali, sukuma and beef
@kermit , thanks for the reminder

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sijasoma lakini i see you take providing sketch seriously…

I hope this was meant to teach you kid how to cross the road carefully

sasa mbona unaharibu kitabu ya mtoto

:D:D:D:D:D:Dmy exact thoughts

Haujui kuchora

Speed Thrills. Speed kills.

:D:D:D:D that book ishaisha. ni kitabu ya class 3. ako class 4.
plus pia gecko moriah is right :smiley:

And then u ask uaself…“what was i trying to achieve”

Wah iza msee…two roads that I fear in this country are msa road and thika road. Kuna day I am in a cab going home at around 11pm. Kwa iyo shell after Bellevue tukaona jamaa anataka kujoin msa road but nikama akatuona so akastop. So me and dere are just talking and he’s driving at around 100kph. Venye tunaenda kupita hiyo shell the fool decides to eneter the road. Shait. Thank God the dere was alert tungekuwa na kina Nkaissery saa izi.

Nyinyi wasee wa mombasa road huwa mnanichekesha, ile class lanes ilikuwa inafunzwa mlihata, 180km/h kwa lane ya watu wana exit and join.
Ama ni hio road ina mashetani, utapata mtu ana drive vizuri sourthern bypass akiingia mombasa road unaona mazingaumbwe

thika road is the one i fear most. good thing you had a quick thinking dere.

shocks wacha nikushow, wasee hudrive msa road right side na wako 40!
this guy joined from town side, akaingia feeder lane, then right then middle.
it was midnight and the road was clear. just me and the other guy.

Thika road msee wa nduthi alikuwa ananiovertake from the blues nikichange lanes. I missed killing him by a whisker man. Sijawai shtuka ivo.

@introvert please start a school for sketch artists.

@introvert needs to edit these sketches immediately and profile it in the ktalk standards.Although OP has tried his best naomba you lend your expertise hapa(Bonus points ikitumika irl kwa hii story)
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Phew! A close shave!

Just to caution you, if this ever happens along Msa Rd, especially, say for instance that region @1776 is talking about or and Mlolongo, never stop, whether or not you kill the nduthist… Shoot your speed to 700kph and escape, lest guys slaughtering you… But you’ll leave all that burden to the motorist behind, should he not reveal your car’s registration number. Stop if and only if you spot the traffic police around the scene

These nduthi guys will become a malignant problem very soon.