My younger brother asked me a question that would sound so easy but after giving me the chain of events I was unable to help. Iko hivi:
He has been married for around 3 years now, all of which have been pure drama.
He brought the lady home as a friend one Xmas. He did not divulge any more details to my parents but he hinted to me that they would be settling down soon. Her reception at home was warm and welcoming and I must say from a personal view she looked a wife material; cleaning after mum, assisting in household chores, reasonably religious etc. (but is that not how women act when they’re new in the family)
A few months after, they realized that the lady was expectant, and they moved in together. Things were ok until the kid was born. According to bro they had their first major issue after he saw a conversation between him and a lady, who bro was complementing. He tells me there was nothing between them and except that compliment, there was no other incriminating evidence. The wife demanded to know who that was threatening to leave as it usually happens. Thinking that since he was no krimino he told her it was a former colleague, but nothing sexual between them whatsoever. She would hear none of it. She started to pack threatening to leave, called my mum telling her that my bro was becoming unfaithful and threatened she would leave. She would later escalate problem to dad who talked her out of it, where was she going at 10pm with a six month old baby. If she wanted to go she could leave in the morning, to which she obliged. But the drama would not end at that, she wouldn’t let him touch the baby, and wouldn’t even share the bed with him. That day she slept in the sitting room. In the morning, a small convincing and things were back to normal as if nothing had happened
Things were calm for a while until again she started suspecting my bro of grooving with a neighbor’s daughter, who according to bro, they only met often on their way home and had nothing more. She would confront them one evening, insult the girl accusing her of being a husband snatcher. That day there was chaos in the house, with her trying to force him to speak but he did not see anything to speak about, since he was not guilty. When he was fed up he took his jacket to go out but she wouldn’t let him. She blocked his way. Bro slapped her, she tried to fight back. That’s where all hell broke loose. It turned violent till she surrendered. She would call my parents again and report of the infidelity accusations. He did not even leave anymore, good thing the baby was asleep. That day, to create drama she slept in the bathroom. Bro ignored her and slept in the bedroom.
That violence started becoming a normal thing in most arguments; her trying to force him into a conversation and him telling her off leading to an exchange. Most times she would get verbally abusive provoking him further, telling him to take the househelp too if he wants, or the neighbor. Funny thing is that when they’re in good terms she is the clingy type, wanting to show off to everybody. Even after arguments, when all is settled you wouldn’t believe they were the ones fighting the previous night. But bro says he’s fed up and wants out.
Now here comes the challenge, no matter what he does, she won’t go. He has tried sleeping outside, ignoring her, everything, personally those are the things I would have asked him to try. She only has issues when things are hot but ok later. But she is very unpredictable. She usually gets abusive and drama is her second name.
Swali ni, what can a man do to make a wife leave. It gets to a point you get tired of the tension and the drama. Even the fighting is not healthy for the kid. or is this a normal thing and he should just give it time. how much drama have you entertained as a man and how much is too much