Summary:
-There are legal and undocumented immigrant cockroaches.
-Ferk doom aerosols.
-Anyone know how green leaf powder works?
I rarely cook. When I do, I take my sweet time to wash utensils, because washing them is actually more boring than cooking. From around May, I noticed a sharp increase in the number of immigrant cockroaches in my house. I say immigrant because there were two or three cockroaches that I was used to seeing. The ones that streak across the room once once and you just tolerate it. Even if they pass directly in front of you, you avoid stepping on them because you’re a proponent of animal rights. You understand they’re part of an ecosystem, that they serve a purpose, however useless that purpose might be. So, I was cool with hosting two or three roaches.
The situation became untenable when these undocumented immigrants started showing up. What irked me the most is that they weren’t even trying to lay low. They would just go about their business in broad daylight. You see, I had an unwritten agreement with the original two or three roaches: conduct your business under cover of darkness. Appear during daylight only if it’s an emergency. This agreement was adhered to 98% of the time.
But these new ones, they had an air of insolence about them. They were like, “we’re here to stay bitch. The sooner you accept that, the better it’ll be for you.”
Well, I didn’t accept that. As a human, my position at the top of the food chain was being brazenly challenged. I just couldn’t have that. These filthy trespassers had to be taught a painful lesson, and fast. Plus, I suspected they’d already murdered the original, friendly, two or three roaches and dumped their lifeless bodies in a ditch somewhere. So one day, I bought a can of aerosol. Why are those damn things so expensive btw? A medium sized can cost me a whooping 400-and-something shillings. I got back home and unloaded the entire can. It was a mixture of carpet bombing and targeted strikes. As in, I’d start by spraying in the general direction of their habitat, then, as they started dashing to safety, I’d focus on individual roaches.
I won’t lie to you, I killed quite a number, but the problem persisted. So I decided to consult an expert. I approached the local “[SIZE=6]dawa ya mende, panya na kunguni!!![/SIZE]” official, and he gave me this sachet:
[ATTACH=full]109445[/ATTACH]
It cost me only 50 bob. He also gave me instructions on how to administer the powder:
-Tear sachet
-sprinkle the powder on about four pieces of paper.
-place the papers in different parts of your house.
-Experience peace.
I did as instructed. True to his word, a week later, I couldn’t see a single cockroach in my house. What’s puzzling is I couldn’t see dead roaches either. So I went and asked him to explain how the damn powder works. He tried telling me ati sijui when one cockroach eats the powder, it becomes food for the other roaches. They then eat one another until there are no more left. He didn’t sound too sure about this theory though.
That’s why I decided to ask Kenyatalk know-it-alls.
So, how the fuck does green leaf powder work?
PS:[SIZE=1] It’s a slow Sunday. I have a lot of time on my hands to write an entire thesis where a simple one sentence question would have sufficed.[/SIZE]