How I snitched on my neighbor's wife unknowingly

Back in the day, I was a freelancer. Plagiarizing papers all night for a living. There was this dude, late twenties, who used to live in the apartment directly above mine. He wasn’t social with most people, but we occasionally would drink at the local together. He had a young wife. As a freelancer, I would work at night and sleep in the morning. Just after getting into bed, the sex noises would start. One day I had enough of it and told him to turn the noise two notches lower in the morning. The dude said his wife wasn’t a moaner, and I differed. He told me that whenever I heard the moans, I should alert him so that he can stop/slow down. Perfect. Two days later, his wife was moaning at 10AM in the morning. I called the guy. An hour later I heard screams kwa plot nikatoka kucheck. Kumbe jamaa alikuwa job na kulikuwa na some gym freak neighbor alikuwa anamkamulia bibi. That is how their marriage ended.

Is she a single mother now, and on your radar?

The apartment is above yours and can still hear moans??? Its either izo ni zile gorofa za mabati ama unatubeba ujinga!!!

Inakaa hujawahi ishi plot wewe. Kama uko second floor you will certainly hear moans from third floor kwa the apartment directly above yours. You will even hear the bed noises. Your bedroom is directly below their bedroom, and it is during the day so your window is open. 100% you will hear her loud moans unless you are deaf.

Seriously what is with you and commitment phobia? You will not pay debts nor ground a bird ? kunyemelea za wenyewe ndio zako ? smh.

Where is this coming from? I am committed to not one, but two women by the way. Just so you know.

Washazaa?

I dont discuss my private affairs on public forums. You, of all people, should have known that by now.

Kumbe hii ujinga yako sio ya kujiwekelea ilianza kitambo?

Engineer unaishi kwa flat? Wakanyama should see this. Ama wewe ni foreman/seremala tu wa roofing :smiley:

Sawa Mtura ndom.

That’s even worse.

It depends on so many factors e.g the design of the slab (Thickness,strength and compactness of concrete), i reside in the ground floor and i can clearly hear the moans of a slut who stays in the first floor directly above me. Note I reside in a slum where the apartments are poorly done from an engineering perspective.

:D:D:D:D Adhari za kula Mtura na kuvuta Ndom…

I know … This story doesn’t add up you are cheating on your husband with your neighbour while moaning loudly for everyone to hear?

Lakini Voltron/Quanstrom you have just made this up.

lakini mbona nyinyi hupatia huyu jamaa wa mjengo majina ya juu hivi mala architect mala engineer?huyu ni wale mafundi wa usiku wenye huwa wanarudi wale wengine wakitoka ndio wamwabie mwenyewe vile wenzao hawajui kazi

wewe umewahi cheat on your husband ndio ujue huwa hawa moan?

Mimi pia nishawahi seti bibi ya mtu kimakosa na too much unsolicited info.

So I was making a delivery to a jamaa in Kasarani. So on my way, the mat stopped at Garden City and picks up this hot bootilicious thing. When we get to Kasarani I find we’re going in the same exact directions with her. She stayed a little distance in front of me so it was eye drops the entire walk!

Akaingia kwa gate fulani na akafunga. Mimi kufika hapo napigia jamaa akuje afungue. Kuingia kejani ili aconfirm vitu zake, ndio huyu ule mmama.

Him : Huyu ni wife anaitwa (some shags mûndû English name)
Me : Yes, we almost met! We came in the same mat from Garden City.
Him: (Turning kama amedungwa na nyuki shingo and grabbing her phone) WEWE NILIKWAMBIA NINI KUHUSU HIO NYANG’AU?!
Him: (looking through the phone) HATA HUJAFUTA!
Me: Bro, iza. Si tucheki bidhaa kwanza.
Him: Ilikua how much?
Me: Ilikua (peasant amounts)
Him: Wacha nikuekee kwa Mpesa lakini siezi kaa tena hapa na huyu malaya!
Me: Imengia. Asante.

(I effed out of there like a gunshot!)

Apparently comprehension is a problem to you. Boss usitumie kichwa kama boshori!!