How some Omega male mistook me for a gangster

#1
I live in one of those flats where the entire ground floor is a tenants' car park. Mimi bado niko na Shoebaru Legacy so huwa sina haja na hizo parking. Anyway, I usually check in at around 12am na by 7am I'm out, so hata majirani hatu-interact saaaana. One day, I'd eaten some junk food at around 6 pm. So by 11 hapo I still felt full. Nikajichocha hata hakuna haja ya supper. Nikaingia mtaa kudoze at around midnight. Shiet, 30 minutes later nikaanza kufanya projections.

According to the way I'd started yawning (kuyawn ya njaa, sio usingizi, very important difference), nikajua nimefanya blunder. Fridge nayo ni maji tu iko. Hakuna hata mayai, a bachelor's best friend. Nikajua siwesmake mpaka morning. Kutoka nje shops zote za mtaa zishatingwa, and I don't like banging on shops after they've closed, that's bad manners.

I had to go back to a 24 hour trading center and buy food. Nikaenda bila shida.

One thing with me is that mi hukemea uzee on a daily basis. That means I still dress like someone in his early 20s, even though I'm a decade older. That day I was dressed in a tshirt, cargo shorts, hoodie na sneakers. Juu ya njeve nilikuwa nimevuta hoodie mpaka karibu inifunike macho. So when I got back to my place, nikapata soja sijui ameenda kudinyana wapi. Mimi huyo, nikaingiza mkono kwa mfuko ndio nitoe key nifungue gate. At the same time I reflexively pushed the gate. Surprise, it wasn't locked.

So ndio huyo mimi, nimeskuma gate na force kiasi na nikaingia kama mkono moja iko kwa mfuko. I found this guy getting out of his vehicle in the parking lot (must have come from the house to pick something he'd forgotten in the car). He must have been preparing to lock the car door when I "forced" myself into the compound.

Look at the situation from this guy's perspective. Someone forcefully pushes the gate, dressed in a hoodie that masks his face, at around 1.15 am, and is getting something from his pocket. The mofo must have thought I was reaching for a gun. His eyes popped out, then he raised his hands. It took me around 5 seconds to figure out what the f**k was going on, during which time there was a tense silence.

Finally I told the fucker to relax, coz I'm his neighbor. He breathed a sigh of relief, alafu chuckled kiasi like a fool. He then told me he's been carjacked at gunpoint before and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I apologized for nearly giving him a heart attack and went to my house, but I had a good laugh afterwards. Anyway, the fucker is now a good friend of mine, so some good came out of it.

The end. Fuckers.
 
#8
:D:D but pia uliponea ingekuwa MTU ako na .357 magnum kwa holster kama Mimi in panic mode angekuangusha
Huyo hukaa fala flani wa kukaliwa na bibi, ata karibu ajikojolee...but from hio time nilichange dressing kiasi nikitangatanga usiku juu nilijiuliza nikikutana na mob huko nje waone nimedunga "kama mwizi"? Hapo kabla ujitetee ni mawe tu na mafuta.
 
M

Mrs Shosho

Guest
#9
I live in one of those flats where the entire ground floor is a tenants' car park. Mimi bado niko na Shoebaru Legacy so huwa sina haja na hizo parking. Anyway, I usually check in at around 12am na by 7am I'm out, so hata majirani hatu-interact saaaana. One day, I'd eaten some junk food at around 6 pm. So by 11 hapo I still felt full. Nikajichocha hata hakuna haja ya supper. Nikaingia mtaa kudoze at around midnight. Shiet, 30 minutes later nikaanza kufanya projections.

According to the way I'd started yawning (kuyawn ya njaa, sio usingizi, very important difference), nikajua nimefanya blunder. Fridge nayo ni maji tu iko. Hakuna hata mayai, a bachelor's best friend. Nikajua siwesmake mpaka morning. Kutoka nje shops zote za mtaa zishatingwa, and I don't like banging on shops after they've closed, that's bad manners.

I had to go back to a 24 hour trading center and buy food. Nikaenda bila shida.

One thing with me is that mi hukemea uzee on a daily basis. That means I still dress like someone in his early 20s, even though I'm a decade older. That day I was dressed in a tshirt, cargo shorts, hoodie na sneakers. Juu ya njeve nilikuwa nimevuta hoodie mpaka karibu inifunike macho. So when I got back to my place, nikapata soja sijui ameenda kudinyana wapi. Mimi huyo, nikaingiza mkono kwa mfuko ndio nitoe key nifungue gate. At the same time I reflexively pushed the gate. Surprise, it wasn't locked.

So ndio huyo mimi, nimeskuma gate na force kiasi na nikaingia kama mkono moja iko kwa mfuko. I found this guy getting out of his vehicle in the parking lot (must have come from the house to pick something he'd forgotten in the car). He must have been preparing to lock the car door when I "forced" myself into the compound.

Look at the situation from this guy's perspective. Someone forcefully pushes the gate, dressed in a hoodie that masks his face, at around 1.15 am, and is getting something from his pocket. The mofo must have thought I was reaching for a gun. His eyes popped out, then he raised his hands. It took me around 5 seconds to figure out what the f**k was going on, during which time there was a tense silence.

Finally I told the fucker to relax, coz I'm his neighbor. He breathed a sigh of relief, alafu chuckled kiasi like a fool. He then told me he's been carjacked at gunpoint before and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I apologized for nearly giving him a heart attack and went to my house, but I had a good laugh afterwards. Anyway, the fucker is now a good friend of mine, so some good came out of it.

The end. Fuckers.
Thenkiu. I keep telling my fav teen nephew atoe hoodie from his face. It is not a good thing:mad:You were lucky.
 
#11
I live in one of those flats where the entire ground floor is a tenants' car park. Mimi bado niko na Shoebaru Legacy so huwa sina haja na hizo parking. Anyway, I usually check in at around 12am na by 7am I'm out, so hata majirani hatu-interact saaaana. One day, I'd eaten some junk food at around 6 pm. So by 11 hapo I still felt full. Nikajichocha hata hakuna haja ya supper. Nikaingia mtaa kudoze at around midnight. Shiet, 30 minutes later nikaanza kufanya projections.

According to the way I'd started yawning (kuyawn ya njaa, sio usingizi, very important difference), nikajua nimefanya blunder. Fridge nayo ni maji tu iko. Hakuna hata mayai, a bachelor's best friend. Nikajua siwesmake mpaka morning. Kutoka nje shops zote za mtaa zishatingwa, and I don't like banging on shops after they've closed, that's bad manners.

I had to go back to a 24 hour trading center and buy food. Nikaenda bila shida.

One thing with me is that mi hukemea uzee on a daily basis. That means I still dress like someone in his early 20s, even though I'm a decade older. That day I was dressed in a tshirt, cargo shorts, hoodie na sneakers. Juu ya njeve nilikuwa nimevuta hoodie mpaka karibu inifunike macho. So when I got back to my place, nikapata soja sijui ameenda kudinyana wapi. Mimi huyo, nikaingiza mkono kwa mfuko ndio nitoe key nifungue gate. At the same time I reflexively pushed the gate. Surprise, it wasn't locked.

So ndio huyo mimi, nimeskuma gate na force kiasi na nikaingia kama mkono moja iko kwa mfuko. I found this guy getting out of his vehicle in the parking lot (must have come from the house to pick something he'd forgotten in the car). He must have been preparing to lock the car door when I "forced" myself into the compound.

Look at the situation from this guy's perspective. Someone forcefully pushes the gate, dressed in a hoodie that masks his face, at around 1.15 am, and is getting something from his pocket. The mofo must have thought I was reaching for a gun. His eyes popped out, then he raised his hands. It took me around 5 seconds to figure out what the f**k was going on, during which time there was a tense silence.

Finally I told the fucker to relax, coz I'm his neighbor. He breathed a sigh of relief, alafu chuckled kiasi like a fool. He then told me he's been carjacked at gunpoint before and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I apologized for nearly giving him a heart attack and went to my house, but I had a good laugh afterwards. Anyway, the fucker is now a good friend of mine, so some good came out of it.

The end. Fuckers.
Now that's how you write a post. Interesting, short and humorous. Glad you wasn't shot by accident my nigga ...but hoodie nayo itabidi next time uwache home
 
#13
Captain kwani hii miaka yote unaendesha ndege hujawai nunua gari? Si ni wewe ulikua unaniambia hapa mambo ya flight hours
I have no use for a car. My business premises are a walking distance from my house, na mimi sio mtu wa kuenda ma-road trip. If I really need to use a vehicle I can ask one of my three siblings. Right now it makes no economic sense.
 

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