How to evict a fake pastor

My ol man owned a piece of land that he had not developed in the outskirts of town. A few years ago a pastor erected a small mabati structure on it, mahali alikua ana preachia,we didn’t kick him out because we are decent chaps and he seemed like a genuine guy who is trying to save a sinful world. With time he convinced a considerable number of naive and deluded women, and some daft young men to join him, and they started a church. Around that period this guy approached us (me an my bro) akaturequest tumualloy a build bigger mabati strucure to serve as church and he will be paying us a few thousands in rent. It sounded like a good deal, so we okayed it. 5 years down the line the church has grown tremendously, the guy has 100s of fanatical followers, n he is collecting a hundreds of thousands in tithe. On our part we have decided to start developing the property. Money has away of changing people, the once humble guy had changed to an arrogant prick, he had convinced himself that he is invincible just because he has a few followers and little bit of tithe money. So when we gave him a 3 month notice ahame, the asshole was OK with it. Little did we know that over the years he had acquired a fake title deed of that piece of land! So behind our backs he went to court and obtained a court order to stop us from evicting him from our land. You all know how slowly the wheels of justice move in country. So tulijua strategy yake ilikua atupeleke into a prolonged legal battle meanwhile akicollect 100s of thousands from his clueless congregants. My bro knows the OCS of that area, My boy runs a Keg bar where 100s of goons hangout wakitafuta plot. My bro goes to the OCS’s office a few thousands exchange hands and he is assured of 10 police offices and LandRover, i call my boy to my house we talk over a bottle of whisky and he assures me of 50 well built and battle hardened goons.
One fine Friday evening, 50 goons gather wanakula sawa sawa,ongezea a little bit of the ‘holy’ herb, they get their tools of trade,and we set out to ‘war’. Meanwhile in the police station 10 police officers fresh from Kiganjo are given an order to get into the landrover, they zoom in. We got to the church almost at the same time. In a matter of minutes the once majestic church was brought down 'n the tumabatis where up in flames. Word spread to the followers that their church is up inflames, wakakuja kwa wingi heavily armed…zileteargas walipata, usitake jua. After we were done, the pastors home was up next, tukafika huko full force, we let our selves in, nyaunyo zikatembea, nyaunyo!nyaunyo!nyaunyo!..the idea was tumnyoreshe lakini tusiue. I have never heard from that guy! Ever. I know that I should be feeling guilty for my ‘terrible atrocities’ but I don’t. I am sure my dad is proud wherever he is.

45 Likes

Justice Embakasi style!!!

3 Likes

Moral of the story

Never allow anybody to squat on your land/house/building without proper legal arrangements.

17 Likes

nyinyi noma but he was a stupid

hapo umetudanganya bro. Labda 10s of goons

2 Likes

We tried that same shit in Ngomongo… My uncle was beaten to death by hooligans from the Lakeside.

7 Likes

as in mlikuwa squatters?

These are some of the reports that are likely to appear on the OCS report during police vetting of chief inspectors which is about to commence soon. No police officer is above a court order despite what. Not that I condemn your action to get back at the land grabber.
Btw mna bahati, there’s a stupid law called adverse possession, which basically states that nobody can chase you away from a land that you have habitated for over 10 years uninterrupted. This stupid law has been used by squatters here in Mombasa to disenfranchise huge land owners mostly from “bara.” Imagine mgiriama anahamia shamba yako na familia yake yote, beach property worth over SH50 million and files a case in court alleging its grand father’s property yet amekua akiishi deep in the coastal villages. Its an emerging trend in Kilifi, Mombasa, and Kwale.

2 Likes

Nice hekaya though, will bookmark it in case I need some thugs in future for a dirty job.

as in mlikuwa squatters?

Walikataa kulipa rent ya flat mzima for almost 2 years…

I have learnt a lesson right there. Someone has erected 2 40-inch containers on my ka-broti. I should have known this before.

3 Likes

nice hekayas today

This is something my mother used to caution me from childhood on your land never even allow a friend to plant a single sukuma wiki.

4 Likes

:eek::eek:

Mtu anaishi aje kwako for 2 years bila kulipia?

Ask Kibera landlords after the PEV

1 Like

Justice delivered swiftly

@mayekeke there was a story in DN or TV where a mother lost his only beloved son who she said he was her life in simillar circumstace he was assigned to collect rent from a tenant who had accumulated arrears and he was beaten up to death.

Ngomongo huo mtaa ni noma. There’s a day a KPLC employee tried to disconnect power kwa ploti after arrears had accumulated because tenants from that tribe were not willing to pay up. Aliulizwa tu, kwani stima ni yako akiwa huko juu. He was stoned to death while still on the pole mpaka wenzake walikuwa wamekuja na lorry had to flee.

4 Likes