I need Advice please

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Liana

Village Elder
#1
OK I need ua undivided attention on a delicate matter concerning my life,I am dating or rather iv been dating a guy for about 14months now.We don't live together but I spend a lot of time at his place...his business of late has not been so smooth en I can tell he is struggling with bills....on my side my job is just OK though not growing but I can't complain am making enough for myself en I can even afford to save a little.. Last month I had suggested to my fiancee that we shud move in together en it will make financial sense since his business is stagnant.It was a brilliant idea even to him at first until I asked him if I shud move in with my kitcken.
I am into catering en I have a more functional kitchen than his, he only owns a gas cooker en some sufurias
Now here is my problem ever since I mentioned to him about moving in with my kitchen wear he started being silly he has been cold, missin my calls often,doin things behind my back (going to visit my aunt without telling me)
When I ask him whether I shud help him with his bills anakataa though I knw he is struggling
So am like wtf is wrong with this guy ? What did I do
What can I do to revive this thing to get him back to his feelings about me
 

chap

Village Elder
#8
Us men we have a lot of ego, and quite frankly he is feeling bad that you want to play the role of being the provider that he should be doing, he is disappointed in himself, just encourage him and tell him it is now about "us" and not "me" anymore
 

Purr_27

Village Elder
#9
I think you should give him some space, you can hold the idea of moving in kidogo ..don't push him, he knows you mean well he will come around
 

Ice_Cube

Village Chief
#15
Are you sure he wants you to move in? You know ladies bring proposals on the table with only one answer on the table, if you state the contrary atakasirika. Angesema "Hold the moving in part kwanza" Ungekasirika ama ungempa mood swings? about seeking your permissions, you are already showing him what a bad idea it will be moving in and playing "marriage" with a woman. No amount of financial difficulty equates a man foregoing his freedom
 

Smith_

Village Elder
#18
@Liana, some men simply covet & cherish their personal space and the kitchen thingy might have made him feel that you are invading that space.. too quickly. Some men don't like you to touch their stuff, they don't like to be bossed around, they also don't like you following them around, they have had their own 'kitchen routine' for many years & don't want to change soon... But they love you from the bottom of their hearts. He might also not be ready to have you move in yet but he doesn't know how to express himself, even though the current circumstances are forcing him to accept this reality.

Remember, the number 1 challenge in most relationships is poor communication and that's why I disagree with @snapdragon. Sex is not the solution. He might not know how his actions are affecting you just the way you are trying to figure out what's wrong with him. So you two simply need to find a middle ground.. Sit down and TALK! If you don't succeed with this, try and get a close mutual friend who he can listen to. And being aware of the problem and taking charge of it doesn't mean that you are insubordinating as a lady. Submissive ladies in a wanting relationship are so 1980s. Usimskize @Geiko. The most successful relationships nowadays are the ones where you treat each other as equals. Wachana na hii mambo ya 'I am the man of the house..' Kama iko shida, take the bull by the horns & solve it!

#ThankMeLater
 

MBOMB

Village Sponsor
#19
The guy is a Ktalker and he is afraid utamkalia chapati....Anyway on a serious note, give him space and he will come back to his senses.....All the best.
 
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