I need your advice

Andrian

Village Elder
#1
I am married with one kid and we are expecting another child. My wife is beautiful, faithful, respects me and my family but the problem is I dont love her at all but we are happy and stable and I have never shown her any signs of disrespect.
What should I do?
 

GREY2020

Village Elder
#6
how did you exchange your marriage vows and promises to stay and love her na sasa you say you dont love her, my freind, bibi sio kitambara utumie when you want, love & marriage is what brought you together na sio michezo ya kibaba na kimama. you have to love her ukitaka au usitake, but if you see yourself you cant go that path, afadhali umuache bila mateso.
 

Azor Ahai

Neo Unplugged
#9
You don't need to love someone to raise kids with her. You said that you are happy. If that is true, what I think is that you are not attracted to her sexually. That's where side chics come in. Have a side chic for the sex and remain married with a happy family.
 

gosh

Village Elder
#11
Love is cultivated kichana. Peace of mind is very important in live/marriage. Work on cultivating love towards your wife.
But hata wewe utakaa aje na mwanamke hupendi? Some of things are easier said than done. And how can the OP say he is happy living with someone he doesn't love! It's strange and not even possible. Ukiishi na mtu hupendi you can't be happy coz the small things will piss off so easily.
 

Andrian

Village Elder
#14
But hata wewe utakaa aje na mwanamke hupendi? Some of things are easier said than done. And how can the OP say he is happy living with someone he doesn't love! It's strange and not even possible. Ukiishi na mtu hupendi you can't be happy coz the small things will piss off so easily.
She treats me very well, she really loves me. But for me I don't have feelings for her
 

Muthafari

Village Elder
#16
She treats me very well, she really loves me. But for me I don't have feelings for her
I came across a study that surveyed married people who had stayed together for more than 50 years in a marriage. The question was basically asking them the secret to their long marriage.

Guess what was the number one secret. It was not love.

Both men and women placed RESPECT for each other as the most important criteria for having a long and happy marriage.

Look at the couples in this survey, which I have attached here below. These folks have been in marriage for close for more than 60 years and check out what they are citing as the motivators of marital stability. BTW, the survey is spread across different cultures and regions in the world. From Lithuania, to the USA, and even Iran.

Friendship
Respect
similar interests
Freedom to pursue goals
Knowing one another well before
Similar values
Spouse is a good person
Conscious of other’s feelings
Support
Tolerance
Religion/religious agreement
Partnership
Trust
Children
Communication
Loyalty
Patience
Companionship
Compromise
Forgiveness
Put the other first
Love
Good communication
Honesty
Have remained friends
Commitment

If you read the annexed references as well as the literature explaining the data, you will come to realize that LOVE actually plays a marginal role in successful marriages.

Don't destroy a marriage because of love. As you grow older together, it will matter less in the future. Even when you find a woman that you actually have feelings for, love will eventually become a minor motivator in having a long marriage.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6702121/
 

Top