INFIDELITY

#1
The subject of fidelity is often a tricky affair that not many want to discuss but the truth of the matter is that infidelity is ubiquitous, practiced by almost everyone, everywhere.

One lady friend of mine once told me that she was aware that her husband was sleeping with other women and that 'it was normal' and she saw no problem with it as long as he 'continued to respected her.' She even admitted to reminding the husband to always practice safe sex.

Some may find this queer at first, or even think that her perspective is a product of sheer foolishness, but give it a second thought: infidelity is rampant, and it seems to be a human weakness which only a mythical few can achieve.

What this woman is doing is acknowledging the obvious; her acceptance or non-acceptance will not change the outcome.
What seemed like folly has now turned out to be intelligence. As long as the man 'respects her', continues to provide and 'practices safe sex', she remains contented.
The majority of women would ditch relationships at the first sign of infidelity, only to find themselves in other similar relationship, or even far worse. It is the game and not the player.

Similarly, the famous adage by an unknown elder: 'kunguru hafugiki', may seem to be just but a saying to a new villager and also to an inexperienced fellow...but it serves as a grim and unequivocal reminder of the adulterous nature of women.

If we were to adopt a similar open approach towards relationship, where we acknowledge the unfaithful nature of our wives/ girlfriends, derive satisfaction from the bare minimum: conjugal rights, companionship, chores completion and a nuclear family set up, and in essence become completely unperturbed and placid by extramarital affairs, we would lead happier, stress-free lives. Inauma lakini itabidi uzoe.
 
#4
That lady never told you that the reason she is not worried is because she is also sleeping around.

Anyway what you're describing is an open relationship.

If a man and a woman both cheat in marriage, we know who will lose at the end of the day.

The idea of open relationships always come from assuming men and women are equal and the same. These two genders are different, value different things work differently etc.

I guess an open relationship can only work when both of you are pre 24 years or post 45 years.

Pre 24 years all of you will still be under the support of your parents. Post 45 years (assuming you two both bring the same income) the woman can not get pregnant
 
#6
That lady never told you that the reason she is not worried is because she is also sleeping around.

Anyway what you're describing is an open relationship.

If a man and a woman both cheat in marriage, we know who will lose at the end of the day.

The idea of open relationships always come from assuming men and women are equal and the same. These two genders are different, value different things work differently etc.

I guess an open relationship can only work when both of you are pre 24 years or post 45 years.

Pre 24 years all of you will still be under the support of your parents. Post 45 years (assuming you two both bring the same income) the woman can not get pregnant
Aren't all relationships open relationships these days? It's just that the practice is done under wraps...
 
#8
Why is it done under wraps. Yeah almost everyone is doing it. Why don't they just make it official and remove the hassle of trying to hide things and make their lives easier
I think the notion of an open relationship is still taboo from a third party perspective: an outsiders view...it also gives more liberty to a partner to venture even deeper into the infidelity territory.
The idea of an open relationship is also not compatible with a marriage set up. Or is there an open marriage?
 

Cheza juu

Village Elder
#9
The Bible says a good woman comes from God.


What does the above mean?

It simply means if she obeys God and keeps God's commandments,she is likely to be a good wife.Why? Because she doesn't want to offend God,she will not do such things.

But what if she is just a reformed kunguru or a corporate hoe who has run out of options and now God is the only option?

The answer is in her family background,that is why Abraham specifically sent his worker to a specific place to find Isaac a wife.That is why isralites were not allowed by God to marry from some groups.In modern times,it can be if she was brought up in an environment where open relationship were ok,she is likely to practice them.


What if it's the man yet the woman is faithful,as far as the Bible is concerned,devorce is allowed then.

From the above, very few people are faithful,the rest of you it's just a matter of time.
 

ChifuMbitika

Village Commissioner
#10
Only til recently, our grandfathers practised fidelity to > one wife.
It was never the other way round. Something (s) changed resulting in what we see today. Go figure
My grandfather had three wives. I can't understand how my dad has remained faithful to just a single woman. Maybe the generation that was born during the height of missionaries and colonisation were adequately prepared for the monogamy.
 

sani

Village Sponsor
#11
topic zengine huwa ngumu. kila kesi iwe handled kivyake. some women are lazy, they can't earn their own daily bread, what can they do? Wale wanaume mabwege, wanafanyiwa kila kitu na wanawake, wako na sauti gani mwanamke akienda nje ya ndoa?
 

MarkMarco

Village Elder
#12
Most people spend allot of pre relationship time planning and plotting how they will cheat if cheated on or how they will cheat and not get caught. When they are finally in a relationship and nothing is happening to trigger phase 2 (the cheating), they mentally malfunction and start behaving funny.

1. Some start using rhetoric that is likely to suggest they know you cheat discreetly.
2. Others create problems so that they can find justification for the same.
3. The worst gaslight you that you accepted that you have cheated in other relationships before and will reward themselves by cheating coz they now believe you will cheat anyway. (bad psychological torture)
4. They search for cheating stories from your friends spouse and conclude you do it together.

sasa take that information na ujijazie which is your strategy
 
#13
Most people spend allot of pre relationship time planning and plotting how they will cheat if cheated on or how they will cheat and not get caught. When they are finally in a relationship and nothing is happening to trigger phase 2 (the cheating), they mentally malfunction and start behaving funny.

1. Some start using rhetoric that is likely to suggest they know you cheat discreetly.
2. Others create problems so that they can find justification for the same.
3. The worst gaslight you that you accepted that you have cheated in other relationships before and will reward themselves by cheating coz they now believe you will cheat anyway. (bad psychological torture)
4. They search for cheating stories from your friends spouse and conclude you do it together.

sasa take that information na ujijazie which is your strategy
What nonesense. Who sits around spending time planning and plotting how they will cheat on a "pre-relationship"? Most people ni wewe na nani?
 
#14
I think the notion of an open relationship is still taboo from a third party perspective: an outsiders view...it also gives more liberty to a partner to venture even deeper into the infidelity territory.
Deeper into infidelity ndio nini? My own experience is a satisfied woman won't bother abusing the freedom you let her have. Nasikia wanaume wanasema sijui spy app kwa simu, sijui ongea na watchman akue spy... and am just smdh. And if she wants to cheat she'll still cheat, regardless of what you do. Why bother?
 

Cheza juu

Village Elder
#16
I believe there is a difference between a woman who sleeps with 3 men and one who sleeps with a hundred men.

The difference in numbers is dwarfed by the sexual thrill she gets.If we use %s to illustrate:if you give her a high of 60%,then she cheats with someone who gives her a high of 65%,then she cheats with 45%,then 50%....she might tell you she only has had one guy(65%) or maybe 2 but keep looking for 65+%


So to women the most damaging thing is if you can't meet the threshold,she will keep searching.

That means a good woman is a virgin if you want peaceful marriage.
 

Top