Is kuachika so hard ukiachwa?

#1
A few years back, peasantry struck me so hard that I had to go and live with an older relative that had separated with his wife some months earlier citing ukunguru. For the first two month after joining him, I relied on a few coins niggah left on the table at the seating room before he left for work.
In the evening, normally returned earlier than him. I would then get into my computer to practice some shit and shit.
One day my niggah arrived at around 9pm and as usual, I was already in doing my stuff. We had some discussion and after a few minutes he walked out.
An hour later, niggah returned. "Hebu nitafutie jug kubwa yenye iko na kifuniko" He asked, but unfortunately we couldn't find any in the house that had a lid. We only had two, but their lids were nowhere to be found. He went out again.
About 30 minutes later he returned. I was at the verge of going to bed but very hungry; in fact I had not eaten anything that day. So I decided to ask him if he had some coins that I could buy some food nisilale njaa. "Uncle hebu nisaidie 50 bob ninunue chakula, I'm hungry..." He was silent for a while then replied. "Nilikuwa na 100 bob but nimenunua jug nayo. Si ungeniitisha kabla ninunue hiyo jug..."
I was wondering why the jug was such a big issue, proving so necessary... I had not seen it cause he had not brought it to the house after buying it. So I decided to ask him what the jug was all about.
From his disposition, it was clear that he didn't want to answer my question or perhaps he lacked means to explain.
But he had to answer, he knew I needed an explanation. Ju ata wewe fikiria, what would compell you to go out to purchase a jug that's not necessary in the house at 9pm? "Jug ni ya kazi gani unco, ama kuna mtu ulipoteza yake ukaamua kumnunulia a new one?" I asked him for a second time.
Finally, he answered. "Kuna mwanaume ananichezea sana ju anatembea na mama kevo. Leo nataka kuwafunza lesson ju nimeambiwa wameandamana kwa night party, club fulani hapa mtaani."
He explained further telling me that he had decided to fetch shit from one toilet that had blocked, and with this he would teach them (his wife and her man). Jamaa aliamua atawarushia hiyo mafi majimaji... When he told me he had already bought the jug and fetched shit, njaa iliisha immediately. And I almost told him, "ata 20bob sitaki kama umetoka kushika meffi!"
He had a friend in that party who kept him updated on the events there and the movements of his his wife and her 'shaddow'. This would help him in timing so as to ideally pursue them immediately after the party ended.
Time passed with thrir calls and sms's distracting my sleep. At around 2am the party was over, and as he had all information, he went out and picked his 2.5 litre jug full of shit and proceeded to the club...
He reached there right on time, and without having to wait, spotted his wife together with her man walking out of the club. The man was holding her around her waist... There were other people around there; some walking back to their houses, some standing, some drunk, some sober, some in groups, a few thieves and so on.
He pretended to have not seen his targets and moved quickly to meet them some distance away fron the club...

He reached the point where he thought was ideal to attack them. Here he waited for a short while and then they approached. He couldn't attack from far, so he waited until they reached him...
Finally, they were close enough at a distance he could throw his shit at them.
Niggah had already opened his jug ready to fire shit and at this time it was too late, he couldn't resist... so he fired... But immediately they noticed him and ran away. They knew my niggah was always out to destroy them cause fracas always erupted whenever they met him.
Meffi ikarushwa...
But he missed his target and shot his shit at other people around there. He showered the wrong people, tens of them, with meffi.
That's what he narrated to me when he returned at 6am in the morning... Hakurudi na jug... alikuwa amebeba ile cream ya kujisugua inaitagwa Emami Menthol Plus.
 
Last edited:
#15
Mambo yake ilikuaga hivyo yote...
I can give you more than hundred episodes.

Another day he came to the house and sat quietly for some minutes. Later he started to stretch his left hand alaf akaniambia, "huu mkono wangu unauma and nashuku ni kama yule mwanamke aliniendea kwa waganga... the pain has persisted since a day I fought her man." I enjoyed. I couldn't know all he was after in the lady after they seperated.
Baadaye he told me, "I've fought this guy several times but he seems arrogant. Lakini sasa nataka kuwapea vita ya mwisho ya kimataifa alaf niachane na wao " "Kwani unataka kuwafanyia nini?" I interrupted. "Hebu nitafutie shoka langu ndogo hapo chini ya kabati" He continued. I then searched under the cupboard and found a small all-metallic axe... "Hii ndio nitaenda nayo"... Nikaikagua kagua, then handed it to him...
For a while I felt threatened, ju by that time sikuwa nimezoeana na yeye bado. And I had never known he was so daring... That axe disturbed me for some time. I thought of anything I could say, nikakosa... nikaona nimwambie tu, "haka kashoka hakajanolewa vizuri... kanakaa blunt kiasi..." But he told me, ati, "kanatakiwa kawe hivyo"

Mambo yake ilikuwaga all crazy namna hiyo
 
Last edited:

Top