Once again, the Master Amateur Psychologist lands on the scene (shepart style), about to do a few reveals that would normally never be available to civilians (read Walala Hoi).I will briefly describe a few psychological hacks that can be tested on real people in broad daylight with varying risks and unbelievable results. As usual, you have to thank the drink for this unusual generosity from me. As for the brand of the drink, I won’t reveal; for it might compromise my billionaire status. However, I have to admit that I have a weakness for cheap stuff.
Scenario 1: Getting paid by the shopkeeper for being a his customer
Please note, the first execution of this maneuver was accidental, but the subsequent ones were not. But these do not matter as they happened many decades ago. And this is how it goes. You head to the local shopkeeper intending to buy some items. You are holding a 200-shilling note in your hand. At the same time, you have a 100-shilling note in your pocket. As you make eye contact with the shopkeeper, make sure the 200-shilling note is visibly held on your hand in front of shopkeeper. Then proceed to enquire about the prices of the items you intend to buy. It could go something like this;
You: “Hiyo majani kubwa pesa ngapi?”
Shopkeeper: “Shillingi hamsini.”
You (taking your time to think): “Na hiyo ndogo?”
Shopkeeper: “20 bob.”
You: “Okay…… Na Omo ndogo?”
Shopkeeper: “15 bob.”
You: “Alafu, unaweza kuwa na ile blueband ya 20 bob?”
Shopkeeper: “Iko.”
You: “Sawa. Nipe……Majani ndogo, Omo ndogo, na Blueband ya 20-bob.”
As the shopkeeper turns to pick the items, swiftly exchange the 200-bob note on your hand with the 100-note in your pocket. And make sure you hold the 100-bob note in the same way you held the 200-bob note with the hand in the same position. After you are handed the goods, let the shopkeeper pick the 100-bob note from you hand, without you moving it too much. To your disbelief, the shopkeeper will assume you have just handed him 200 shillings, and will give you the change money accordingly. In this case, you will get 145 shillings as change money instead of the deserved 45 shillings.
Mechanics of the Trick
The human mind is lazy, people don’t like processing information unnecessarily because it is an energy intensive exercise. In most cases, people avoid instances where they have to process new information from the ground up. In the case of the shopkeeper, when he sees the 200-bob note in the first instance, he registers that you have a 200 bob note. All his mental calculations will be done using the 200-bob note, and his lazy mind will never allow him to re-check or reassess the value the money you are holding. I could prove this point without the need of a full paragraph. Here we go. It is common for people to feel ‘uncomfortable’ when they encounter individuals who are too different from them. For instance, a white fellow might feel almost aggressive when he encounters a black individual. In the same way, a black person will feel overly tasked to accommodate the presence of a White individual. In the same way, too tall or too short elicits the reaction. Let me bring it closer home. The ‘discomfort’ is the feeling you get when you encounter an individual with a deformed limb, in a wheel chair, missing eye, cross-eyes, deformed body parts, ‘wrong outfit’, ‘inappropriate hairstyle’. And please note, I am not being disrespectful to persons living with disabilities. I cannot afford to. But I can tell you for certain that a one-legged man will feel the same ‘discomfort’ when he encounters a leg-less individual (excuse my use of these terms. I am too wasted to navigate to a site with the proper terms).
Let me just summarize the point I am trying to convey. We all expect humans to have two eyes, ears, a mouth at a certain location, a nose etc. When we encounter a new individual, our subconscious mind goes to work perusing through this checklist. Two eyes, check; two ears, check; a mouth, check; two legs, check. Now, the trouble comes in when one of these many qualities does not check as expected. In this case, the subconscious mind sends red alerts to the conscious mind. At this point, the lazy conscious mind is forced to engage to assess the situation. This is an energy intensive activity. You do not want to think about what could have happened to that disfigured face when you should be thinking about the things you will do your new girlfriend. In short, we hate situations that force us to engage in heavy mental processing. I could further reinforce this by giving an anecdote you could have encountered at some point. You could be having a friend with these ‘unusual’ qualities. At first, you may have been too conscious about their condition. However, with time, you get used to their condition such that you no longer notice their ‘condition’. You only remember about it when others point it out. Why is this so? You subconscious has already accommodated this particular individual. But, it does not mean that you will remain immune to bias should you encounter a stranger with a similar condition.
Now back to main theme of our discussion; massaging the shopkeeper to bleed some free money. As you go about this experiment, you ought to take a few precautions. And they are as follow;
[ol]
[li]Interruptions in the transaction process could change the outcome. Usitumie pesa ambazo shopkeeper ataenda kutafuta change. If the process in interrupted by such events, utaenda ukikauka.[/li][li]Usiende kwa duka ukiwa umevalia rangi mingi kama @Deja vu (I had to jab you at some point, umenizoea), ama kama umevaa earings kama mnubi fulani (hii mtu hatupi amani kwa estate, sio kumchukia lakini namdharau). You need the shopkeeper’s attention to be fully focused on the transaction at hand, not your fashion crimes.[/li][li]Repeating this process on a peasant shopkeeper over and over again could earn you a believable permanently remodeled face, which is not a good thing because BVR machine zitakukataa, na mnajua Baba lazima aingie State house come August 9th .[/li][/ol]
Next attraction; Scenario 2: Hacking into that beautiful lass who thinks you rank slightly below meffi in terms of usefulness. At least the later can be used as manure.
Kutubu: Forgive me lord, this is not me speaking. It is the stuff you miraculously produced using just water.
Benefits of the document: I finally believe I can author a half-decent instruction manual on how to make her come without touching her.
Kwa wale wataitisha summary, I have no kind words for you. But I won’t be explicit. Kindly search for the meaning of the word vacuous. For the grammar police, feel free to embarrass me, but only for today. Wacha sasa nikapangie hii maid mpya ya jirani. And please like the damn thing, I badly need Ktalk Currency (KCr).
Ebu ni-post haraka kabla nikue sober nishindwe hii ni ufala gani nafanya.