• Happy Mashujaa Day

JAMES

#1
james will not enter heaven even if he prays a thousand and one times. Some years back after clearing form 4, he became a village goon.
One afternoon,hie decided to hunt for class 8 girls, Jim had an eye for certain rich man's daughter (The man was rich and famous because he owned two big kiosks in the village).
James steals kimbo cooking fat from the grass thatched kitchen then applies it on his face, hands and legs then applies the rest on his torn sandac shoes, he is now shining like mandazi (He will always blame the dog for stealing fat when his big sister asks him to explain how a full can of kimbo disappeared). He steals his uncle's bicycle to impress the 17 year old girl who is known for repeating all classes ever since she begun learning in nursery. The Nigga mounts his uncle's bicycle, performing several strange stunts with it, he learned several of those stunts in dimly lit video shows where you pay 5 bob to watch a movie, am told one of the stunt ended up hurting his left buttock.
The kids are now going home from school, the girl notices his crush, she brags to other girls how she has a clever boyfriend who scored D+ in HIGH school, since the girls were born fools, they agree that D+ is a great academic accomplishment, she stays behind as James, brakes the stolen bicycle in a stylish manner, they start conversation, he tells the buffoonery but cute girl how he got admission to University of America in London, the shy girl draws circles in the sand in excitement........the uncertainty happens, the girl's father is the only man in the village with a motorbike, he is heading home, spots a man in torn shoes and tattered jeans caressing and fondling his daughter,...........he stops the motorcycle at a distance then approaches the lovebirds slowly with a rungu that can kill a buffalo with one blow, the old man sways the fimbo but he misses James' head, he rotates then falls down with a thud, farts loudly.....iko shida, Mr. James jumps on his uncle's bike, accelerates at a supersonic speed......on the main murram road, there are cycling competitions organized by local MP as a way of youth empowerment, James is accelerating towards the competitions, the old man mounts on his motorbike then follows the boy, trembling like a lion, fortunately or unfortunately, James now heads on the main road without race admins noticing, joins the race as a way of escaping the raging old man...... you see, the competitions have begun 2 hours ago, the competitors are tired, the boy is cruising at a supersonic speed overtaking others who are legally in the race, he goes away to the next market center then crosses the line, silly boy is declared the winner by clueless organizers, the prize is a brand new bicycle and 5 thousand shillings. The MP awards James all those Items.......................................................
.......................................Reliable sources claim that Mr. James works in Nairobi as a fake doctor. The villagers who legally participated in that race are still hunting for his head.
 

Jay Thandi

Senior Villager
#8
I have watched the movy from which you stole the concept. Seems you also loved those 5 bob movies of Jackie Chan, Samo hang and the likes
 

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