Due to the nature of my job, Approximately 3 years back i used to head a unit on behalf of a multinational corporation. The organization had teams working in KeUGTz.
Kalangala Island is 4hrs away via ferry from Entebbe - the trip is quite uneventful since its local folk until you see the sandy beaches of Kalangala calling you like a single girl dancing bendover in a short skirt in one of the clubs along the Kiambu beer belt.
It was during one of the end of year staff parties that i had organized that i physically met this Ugandan Nyabo, all I knew before then was a faceless name on the payroll sheet as is norm when approving salaries for guys in the outpost.
So all went well, we did our conference in the morning, afew team building & engagement games in the afternoon and the normal dinner ball in one of the hotels in the island.
We had some chemistry with the Nyabo since she was one of the top performers and her name stuck on my tongue like saliva during reference. Well…we got some chemistry due to some biology facts which obviously led to thorough physics in the night with the lake tiding in and beating the beach like a Bang bros trailer star.
I think Waganda are an upgrade version of Wakambodia when it comes to giving it up. Huwa wanakupatia hadi unajiskia uko loop of henle hapo mbele ya kidney
In the morning we all had to check out and it being a Sunday, i had to catch the flight back to Ke. You should have seen how a few lays make a chic think that she owns you, she was all hawkeyed and patronising to the other group of around 20 maybe as a mark of territory.
I left. We continued communicating with nonchalant flirts on whatsapp.
Fast forward to last week and this Kunguru tells me she is coming over to Kenya, specific to Msa for a friends Wedding. Obviously nikajua hapa atakuwa na shugli zake but nitalamba lolo…Mboga ilikam na ikasema imefika, I didnt put much thought to it until it told me that its on the afternoon SGR train headed my way and will be there by 7… Haiya, ilikuwa jokes nikisema karibu Kenya we should hook up when you are here…
Being Firday, i had to linger around the office and even missed the Worldcup matches. Kindu 8 pm i called the mboga and we agreed that i pick her up at railways station. By now i had told the government (Wife) that we are watching football with the office staff and i will be late kidogo. 20 min, 30 min I am parked mbele ya Mat za Ronga ni zii and the Kunguru arrives.
I had already ran out of all the lies i would have cooked not to see this Kunguru like switching off my phone since i am too old for that shit so nikangoja tu. Kiria gikaina kiine (Whatever will sing will sing).
Once the Nyabo entered the car my first question was - ‘so whats your plan and how long will you be in Kenya?’, The Kunguru retorted that i was her plan and she would be gone by Sunday, sasa nikashindwa huyu ananiwekelea madeni na vile huku Nairobi nikujaribu tu. Kama sio mwizi basi ni gova - Kanju, cops, bad roads…
She said how hungry she was and i told her we can look for somewhere to grab something to eat have a drink as we catch up.
I picked a wingman of mine hapo Archives and headed to - yes, Kiambu Rd. All along the journey i was conversing with my Wingman in Swahili for obvious reason about Ug & Swa. I needed him to take one for us but he could hear non of it after learning that i had passed through the Nyabo and its out of mutual consent we agreed the only place we can follow each other through is through the door and nowhere else…
I then told him to then give me his Kichinjio crib for the Kunguru to put up for the night then we see what to do the next day. By now the Government was already calling asking that its 2am na nilisema nawatch ball alafu niwapelekee food juu hawakuwa wapike Friday…arrgghhh
Kufika kule kichnjio mboga niliacha imelala, mamunju kiasi and many promises to make it up to her. I dropped the wingman and headed home. Next day, on my way to work nilipitia mboga, nikakula vizuri and left for work. The mboga had some friends coming to watch the Rugby game so i thought i had escaped. Haya kuchukua Taxify is a problem since hers was showing in UGx but thats a small price as long as she goes.
Sasa ujinga ni, she carried the key which is only one copy to the kichinjio, her phone went off during the game and i think some of her friends convinced her they go back during the night since by the time i was calling on Sunday, simu inalia international.
I tried reasoning with her to go to the bus and send it as a parcel…she claimed how tired she was and she lives outside town…we had a back and forth and finally after 2 days she has blocked my number…please note huwezi piga simu hadharani since Gover atajua uko na umonkey na hukuwa unawatch games
If you reading this from Ug, i need your help, my guy is on my case that maybe the house was washed na hatujui since hes been sleeping at his gals place for the last 2 days hadi wameanza kukosana…
Nyabo, chukua simu nugu hii juu nikikuja Champala juu ya ufunguo utakipata kama Besigye…
NKT