Kalewa Sacco: Kufagiliwa na Kunguru Edishen

[pseudonym]

Shida ya kuwacha bibi anunue fridge alafu wewe unanunua nyama.

Kuwacha bibi anunue tv na gotv wewe ulipie subscription.

Bibi anunue cooker wewe urefill gas.

Utajiju.

good point.

 

[pseudonym]

ungetafuta kwanza mattress na bedsheets za kutumiwa kama curtains. saa hii utakua unakaa kama ndege kwa nest. kila mtu akipita anakuona.

funny but true

 

[Mathaais]

leta hekaya

Nitaweka siku moja kama zile za Pamba but pia mimi one day nilipata only bed bila mattress, a towel and my clothes scattered all over.

 

[pseudonym]

a scorning woman, i guess......and don't forget she came back two months later seeking forgiveness...

Ati alirudi! Oh gods!

You guys are making me choke on my alcohol!!!

 

[pseudonym]

Nitaweka siku moja kama zile za Pamba but pia mimi one day nilipata only bed bila mattress, a towel and my clothes scattered all over.

Wah!

 

[myks]

The boy child surely has problems.. alafu some months down the line atakam aanze kuomba msamaha..

 

[kasaman]

Enyewe kunguru hafugiki. Jana nimeenda katrip, sasa nikiwa requim mass hapo holy trinity church Kile, nikapigiwa simu na neighbour, akanishow "jirani kumbe unahama na husemi " , nikamdismiss nikamwambia amekosea, akanishow "ukweli mama nanii ameleta lorry hapa vitu zote zinabebwa". Nikasema acha nimcall ni confirm. The hoe alikua unapologetic na kunisho amechoka na kufanyiwa madharau na kuhanywa (na hakuna kitu kaa hiyo, she's just so paranoid )na amebeba vitu zake tu. So nikaambia caretaker n jirani waache aende. Later nikaconfirm amebeba nini, my friends niliambiwa alibeba karibu kila kitu. Leo kufika kwa hao napata nimeachiwa tu dustbin, soap dish, nguo zangu na toilet brush.
Before mtu anijudge, mtu akuwe na facts.
Mimi sasa naingia hapa kwa Kaloki nikunywe Gilbeys na faxe nikitafuta kabedsitter kwaja

Reminds of a nigga ,got the same call ,rushed home to find everything in the house cleared and th e Lorry moving. He managed to jump up ! Akiwa kwa gari nasikia napigiwa simu 'mtu wangu, eeeenimehama nasijui naenda wapi , lakini nitawajulisha !'
Kumbe the wife was tired of the nigga drinking problems !

 

[gashwin]

Ati alirudi! Oh gods!

You guys are making me choke on my alcohol!!!

the guy was giving in "juu ya watoto"....we reminded him that next time haitakuwa long'i itakuwa McAggary...

 

[Despotic_megalomaniac]

Aaaaargh!!!

These women always out here convincing the whole world all women are crazy...

 

[Mathaais]

Wah!

Nilirudi pole pole kwa bar nikalewa mpaka midnight nikaingia nikalala juu ya mbao kama nimejifunika hiyo towel which luckily ilikuwa zile large size.

 

[Greedy Genius]

Iza men! She might one day regret this. As for you, you can start afresh. Report to police for that OB and get a divorce. Una bahati hakipanga kukuuwa

 

[gashwin]

Nilirudi pole pole kwa bar nikalewa mpaka midnight nikaingia nikalala juu ya mbao kama nimejifunika hiyo towel which luckily ilikuwa zile large size.

you've conveniently forgotten how you cried the rest of the night.........

 

[Randy]

wah!! pole kwa masaibu.

 

[Ice_Cube]

you've conveniently forgotten how you cried the rest of the night.........

as a man that memory is conveniently forgotten..

 

[roots]

Ati alirudi! Oh gods!

You guys are making me choke on my alcohol!!!

bado mnakunywa kiembeni na kadere...isorait

 

[Mathaais]

you've conveniently forgotten how you cried the rest of the night.........

I didn't, I slept immediately juu ya ulevi. Mimi huwa roho ngumu mbaya. I remember swearing am not going after her but would start buying new stuff immediately which I started by buying a mattress the following day.

 

[myks]

Nilirudi pole pole kwa bar nikalewa mpaka midnight nikaingia nikalala juu ya mbao kama nimejifunika hiyo towel which luckily ilikuwa zile large size.

ukiamka unakaa sand paper.. ulim_forgive?

 

[Chaos]

Unaokota chipo mahali, unaamka unapata ulihamishwa. Unaamua kuoa, unakuta wembe ni ule ule. Wanawake mnataka tufanye nini jameni??

 

[123tokambio]

Nilirudi pole pole kwa bar nikalewa mpaka midnight nikaingia nikalala juu ya mbao kama nimejifunika hiyo towel which luckily ilikuwa zile large size.

 

[D.... Mungai]

Kuna boy wangu he works in Britam, 2013 October to be exact, jamaa fresh employed akanunua vitu kiasi kwa nyumba, out of feeling like a master juu ya pesa kapata dem, jana wakalipwa 24th on a Thursday siwezi sahau, wakaserereka salo yote by 29th pesa imeisha,, jamaa the last 1k akaamua kufukuza mtu nayo kaa fare na kaenda job, key apee caretaker. Weee jamaa alifika nyumbani jioni, hana pesa hana vitu dem aliepa. Msee salary ya kutumia November imeisha October 29th. Woooiiii jamaa alianza kukula chai na KIDANCE ya ofisi kaa shiet, juu anajua hakuna lunch ama supper.
Jamaa alikua akifika kwa hao usiku, hawashi stima anaingia ivyo tu kwa nyumba adi bedroom, anajua njia, anagonga kitanda na mguu moja alafu anaruka kwa bed hadi salary ya November ikaingia.
Up to today we usually laugh about hii episode.